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[personal profile] xanthefic


Tony kneels astride Gibbs’s back and gently places his oiled hands on Gibbs’s shoulders. The fingers of his broken hand are covered in a now grubby bandage, but he can use the palm of the hand well enough.

The oil smells of something herbal – and not a particularly nice herb, either – but it’s all he’s got to work with, so he’s going to make the best of it.

Gibbs’s shoulders are as hard as iron. The muscles have been over-worked for months, and that, combined with the stress of the place, has created a solid knot across Gibbs’s back.

Tony gently soothes his fingers across the surface of the skin, gliding back and forth.

At first, Gibbs is stiff and resistant, but Tony expected that. He knows it will take him some time to just give in and go with it. Tony suspects that Gibbs isn’t the kind of man who has ever received a massage for the simple pleasure of it, and he wants to give him that. He wants to take Gibbs out of this nightmare world, even if only for a short time, and make him float.

Tony loves trailing his fingers over Gibbs’s skin, sinking in more firmly wherever he finds a knot, and gently easing it out. There’s something incredibly satisfying about making a man as intense and focused as Gibbs zone out.

It takes a little while, but Gibbs slowly starts to relax. Tony notices that if he presses too hard then Gibbs’s muscles remain rigid, but if he’s patient, persistent, and gentle, they gradually start to soften.

Tony finds one persistent knot and rubs away at it gently for a long time until Gibbs gives a little grunt, and Tony feels something pop and release.

“You got any qualifications for this, DiNozzo?” Gibbs demands lazily.

Tony laughs. “Only dozens of satisfied customers in the bedroom, Boss,” he replies flippantly. Gibbs’s shoulders tense immediately, and Tony can actually feel the rage boiling up inside him. What the hell is that about?

It takes him several minutes to soothe Gibbs’s muscles back to the relaxed state they were in before, but Tony wasn’t lying about his lovers. One of the things he’s always enjoyed most about sex is the sensuality of the act.

He learned how to give good massages in college, with a fuck buddy who was team quarterback and always had muscles that felt like solid brick. Then there was the girlfriend in Peoria, who just loved having gently heated oil trailed over her back and buttocks and rubbed in. Tony learned to massage out of the sheer sensual joy of touch, and he’s damn good at it, one handed or not.

Tony moves up to Gibbs’s scalp and concentrates his attention on that, easing away the tension with firm sweeps of his fingertips. Gibbs’s hair has been cropped close to his head, only silver-grey stubble covering the smooth, bare skin, and Tony loves the sensation of that closely cropped hair under his hands. He massages Gibbs’s scalp for several long minutes, before moving further down.

Gibbs’s body is marked with a network of scars, old and new, telling the story of a long life, lived hard. Tony finds the top of a recent long whip scar and gently maps it from shoulder to hip. When he finishes with that one, he finds another and traces it back up again, with a feather light touch.

Beneath him, Gibbs relaxes even more, his body sinking into the mattress. Tony circles a dark, crescent-shaped scar on Gibbs’s shoulder. It’s recent; maybe an injury he got in the pit.

“Bite. Third Fight Night,” Gibbs mumbles into his pillow, as if reading his mind. “Bastard sank his teeth right in.”

Tony gently soothes his fingers into the scar, acknowledging it, and then moves on.

He finds an old, white, scar on Gibbs’s side, just beneath his ribs. He lingers there for a few seconds, examining the jagged edges.

“Stabbed. On a case. Russia,” Gibbs mutters. “Stupid. Shoulda seen it coming.”

Tony glides his fingers up a little way and dips them into an old bullet wound on Gibbs’s shoulder. He knows how this one happened.

“Ari,” Gibbs growls, stiffening.

“Yeah, I know. I was there.”

Tony trails his fingers over it, soothing it, and Gibbs slowly relaxes again. Tony isn’t sure if Gibbs will be comfortable with his ass being caressed, so he skips that and goes lower. He finds a tiny, puckered scar on Gibbs’s thigh and recognizes it as another bullet wound.

“Colombia. Black ops,” Gibbs says quietly. “Got a fever with that one. Nearly died.”

Tony slides down Gibbs’s legs and finds a twisted scar on the back of his knee that twines all the way around to the front. This one is old. Very old. He kneads it gently with his fingers, and this time Gibbs says nothing, but his muscles tighten. This scar still clearly hurts; not physically – it’s too old for that – but it marks a wound that goes far deeper than flesh.

Tony spends awhile easing away at it, knowing that Gibbs still gets stiffness in the knee. Gibbs has always walked with a slight limp, and now he’s up close Tony can see why. It’s a nasty scar; this must have been a terrible injury once, a long time ago.

He doesn’t ask for an explanation; he just works at it with careful swirls of his fingertips, taking his time, soothing the slightly twisted muscle under the skin.

He’s so lost in the task that he’s almost taken by surprise when Gibbs suddenly gives a deep, exhausted sigh, and his body relaxes almost visibly beneath him. It’s as if something inside him has surrendered, making his body completely loose and pliant.

Tony feels as if he’s been given permission, and now, as his fingers trail upwards again, he’s more daring. He places his hands gently on Gibbs’s taut buttocks and leaves them there for a second, motionless, to see if Gibbs objects. When no objection is forthcoming, he moves his hands across the globes of flesh, circling gently. Gibbs’s ass is perfectly round, the skin pale and firm beneath his fingertips. Tony works it for several minutes, allowing his fingers to soothe and caress, but nothing more.

Gibbs now looks as relaxed as Tony’s ever seen him. His face is angled to one side, his mouth is slightly open, and his breathing is deep and even.

Tony has a sudden vivid mental image of Gibbs as an old grey wolf, strong, wily, and powerful, muscles rippling under the surface of his fur. Right now, Tony has the wolf eating out of his hand, dozing lazily under his fingertips, but he doesn’t think for a second that the wolf has been tamed. It’s still there, just beneath the surface, biding its time.

Tony smiles and continues trailing his fingers over Gibbs’s now thoroughly oiled skin, pouring a decade’s unspoken devotion into the task. Years of unrequited love are in his fingertips as he gives himself up to it completely.

Gibbs might be a difficult, ornery bastard, but he’s always been the only man Tony ever loved, and he wants to offer all that love to him now, without asking for anything in return. He imbues every caress with a loving tenderness, but there is nothing sexual about his devotions. He wants only to give, not take. He works hard for a very long time, smoothing, gentling and swirling, losing himself completely in his task.

He isn’t sure how much time has passed when his aching fingers finally come to a halt of their own accord. Gibbs looks boneless and completely at rest beneath him. Relaxation has softened his features, making him look more like a cub than a grizzled old wolf.

Tony lies down beside him and pulls Gibbs into his arms. Gibbs comes without a murmur, and Tony holds him close, enjoying the warmth of his oiled skin seeping into him.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he whispers in the dark.

Gibbs moves his head. “Mmm, whassat?” he mutters, clearly half asleep.

Tony smiles and holds him tight. “Never mind. I think I just did.”

~*~


Gibbs wakes up the following morning feeling well-rested for the first time in five months. He’s never slept through the entire night before. This place is too noisy, with the sounds of the fighters in other stalls fucking or arguing, and the sound of the guard in the hallway patrolling up and down, or, sometimes, the sound of Ellis’s radio blaring out all night long.

None of that seemed to matter last night, and he slept the night through without waking once.

“You missed your calling, DiNozzo,” he says, rolling his shoulders experimentally and finding them loose and relaxed. “Should have been a massage therapist instead of an NCIS agent.”

Tony gazes at him for a long moment from narrowed eyes – and then he grins. “You’re welcome, Boss. And next time a simple ‘thank you’ will do.”

Gibbs gives a grunt of laughter, but mainly he’s just pleased that there’s going to be a next time.

It’s the day before the fight, and, as usual, tensions are running high. Gibbs puts in his best performance of the week in training, and Frank is happy with him.

“You’re the best you’ve ever been,” Frank says approvingly as he tapes his knuckles for a practice fight in the ring. “Like a sleek fighting machine. My pit bull terrier. I’m proud of ya, Leroy. You’re the best fighter I’ve ever trained, and I’ll retire a happy man when you bring home the title.”

“There’s a title?” Gibbs raises an eyebrow.

“Figure of speech.” Frank shrugs. “But you’ve made me a hell of a lot of money, Leroy. I did good with you.”

“You ever feel bad about that?” Gibbs asks. “I’m not here by choice, Frank.”

Frank laughs. “Oh, Leroy, nobody could fight like you do in the pit and not want to be there. It’s your home, lad.” He pats Gibbs’s arm, still chuckling away to himself, and Gibbs remembers how Tony said something very similar to him last night.

“The competition only gets tougher from here on in,” Frank tells him. “But I think you’ll relish that, Leroy. You won’t lose. It’s not in you to lose. I’ve trained a few fighters in my time, but you’re the only one I’ve met who really gets it. You understand what it means to let go in the pit, to fight with your head, and your heart, and your entire soul, and to give it everything you have.”

Gibbs thinks about how it feels when he’s standing in the holding pen on the edge of the pit just before a fight, the scent of sawdust in his nostrils and the anger rising up inside, ready to be unleashed. He can feel the sense of exhilaration and anticipation, and he knows that Tony and Frank are both right; a part of him does love it out there.

“What will happen to Tony?” he asks. “He’s not fighting tomorrow.”

“Then he’ll stay behind.” Frank shrugs. “That’s what usually happens with the injured lads. You’ve been here long enough to know that, Leroy.”

Gibbs doesn’t like the idea of Tony being out of his sight. Who knows what might happen when he’s not here? It’s not as if he can protect Tony even when they are together, but at least he doesn’t have to fret about what’s happening to him. Frank doesn’t have the power to bring Tony along with them to the fight. That’s down to Scott, and Gibbs doubts he’ll even see his owner before the fight, let alone get a chance to ask him for a favour.

“Someone stole something from me yesterday, Leroy,” Frank says, giving him a searching look.

“That so?”

“Yeah, someone stole that little bottle of my special oil, right out of my pocket. Who d’you think did that?”

“No idea.” Gibbs gazes at him blankly.

Frank leans in close and sniffs his skin. “I think that boy of yours is looking out for you, Leroy, same as you’re looking out for him.”

Gibbs shrugs, keeping his face deliberately expressionless.

Frank gives a little grunt. “I could call Ellis over, have your stall searched – stealing earns an automatic whipping, Leroy.”

“I know. But like you said, Frank, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been, and you get to take all the credit for that.” Gibbs gives him a conspiratorial little grin.

Frank’s beady dark eyes gleam with amusement. “Just as long as the cold-hearted killer in you doesn’t go all soft and mushy over that boy, because we need our wolfman hard and hungry in the pit.”

“Soft and mushy? Me?” Gibbs raises an eyebrow.

Frank laughs out loud. “Oh – and tell Tony he doesn’t have to steal oil to make things go nice and easy when you fuck him. Tanner will hand out lube if you ask nicely.”

Gibbs doesn’t get a chance to correct Frank’s misunderstanding of why Tony’s stole the oil because at that moment a scuffle breaks out on the other side of the room. Greg and Matt, usually the best of friends, are snarling at each other and trading blows.

Ellis strides over there, pulling his whip out of his belt as he walks. His usual tactic for breaking up a brawl is to whip all the fighters involved until they stop. It’s brutal but effective. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Tony jumps between the fighting men. Gibbs pulls away from where Frank is taping his knuckles and runs over there, Frank hard on his heels.

Tony is trying to get between the two men and break up the fight, but Gibbs can see he’s just going to get caught in the crossfire when Ellis starts throwing that whip around. He grabs Frank’s arm.

“If Tony gets whipped, I won’t be happy,” he growls.

Frank makes a sucking sound through his teeth, giving Gibbs an angry look, but he steps up all the same. He goes over to Ellis and grabs his wrist just as he’s about to bring the whip down on the fighting men.

It buys them a little time. Gibbs manages to haul Matt off Greg, while Tony wrestles Greg away to one side, and the scuffle is over. Looking back over his shoulder, Gibbs sees Ellis shooting Tony a vicious glare, and he’s suddenly aware that in his efforts to keep Tony safe he might just have painted a very big target on his back.

~*~


Tony wraps an arm around Greg’s shoulder and forces him away into one corner.

“What the hell was that about, buddy?” he asks, crouching in front of the angrily trembling man. “You and Matt are friends – you share a stall.” And they’re fuck-buddies too – everyone knows that. Tony’s heard them, night after night – Greg isn’t exactly quiet during sex.

“He’s a fucking bastard! I want to fucking kill him!” Greg growls, wrapping his arms around his body and rocking to and fro.

“No you don’t, buddy,” Tony says quietly.

Greg begins to calm down, taking several deep breaths. He looks up and meets Tony’s eye, still rocking slightly. “It’s Fight Night tomorrow, and everyone knows Matt is one of the weaker fighters. I was just trying to get him to train harder, so he’ll be stronger, but he’s a lazy shit, and the trainers don’t care because he’s never gonna win them any money.”

“Well, that’s Matt’s look out,” Tony tells him. “You can’t make him train harder if he doesn’t want to.”

“But I want him to.” Greg’s mood breaks, and he slumps down pathetically. “Supposing he loses, Tony? Supposing he doesn’t come back? What the hell will I do then?”

Tony understands that in this hothouse environment these men come to rely on the friendships they’ve made with each other. They might have been pushed together by circumstances, but they’ll cling to anyone who can help them get through this nightmare. Only Gibbs seems immune and has chosen to navigate these dark waters alone. But then only Gibbs is strong enough mentally to do that. Everyone else is more…human.

“You can’t think like that, Greg,” Tony tells him. “It’s out of your hands. If it happens it happens. You’ve got to concentrate on winning your own fight. That’s the only thing that IS in your hands.”

He talks to Greg for a long time, telling him jokes, discussing movies, and gradually Greg’s dark mood subsides. Eventually he gets up. “Thanks, Tony. I’m…gonna just…” He walks off in Matt’s direction, and a few minutes later Tony seems them hugging each other, foreheads pressed together. He has no idea how these men handle the stress of the sudden, enforced separations that losing a fight inflicts on them, but he hopes these two don’t have to, and that they both win their fights.

Sam Hurrell comes over to him. “Shit, this place messes with your head,” Tony says to him with a sigh, still watching Matt and Greg.

“It’s Fight Night tomorrow. It always gets tense the day before.” Hurrell sits down beside him. “How’s it going with Gibbs? You getting anywhere?”

Tony shrugs. “One step forward, two steps back, but I’m getting there. I think.”

“Is he going to help with an escape?” Hurrell wraps his arms around his knees.

“No.” Tony shakes his head. “I don’t think so, Sam. It’s like he’s given up.”

“Or he enjoys the pit too much to try.”

Tony looks over at where Gibbs is sparring with Frank. “Maybe. I don’t know. I think maybe there’s something else going on too.”

“But he won’t tell you?”

“Not yet, no. It’s been five months, Sam. He trusts me, but he’s always been close-mouthed at the best of times, and these are definitely not the best of times. He’s struggling with something – I know that much.”

“I feel that too,” Hurrell says. “It’s like there’s something big going on inside him, and he doesn’t know which way it’ll end up going. I call it his two wolves.”

“Two wolves?” Tony raises an eyebrow.

“There’s a good one and a bad one, a light one and a dark one, both fighting inside him. Question is, which one’ll win?”

“The light wolf,” Tony says, without hesitation.

“You have that much faith in him?”

“I’ve known him a long time, and I know that dark wolf well. I’ve seen it, and in all honesty it gives him his edge and it’s what makes him so good at his job. He’s always been able to control it though – the light wolf always makes sure of that.”

“Even here? With all the drugs, and the training, and the beatings, and the pit? Seems to me this place just feeds the dark wolf constantly, and the light one doesn’t even get scraps.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Tony smiles at him, remembering the previous night. “The light wolf is the underdog in this fight, yes, but it’s getting fed. I’m seeing to that.”

Hasn’t that always been his job where Gibbs is concerned? Back at NCIS, he always saw his job role as relieving the tension and teasing a smile out of Gibbs to keep the team’s mood from getting too intense. This particular battle has been playing out for a very long time, and Tony thinks Gibbs needs both wolves in equal measure. He’s seen the light wolf too, as well as the dark. He’s seen Gibbs rescue those in need, look after small children with infinite care and patience, and get justice even when it costs him dear. The light wolf is equally as strong as the dark one; Tony just needs to remind him of that.

“Look, Tony, I wanted to talk to you…about Jan,” Hurrell says, a flush rising to his cheeks. “See, if I lose tomorrow then I won’t be coming back here, and I won’t have a chance to ask you again.”

“You won’t lose tomorrow, Sam,” Tony says firmly.

“I might. I did a terrible thing last week, Tony. I…I lost it. After Steve was killed, I went a bit crazy, and I beat up on that guy in the pit so bad that I don’t think he survived. He came back in the truck with us, but I never saw him again after that. I think he was too badly hurt, and they shot him.”

“They didn’t shoot him, Sam. I saw him yesterday; he’s in one of the stalls.” Tony hesitates, but he figures Hurrell would rather know the truth than be lied to, however kind the lie. “He’s not doing too good, but he’s still alive.”

“Shit.” Hurrell buries his face in his hands. “I’ve never lost it like that in the pit before. I can’t channel it and control it like Gibbs. I’ve never given into it like that. That poor bastard; none of this was his fault. He just got caught in the fallout.”

“It’s not your fault either, Sam.”

“Yes, it is.” Hurrell looks him full on, squaring his shoulders. “It is, Tony. I let myself down out there. And…I guess…this is my own struggle and my own two wolves.” He gives a wry little smile. “I love Jan, Tony, but I’ve always known I’m weaker than her. She’s one hell of a strong woman – to be honest, I’ve always wondered what she saw in me.”

“She loves you, Sam,” Tony says gently.

“I know. But even back when we were first married, I wondered what this amazing woman was doing with me. I know myself, Tony. I know my own weaknesses. Jan’s like Gibbs – I recognized that in him the minute I first met him, and that’s why he pisses me off so much, I think. They both have this sense of themselves, this certainty. Whatever happens to them, no matter how much they go through, they never lose that. And I’m not like that.”

He rests his chin on his hands and looks across the gym sadly.

“Most of us aren’t, Sam.” Tony sighs. “Jan and Gibbs – they’re the special ones. There aren’t many like that out there. I saw it in her too. She never gave up on you; she’s been fighting tooth and nail to find you.”

“And meanwhile, I’m sleeping with random guys because I can’t face being alone at night. I want to be held, Tony, even if it’s only for a short time, and by some guy I barely know, because it makes me feel a bit less lonely.”

“Look, I’m hardly anyone’s idea of a relationship counsellor with my fucked up track record, but Jan loves you for who you are, Sam. She knows you’re doing whatever you can just to get by, so you can go home to her. She’d be glad you’re doing that because it means that one day she’ll get you back.”

“Maybe.” Hurrell sounds unconvinced.

“No maybe about it.” Tony gives Hurrell’s shoulder a firm pat. “Jan’s a pragmatist – like Gibbs. If sleeping with the guys in here keeps you sane and helps you survive, then she won’t judge you for it.”

Hurrell gives a slow, thoughtful nod. “We tried for kids for years,” he says quietly, staring off into space. “She miscarried so many times, but it never broke her. I think it broke me a little, but it never broke her, despite all she went through. We gave up a couple of years ago – it was just too painful – but Jan being Jan, she made the best of it and went out and bought some puppies. Those dogs are like her kids now.”

He turns to look at Tony. “Tell me about her, Tony. Tell me everything. How she looked, what she was wearing. How is she holding up? What did she say about me? And how are the dogs? I want to hear it all, even if it hurts. I don’t want to go out into that pit tomorrow knowing I didn’t ask you because I was too much of a coward.”

Tony puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, and then he tells Hurrell every single thing he can remember about his wife.

Later that night he leans in close, rests his chin on Gibbs’s shoulder, and reaches down towards his cock without asking, for the first time. Gibbs isn’t even hard, but his cock springs to life under Tony’s fingers. He takes his time with it, giving the best damn hand job he can, and soon Gibbs is panting, his skin damp with sweat as he thrusts into Tony’s hand.

“What the hell was that about?” Gibbs asks when he’s done.

“Fight Night,” Tony replies. “You’re going into the pit tomorrow, Gibbs. Who knows what’ll happen?”

“I do.” Gibbs turns over to look at him, his eyes gleaming fiercely. “I’ll fight someone, win, and come back again. That’s what’ll happen, Tony. That’s what always happens.”

“Are you sure you’ll win?”

“Yes.” It’s said in a firm, flat tone. “I’ll win.”

“Because you refuse to lose?”

“Yes.”

“Is it really that simple?”

“No, it’s damn well hard, but it is what will happen.”

Tony’s known Gibbs for ten years now, and he has no reason to doubt that Gibbs is right. He’d definitely never bet against him.

All the same, the tension in the air around them is electric. Along the hallway he can hear Greg and Matt fucking like there’s no tomorrow. And someone else is sobbing into his pillow in another stall; he thinks it might be Sam, but maybe it’s Stuart. It’s hard to tell. How does anyone stand this kind of tension, week in, week out? It’s a living hell, and only the strongest survive.

Tony puts his hand on Gibbs’s hip and nestles in, wanting to be as close to the man as possible, because who knows what tomorrow will bring?

~*~


Fight Night. They call it that because it’s always dark when they’re made to fight out there in the pit, even though in the artificial environment of the stable, it’s day to them.

Gibbs wakes up with the usual pre-fight jitters in his belly. He can handle them. He’s fought in wars and taken down suspects in his job. He’s used to handling his own adrenaline. Most of the other fighters don’t have that kind of experience and it affects them much more.

It’s the usual jittery atmosphere as they are herded along to the showers. Tony is talking to him, cracking jokes, and Gibbs tries to tune him out. He needs to get into his fighting headspace, but it’s harder than usual. He feels more relaxed, his shoulders loose and open, and, thanks to Tony, he’s got to know these guys in the showers with him. He knows their names and the jobs they used to do. He’s seen a glimpse of their hopes and fears, and Christ, he even knows their favourite pizza toppings. It’s hard not to care about their fate in the pit today. It’s hard to block out their anxiety and their nerves and get into the headspace he needs to be in for fighting.

He’s also worried about Tony. Which guard will stay behind to keep an eye on Tony and the other fighter – the injured one Tony saw yesterday? If it’s McGuire, it’ll be okay. But if it’s Ellis…Gibbs doesn’t trust Ellis. The man has a vicious, bullying streak, and there’s no love lost between him and Gibbs.

Gibbs can still remember how it felt to be chained up while Ellis whipped him until he bled – and enjoyed it. Ellis doesn’t like him because of his slow, insolent responses to every order they give him, and he’s frustrated because he doesn’t get to whip him anymore, either, now that he’s so successful in the pit. Ellis wouldn’t last five minutes in the pit with him, and he knows it. That’s why he wants to assert his superiority over Gibbs all the time, to prove that he’s the better, stronger, harder man, even though they both know it isn’t true.

After breakfast, they’re herded into the big, hangar-sized room where the truck is waiting for them.

“Good luck,” Tony whispers in his ear as McGuire attaches the travelling chains to his wrists and ankles. Then he’s shoved into the truck and chained in place. He can see Tony standing out there, through the open back door of the truck, while the other fighters are chained up around him.

Then only Tony is left. The guards who are accompanying them to Fight Night jump into the back of the truck…and Ellis isn’t among them. Gibbs cranes his head, and his heart sinks as he sees Ellis standing beside Tony with a scowl on his face, clearly annoyed to be missing the excitement of Fight Night.

The door is swung shut, and the last Gibbs sees of Tony is him winking and making a thumbs up sign at him with his good hand while Ellis shoves him away with the butt of his gun.

Gibbs closes his eyes and tries to block out his anxiety. He will come back. There is absolutely no question about that. He just hopes that while he’s gone Ellis doesn’t do anything to hurt Tony because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if that happens.

The drive to the venue isn’t as long this week. They get there early, in time to see some of Walid’s workmen as they finish setting up the bleachers, temporary toilets, vending areas, and all the other paraphernalia that goes with Fight Night.

It’s raining, but that’s not important; Fight Night has never been cancelled, no matter what the weather.

They’re herded into the usual holding pen, and Gibbs puts his head back and catches the rainwater in his mouth like a child. It’s the only time he gets to be outside, to breathe fresh air and feel the wind on his face, and he relishes it, even if it is pouring with rain.

The crowd starts to arrive. Some come in chauffeured limousines while others show up on the backs of Harleys. Gibbs wonders how Walid found these people and what kind of an underground communication network must exist to spread the word of where the fights will be held each week. They are often at different venues, but always on a big patch of open ground. He suspects the grounds are private – belonging to Walid and some of the other wealthy players who own stables and field fighters. Maybe they take it in turns to be the host for the night’s entertainment.

One thing Gibbs does know is that the fights are popular; the bleachers are always packed. These people love this cruel sport and show up week after week to enjoy the obscene spectacle of kidnapped men fighting for their lives out in the pit.

Gibbs tries to get into his pre-fight headspace, but every time he closes his eyes he finds himself wondering what’s happening to Tony back at the stable. He’s never known Ellis to show any interest in the fighters sexually, but the man does love his whip, and he has Tony’s life in his hands right now.

“Damn it!” Gibbs opens his eyes, unable to concentrate.

“Problem?” Hurrell asks, coming over to sit beside him.

“Tony. You think he’s okay?”

Hurrell looks surprised by the question. “He’s an NCIS agent. I’m a Marine. You’re a Marine *and* an NCIS agent. He’s as okay as you or me.”

“So not very,” Gibbs grunts.

“None of us is safe. You know that. We all live on a knife’s edge. This time last week Steve was alive, and I never saw his death coming.”

“Not helping,” Gibbs grinds out.

“Sorry. Tony will be fine. He looks like the kind of man who has nine lives.”

“Yeah.” Gibbs nods, remembering dozens of dangerous situations that Tony somehow emerged from unscathed. “Hell, he once had the plague, and there was just a fifteen per cent chance of survival, but he made it.”

“There you go then. And if anyone can talk his way out of a difficult situation, it’s him.” Hurrell grins. “Bet it’s been fun having him around at NCIS all these years.”

Gibbs has a sudden flash of a dozen different memories at once, all jumbled up and out of sequence; Tony laughing, pouting, and dancing around in the squad room; Tony lying on a hospital bed, covered in sweat, coughing up his guts; Tony making that little squeaking sound he likes to make when Gibbs slaps the back of his head; Tony standing on his desk, addressing the entire room, being an idiot; Tony with a beaten up face, still making jokes despite that; Tony slapping a pair of handcuffs on him when they first met; Tony behind bars; Tony bringing him his favourite USMC sweatshirt after Mike died; Tony hugging him after his return from Mexico; Tony doing movie star impressions at various crime scenes; Tony eating steak off a combat knife in front of the fire in his living room….

“Yeah,” he says, smiling softly. “I guess it has.”

His belly tightens again. He doesn’t like this. He’s never gone through a Fight Night with anyone but himself to worry about before.

A massive limousine draws up nearby, and a man in an expensively tailored suit gets out. He’s wearing sunglasses, even though it’s the middle of the night, and Gibbs realises that it’s Prince Walid.

Walid walks over to the holding pens, a lackey accompanying him to hold an umbrella over his head. He stops by their pen and peers inside; his gaze falls on Gibbs, and he smiles.

“Get him out. I want to talk to him,” he says to McGuire.

McGuire hesitates because he’s one of Scott’s guards, and these are Scott’s fighters, but everyone knows Walid runs this whole operation, so he’s clearly not sure what to do.

Walid gives him a politely threatening smile, and McGuire gives in and opens the holding pen. Gibbs is hauled out and shoved over to stand in front of Walid. It’s the closest they’ve ever been to each other, and Walid gives Gibbs a slow, searching look, up and down. Gibbs copies him insolently, studying Walid as openly as he’s being studied.

Walid is every inch the bastard that Tony described to him. Every single thing about him is expensive, from his exquisitely tailored suit, to his watch, and his white shoes with black laces. He’s got some black and white theme going on, with a black shirt and a white tie, and his hair looks freshly blow-dried, not one single strand out of place.

“Wolfman – we meet at last,” Walid says smoothly. “I must congratulate your trainer. You’re looking in excellent condition.”

“So are you. Who do I need to congratulate for that?” Gibbs flips back.

Walid gives a little laugh that doesn’t sound in the least amused. “Ah, I heard you were a man of few words, but it appears that you have a sense of humour. How interesting.”

Walid reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a gold-plated whisky flask, and hands it to him. “Would you like a drink, Wolfman?”

McGuire shifts nervously, and Walid waves a hand in the air. “Oh, please! As if I’d stoop to drugging the fighter of a rival competitor – even if this particular fighter is the main threat to my own champion winning the tournament.”

He smiles at Gibbs, and Gibbs’s gut rings out all kinds of warning bells. This man is as dangerous as a deadly snake, but Gibbs is sure that he hasn’t put poison in the flask. Walid takes this competition extremely seriously, and he would never be caught cheating in such an obvious way. The flask is safe.

Gibbs takes it and swills back a mouthful of the finest, smoothest bourbon. He glances at the flask in surprise.

“Ah, yes, I know your tastes. I have taken the trouble to find out everything there is to know about you, Jethro.”

Gibbs stiffens; Scott has never called him that. Like everyone else, he assumed Gibbs went by his first name, not his second. It would appear that Walid *has* done his research.

“I should thank you. Last Fight Night was our most exciting to date. People have been talking about it all week.” Walid inclines his head. “I am expecting a particularly big turnout this evening as a result. You’ve become the star attraction, Wolfman!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Gibbs can see Scott’s gleaming white limo pulling up some distance away.

“And that’s good for business,” Walid continues. “It doesn’t matter whose stable you belong to, as long as you entertain us in the pit – and you do, Wolfman.”

“Yeah, it’s my main aim, every time I step out there. Entertaining you.” Gibbs injects as much withering sarcasm as he can into every single word.

Walid laughs. “Ah, now I understand what Tony sees in you! I did wonder. Such a stern-faced, angry-looking man…I asked myself – why would Tony DiNozzo risk everything for his boss the way he did?”

“And I asked myself – why would you let Tony DiNozzo end up in Scott’s stable with me, knowing that we’re both federal agents? Surely having us together and outside your control makes us dangerous?”

Walid shrugs. “That’s the game. It’s how it’s played. The loser goes to the winner’s stable. I made those rules, so I cannot be seen to break them.”

“You made me fight twice last week – that isn’t in the rules, either,” Gibbs points out.

Walid shakes his head. “Actually, there is nothing in the rules about that. Sometimes fighters have been required to fight more than once – in our early years, when we did not have as many fighters as we do now, it was common for a fighter to go into the pit two or three times a night. As long as the fighter’s owner is in agreement, then it is acceptable. There are little areas where we may be flexible – such as allowing you to watch Mac fighting last week – but in the fundamentals of how the game is played, then no. We must all stick to the rules. You beat Tony in the pit, so he became Scott’s property.”

“Hell of a risk.”

Walid shrugs. “I like taking risks. It was a gamble, yes, but one I relished!”

That doesn’t surprise Gibbs; most of the people involved in this tournament seem to have a gambling problem.

“I didn’t know what would happen when I put Tony in the pit with you; that’s what made it so exciting.” Walid smiles. “It could have thrown you – or you could have decided to lose the fight, rather than subject him to rape. But you didn’t. You’re a tougher opponent than I expected, Jethro, and that pleases me. I get easily bored. It made the game more interesting to me.”

Gibbs glaces over to see Scott getting out of his car, wearing his usual crumpled cream suit and black lariat tie. He straightens up, looks over, and frowns when he sees Walid talking to Gibbs. He starts striding towards them.

“Having established that you are a worthy opponent, I have been wondering what your next move will be,” Walid says.

“My move?” Gibbs glares at him. What the hell kind of move can he make when these people control his entire life?

“Oh yes. I’m sure you have one. Maybe Tony has inspired you. As you said, you are both federal agents. You’ve been his boss at NCIS for ten years; maybe you’ve cooked up some plan together.”

Gibbs gives a quick, furtive look to see if Scott is close enough to have heard that, but he’s still some distance away.

Walid laughs. “My, you are looking anxious, Jethro! Is that because you’ve deceived your owner? Is it possible that poor Mr Scott doesn’t know who Tony really is? Does he believe that his name is Tony DiNardo and not DiNozzo, and that you never met him before last Fight Night?” Walid asks, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “I have my spies everywhere, you see, Jethro.”

He removes his sunglasses, and Gibbs finds himself looking into a pair of cold, dark eyes. Walid leans in close and speaks directly into his ear.

“I expect you thought that if he knew the truth, Mr Scott might keep you and Tony apart, or keep a special eye on you both,” Walid murmurs accurately. “You’re probably right. I always make sure I know every single thing about the fighters in my stable, but Mr Scott’s research is not nearly as thorough as my own. He has no idea who Tony really is, does he?”

Walid draws back, his cold eyes gleaming with amusement.

“You should consider your next move, Jethro, because I know what mine will be,” he says softly. Then, in a louder voice: “Enjoy yourself in the pit, Wolfman; I look forward to watching you entertain us all again tonight!” He turns, replacing his sunglasses as he goes, and greets Scott. “James! My dear friend! I was looking for you.”

“Looks like you found Leroy instead,” Scott says, looking confused.

“I was just wishing him well in the pit. He’s such a fantastic competitor, a great ambassador for our little tournament. Now, I’ve been thinking, James.” He puts an arm around Scott’s shoulders. “Why don’t you come and sit with me tonight, hmm? Now you’re a major player, and the owner of one of the main contenders, I think you should have the recognition you deserve.”

Scott beams, his entire body quivering with pride.

“I would be delighted, your Highness. Oh, really, this is wonderful, such an honour…goodness me…!”

“Not at all, not at all.” Walid glances back over his shoulder at Gibbs. “It will give us time for a little chat, my dear James. You see, there is something very particular that I want to tell you.”

Gibbs watches them go, his stomach twisting into knots. He has no doubt that Walid will tell Scott that they lied to him. What he doesn’t know is how Scott will respond to that knowledge.

Tony is on his own and vulnerable back at the stable. Ellis might not have a cell phone, but Gibbs is sure Scott has a way of getting a message to the stable. All it would take is for Scott to give the order, and when Gibbs gets back he could find Tony lying in his stall with a bullet hole in his head.

~*~

End of Part Nine
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Part Ten
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on Jun. 8th, 2011 06:53 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bemus-ed.livejournal.com
Great installment- but now I'm really worried about Tony! I'm pretty much blown away by this, it's utterly absorbing.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm so pleased people are getting so involved in it!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 06:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] leodragon1.livejournal.com
That bastard. Playing games with people's lives and enjoying it. I want to PUNCH him.

I love the way Tony is with Gibbs. It's one of those relationships that you can see is a perfect match. I love that Tony makes him care again, but I'm also worried that Tony makes him care again. What is Scott going to do? Aaargh.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:02 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
He IS a bastard! LOL to punching him!

And yes - totally with Tony and Gibbs being a perfect match. That's what I love about them so much!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kathana-grey.livejournal.com
People like Walid... I'd say are great fiction but alas, I met smaller versions in RL. That makes your fic so heart wretching to read. People with too much money but no purpose, a taste for power but what they really want is out of reach (due to either lack of talent or, like in Walids case, not being the heir) so they turn to asserting themselves as much as they can to stroke their own ego. *shudders* Your Walid just has the riches and the clout to do it in a big way.

I think one of the sentences (about the guard) applies to all those sick fuckers in your fic: they know that they would not last five minutes in the pit and they dehumanize the captives in order to reestablish their own sense of superiority. But on a level they would love to be as (falsely) primal and free to rut and bite and fight as the men. Sick combination of attraction/repulsion.

I wonder how the guards and trainers can sleep at night? Kiss their kids, their wife if they know that in some pit the corpse of another family father is rotting because they shot him in the head? I hape and pray that they all get publicly crucified at the end, huge scandal that makes it impossible for anyone of them to ever show their ugly mugs in the street without someone throwing eggs at them. Hell, I want them all in a big cage forever!

Unfortunately, and I know I am a cynic, I bet that it all be covered up because, even if people in power weren't involved, the shame of admiting that somehting like that, in such a huge way and over such a long period of time has happened would be too uncomfortable.

Doesn't mean that I want to see them mauled by a furious Gibbs with Tony helping. Don't they know that a wolf will fight so much harder and be much mire viscious with his mate by his side and his pack in the background than a lone wolf would? Be afraid, you fuckers, be very afraid!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:49 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Yeah - I think there are a lot of people in RL who, if they had the money and power, WOULD totally abuse it like Walid.

And yes - I'm so glad you mentioned that bit about Ellis establishing his sense of superiority when really, inside, he knows he's not a fraction of the man Gibbs is - and he hates Gibbs because of it.

As for the cover up...hmmm...we know Tony has gone to Fornell. I wonder if he's the type to allow something like this to be covered up?

And LOL to them being mauled by a furious Gibbs! Yup, I think that's what we all want! And yes - now Gibbs has a mate by his side...well, he's going to be especially dangerous now!

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on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:22 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] audrey2419.livejournal.com
I couldn't sleep, so I got to read this as soon as you posted it. Yet another great chapter! I'm still recovering from my elbow surgery, and your story has been the best distraction for men so thanks!

Tony is slowly pulling Gibbs back from the dark side, but his work is definitely cut out for him. I suspect that after Walid's little revelation Scott will realize that the key to keeping Gibbs angry will be to torture Tony in some fashion. I'm worried for poor Tony, but I'm sure he's going to find some way to save the day. (I love competent, brave, smart Tony!)

I can hardly wait for tomorrow's update!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:50 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Sorry you couldn't sleep but I am SO glad the story is a good distraction for you after your surgery!

I love competent, brave, smart Tony too! It was a joy to write him in this story!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:36 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] clucksy.livejournal.com
Nyahhhhhh - Tony! I'm so scared for him. but also for Sam and what are they gonna make Gibbs do next?

Ellis could do any number of things to Tony that leave no mark for Gibbs to see.

I love the way Tony has pulled Gibbs out of himself - but does that make him more vulnerable? So exciting.

You are right Tony is awesome-cakes in this fic.

How's it gonna end?

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:51 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Ooh - love what you said about Ellis leaving no mark! What happens is not anything anyone will guess, I'm sure...but there's a line in the fic that is like you've read ahead! LOL!

Yes! Awesome-cakes! I love Tony so much in this one!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 08:32 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lin71.livejournal.com
I adore Tony in this one. He’s the human factor in a stable of men slowly turning into animals it seems. It’s a blessing and a weakness for them though, I think. Because hanging on to the human side of things makes them realize all the more what a fucked up situation they’re in and how much of themselves they’re losing.

His talk with Hurrell was a great way of showing that and I love how Tony told him that Jan would understand he just did what he needed to do to survive.

And I love how Gibbs told Frank he needs Tony around if they want him to get good results during training. Being the best does have some advantages, even though there really aren’t many there.
Tony taking care of Gibbs’ need at night really does mean more for both than they are willing to speak of yet, doesn’t it? And the massage was even more proof of that I’d say.

Awesome chapter!


on Jun. 8th, 2011 09:34 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com
Thank you! I love Tony in this story too. He really is so bright and shiny. He hasn't been ground down by it yet - and he can be strong for Gibbs.

I loved doing the massage - it was my little homage to my X Files story "Subterfuge" *g*.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 09:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] silvertales.livejournal.com
I know I haven't commented until now, and I usually comment on each segment. It's been a really, really rough few weeks for me lately, so I wasn't sure if I'd be up to reading this fic right now, and it does contain some triggers for me, but I felt I couldn't not respond to your gift of giving us fic by not reading and commenting. So, that said...

I adore the smart, competent, determined Tony you've given us in this fic (in all your fics, really) but, in this one he shines like the very source Gibbs' light wolf feeds from that he is. I fear, now that Tony has managed to reach Gibbs and feed his light wolf, that Gibbs is now far more vulnerable and in far more danger than he's ever been. Now, he has something to lose, someone to worry about, something to distract him... someone to feed the light wolf that, while an asset to Gibbs as a man is dangerous to him as a prize fighter in this dreadful world.

I fear Ellis can now take advantage of a Tony free of Gibbs' watchful and fiercely possessive eye, can now bring his sadism and anger at knowing he's no match for Gibbs, to bear. Because, I definitely get the impression that Ellis, and men like him, are the kind that relish having any power over those stronger than them, simply by virtue of being in the right place at the right time, and abuse it because they can. It is unfortunate, that there are truly people like this (and Walid and Scott, and those others who allow themselves to feed off the rising bloodlust and suffering of the desperate) in the world.

Also curious to see just how Tony and Gibbs end up reconciling their actual feelings to each other. Tony has made far more of his real feelings known to Gibbs already, than maybe he'd be ready to admit to if Gibbs was clear-headed enough to really understand, and call him on it. While Gibbs... is clearly finally coming to a realization about the way he's always felt for Tony, but now it's wrapped up in so much guilt and shame, it feels like he doesn't think it is, or even can be, real in a softer, more forgiving environment.

Anyway... just my rambly commentary. I'm REALLY going to need some happy after this fic.... :)

on Jun. 8th, 2011 09:45 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com
Hi hon,

I'm so sorry you've had a rough few weeks *hugs*. I knew this fic would be too dark for some when I started posting it. Conversely, I'm actually really proud of it! I really did think my writing brain had packed up and was gone forever and didn't write anything of substance for several months. So I was thrilled to produce something as fast paced and plotty as this :-).

There might be threats all around them, but please know that I'd never take Tony and Gibbs down a path too dark for us to follow. Their relationship is the light that shines in that dark, and makes it all worthwhile. I get the feeling as I read the fb that people are reacting more to their fear of what might happen than what is actually going on - although that is bad enough, obviously!

I loved the Tony in this story too - he really is so incredibly bright and shiny here, how I want him to be on the show but he so rarely has been of late, although we've seen signs that might be coming back.

And yes, they are so close now to having a very long overdue conversation about the feelings they have for each other. I think it took this degree of pressure to make them finally get close to fessing up!

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on Jun. 8th, 2011 09:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chaoskir.livejournal.com
Gosh!!! I'm so worried about them. About all the fighters and especially about Tony with Ellis and Gibbs in the pits. Well if I'll survive untill tomorrow I might be able to read the updates in the evening. I'm not sure I can do it so early as luke I did it today. I hope the guys and I will survive. It's a whole lot yuo give your readers to feel here and it's great and very intense.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 09:46 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com
Thank you :-) It is very intense but hang on in there! LOL! Tony and Gibbs will see it through!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 12:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ferneberga.livejournal.com
Can I say each section gets better? Stupid question I know because the answer is resolutely yes.

Been sniffling through these last 2 sections - but then I knew kleenex would be needed with this story from the start.

Ellis is the classic bully, brave when armed or in a group but a wimp when unarmed and on his own, begging for mercy before he's hit.

Walid is the classic superficial excessively richman who needs extreme situations to produce any impact on his permanent ennui with life and himself. Getting hurt would only faze him if his expensive lifestyle were affected in anyway. He really is a cold fish, but then Gibbs knows that too.

Tony left with Ellis not nice, but he's a survivor because he always has to have the last word whatever the situation - fury and anger don't dominate him like Gibbs, he's more wily. The true court jester, the one who makes people laugh while telling them hometruths because they can't see behind the smoke and mirrors, except for the odd few like Gibbs and Hurrell's wife. I think even Walid underestimates him, which gives him an advantage albeit slight; besides Tony's at his best when all the odds are stacked against him like now. So despite that nasty cliffy, and the fact I shall be on tenterhooks until I read what happens I'm confident in Tony's ability to come up trumps albeit a little battered, just so he can stick his tongue out at the baddies and make Gibbs smile.

And I'll finish before I ramble more. This is definitely your best story to date, you excel yourself with each new story.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com
Thank you! I honestly do think it's my best story to date (although conversely the one getting the least fb! LOL! Although I note that's a feature all over LJ and in the fandom right now - I've never posted a long story during the summer months before but it IS noticeably quieter!). Having said that, it's lovely to share it with those, like yourself, who are *really* enjoying the ride :-).

What I'm most proud of is the complexity of the plotting, the fast pacing, and the exploration of the themes. It's really given me confidence to produce something like this and I'm thinking it might finally be time to write that OC novel that's in my head!

I love all your insights into both the heroes and villains :-). I think you are completely right about Tony and I can guarantee that what happens next is not what anyone will be expecting *g*.

I think Walid's big mistake is not just underestimating Tony but underestimating the effect Tony has on Gibbs - it's when they work together that they become dynamite!

Thanks for your great feedback!



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on Jun. 8th, 2011 12:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] onlyonechoice.livejournal.com
Still enjoying the ride here - I think my favorite bit so far has been the idea of comparing Tony to the fighters' equivalent of TV, a bit of entertainment in their lives. *grins* That's our Tony.

Your above comment to Kath is what I was thinking too - don't make Gibbs angry, or underestimate what Gibbs will do if he thinks Tony's being hurt.

Looking forward to tomorrow's read!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:28 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you :-)

And yes, an angry Gibbs is one to be reckoned with but a *protective* Gibbs, with someone he LOVES to protect...well that will change the entire ball game I think *g*.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kathana-grey.livejournal.com
Just read the nine chapters for a third time. I agree with ferneberga, this might be your best fic yet (with hopefully many more to come ^^) even if Damage will always hold a special place in my heart.

You manage to show us a lot of ... layers? Things and character traits come to the surface due to the extreme situation, things which are normally hidden away. It is fascinating to see how Gibbs is kind of addicted to the fighting, like it is the first time in his life when he can live all his darker impulses to the max; all his need to punish himself, to lose himself in the physicality because he tried and there is no way out. The situation gives him the excuse to let his dark wolf play while he can rationalize it all away.

And there really does not seem to be an out from the inside with the setup Tony encounters (and Gibbs has tested) and no rescue from the outside. And here is where I see Tony and his strenght come into play because he did not lie during Truth and Consequenses. He is the wild card, the one who looks at reality and refuses to accept it. Tony is the one who seems weaker during everyday life but during stress he is a catalyst. You can beat him, you can bend im but it is very unlikely that you can break him (because people nearly never GET him) and that is something he has that Gibbs has not. People look at Gibbs and are fascinated because they see the wolf. And they fear the wolf for his nature. People look at Tony and are fascinated because they don't know why he fascinates them beyond his good looks. Walid reacts to him, Scott feels drawn to him and that might just give them the small chance at escape they need.

I have to admit that I'm not too keen on reading pit scenes and that I skipped over some descriptions the first place. When I read it again and really read it it wasn't as bad as I imagined. It's just that I fill in the missing details in my head and all that human misery is hard to bear. It makes me so angry at the spectators and pointed out something that a lot of people totally miss: rape is not about sex. There are the same organs active, some of the same chemical processes in the brain but when it comes down to it it is purely about power. Who takes it away and who has none of it to prevent something that should be shared, not forced. I don't believe it is the case for Fireman, but most of the winning fighters are as much victims of rape (by Walid, by the spectators) as the ones they violate. One reason why I think that your assesment that there will be no partner betrayal even if Gibbs wins and has to fuck is accurate. (did I read that right?)

It will be interesting to see if Gibbs manages to make his light wolf just as dangerous as his dark one to win a fight. He seems to be struggling at the moment and seems to think that dominace by the light means weaker. I want to believe that it is not weaker, or less effective when fighting, just fuelled by different things than the dark one. It will be also interesting to see what Scott will do. If he harms/kills Tony he might lose his chance to win because Gibbs might rather throw a fight than give anything to Scott. In fact, I think Gibbs has more cards in his hands than he thinks ...

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Wow - three times?! LOL! Thank you so much for this long, considered feedback and discussion. It's just SO interesting! I love that this story has provoked this level of discussion. And yes, I honestly do think this is my best so I'm really happy to hear you guys say so too!

I wanted to show the guys under strain - the good AND the bad. Gibbs DOES have a dark side - we've seen it on the show. What happens when only his dark side gets fed? And Tony...he's very brave, but he's prone to making these big, self-sacrificing moves (Twilight, Requiem, ToC) and...then what? He relies on the force of his equally big personality to see him through but has he bitten off too much here?

I think a lot of people think bits are worse than they actually were *g*. Not only that, but they imagine what's coming might be worse than it is - but then I've set things up that way and the necessary warnings are making people scared *g*.

And I really love your comments about the Fireman - I think you've hit on why he's different to the others. Re Partner Betrayal - I meant more that Gibbs won't rape or abuse Tony beyond what he's had to do to protect him. But yes, in terms of him having to go out into the pit - I wouldn't view that as betrayal. See, the rape in the warning is what I view as Gibbs being raped every time he has to fuck someone in the pit. HE is being raped by the people making him do it.

I love your comments about the wolves as they become an incredibly important theme from here on in and THEY were what made me want to write this fic! Not the pit stuff - the idea of exploring those wolves inside Gibbs.

And your last comment is entirely prescient...







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on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] deathjunke.livejournal.com
Well shit. There goes any optomistic feelings I was having!

You've got me nibbling my fingers and pacing. I just can't wait until tomorrow morning. (And I swear Ellis is Walid's spy. They're too alike not to know each other.)

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Yay - finger nibbling and pacing is just what I was going for *g*.

So glad you're enjoying it!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:12 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ruefull.livejournal.com
While absolutely understanding the need for ending where you did, I have to say, as a reader fully invested in this story, that it SUCKS!!!!!! ARrrrghhhHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ahem. Sorry. Had to be said. *g*

My own shoulders are knotted with tension just from reading about all the tension the boys are under! Serioulsy, the tightwire of tension cuts with every word, and I'm not sure my blood pressure can hang in until the 11th! *g*

But I'm loving it, and I'm anxious for more, however masochistic that makes me sound. *g*

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:39 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Sorry *g*. But honestly, looking forward, there weren't many other places that were much better!

I am SO glad the tension works though! That's the main comment I've had from the beginning and I'm delighted because of what that says about my writing :-)

on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:24 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tn-butterfly.livejournal.com
The many faces of Tony is his secret weapon, I love it! Gibbs is still himself, just letting his darker side ride on the surface for now. It's awful to think of such cruel, evil people exist in the world to create such a setting as this. I want to throw them all in the arena too!

Wonder how the rest of the team back home is taking the silence and waiting. With Gibbs gone so long and now Tony taken too, they must all be terribly worried.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:40 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Yes to throwing them all into the arena! They ARE evil!

And we'll find out more about what's gone on back home before TOO long :-)

on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rosebud-26.livejournal.com
EEK!...again!

I am now anxiously awaiting the next installment to find out that Tony is ok.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Sorry *g*.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tdorian.livejournal.com
Great chapters !! Walid is terrifying, one sick man really. i'm really anxious about what awaits for Tony. Because I have this feeling he won't get out off this without a scar or two. :/

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:42 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! And yes...poor Tony. There's definitely some upcoming trauma there...more than one thing actually. I'd say...three *g*

on Jun. 8th, 2011 01:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] karen-jk.livejournal.com
This story will build in popularity over time, Xanthe. I'm sure of it.

I felt so much longing from the massage scene because I'm so like Tony in that way, loving to touch and be touched.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 02:42 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thanks hon!

And yay to massages! I'm rather fond of them myself!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 03:04 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jayfray18.livejournal.com
An ominous ending. But I know you won't kill off Tony, well I hope not lol!

The massage, and the connection between them both at the end of it, was beautiful. A little piece of solace for Gibbs after so long.

Not such a long comment this time I'm afraid hun, but I can't wait for tomorrow - and I get to read it early as I have the day off - woohoo!!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Heh - I definitely wouldn't kill Tony! You know that!

And yay - day off!

Stunning story

on Jun. 8th, 2011 03:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] gosgirl1.livejournal.com
Thanks for sharing this tory - it's an incredible piece of writing and beautifully written. Your characterisatio is flawless... you SO have Gibbs and Tony down to perfection, even in their changed circumstances. Loved the connection between them and the tenderness in the massage scene, and strong loyal Tony trying desperately to keep the Gibbs he knows from disappearing. Your OC are also vividly real. A very intense powerful story and thanks for posting decent chunks at a time... hungry for more!

Re: Stunning story

on Jun. 8th, 2011 03:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm delighted you're enjoying it :-)

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] finlaure.livejournal.com
This story brings out such,,, deep emotions, that I wouldn't be surprised to see other authors plot bunnies start spring up with a vengence. For stories both dark And light.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
I'm really glad it works so well. I don't know about it bringing up plot bunnies for other authors, but I'd love that to be the case :-)

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tingreca.livejournal.com
I'm sure everyone is talking about the threat to Tony, but this is what stood out for me in this chapter. "Tony notices that if he presses too hard then Gibbs’s muscles remain rigid, but if he’s patient, persistent, and gentle, they gradually start to soften." And yeah, Tony, that's all of Gibbs, not just his muscles.

I wish I wasn't having to read this in stolen glances at work. I wish I could be reading it there in your garden with Lady J and Mr. H, right next to you (while you read my sub!gibbs) and then I could exclaim and laugh and cry over it all and tell you about the phrases that jump out or the emotions you make me feel or the funny thing that I can just hear Tony saying or the strength of Gibbs that Tony understands and Gibbs just accepts and the love that these two have for each other.

So, life is the pits, eh?

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you mentioned that line - I wondered if anyone would notice it. It deliberately was designed to fit the theme of what Tony said to Sam earlier :-).

I wish you were here reading with me too - it'd be great fun.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:47 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] karen-jk.livejournal.com
The story with Tony breaking up the fight reminds me of a story my dad told me about my grandfather. My GF was imprisoned at one point by the communists in Bulgaria. He was put in a cell with some men...all of them were being pressured to admit to various crimes. They were told they'd be let go if they confessed; they may have been tortured as well, but I think the main pressure on them was the fear that if they didn't get out of there anything could happen to them.

My grandfather stayed very calm. He told the other men that they should not confess to anything they had not done, no matter what. That if they did so, their jailors would be able to give them various sentences. My GF was a force of logic and humanity in an atmosphere of fear and dread. The men listened to him and I think all of them were eventually let go because no charges against them could stick.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Holding on to reason and humanity during such awful times is very hard I think. It's great your GF managed to do just that :-).

GetYourOwnGibbs Comments

on Jun. 8th, 2011 04:56 pm (UTC)
Posted by (Anonymous)
I agree that the story's popularity will build. Some people will read it when it is all posted. And word will get around. It is a fantabulous story!

Like someone else who commented, I am knotted with tension from installment to installment. I think that those of us who are following this in real time need to get a t-shirt that says something like: I survived reading Xanthe's Two Wolves BEFORE it was fully posted. Hmph.

I keep dreading that Gibbs will finally get raped by another fighter, and maybe he will, but today reading the comments it struck me that (as people have pointed out), Gibbs is raped every time he has to fuck another man by force in the pit. That is a good insight. I was thinking of it this way: He thinks he is in control but it is silently killing him. The thought of a two way rape is putting it more clearly.

This inner battle between the two wolves has me thinking about that Star Trek episode called Enemy Within. Kirk's dark and light sides separated out by transporter malfunction. What I liked about that episode is the exploration of how both sides have their strengths and he needs both in balance to be the man he is. He hates what he sees about himself, but he has to find a way to hold them both together. It's one of my top five favorite episodes.

I love love love the way you've crafted this story. It is so complex and real. When it's all done, I'll rest for a bit and then I'll read it again with a bit less tension.

In the meantime, about that t-shirt...

Re: GetYourOwnGibbs Comments

on Jun. 8th, 2011 05:04 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Oh I LOVE the idea of that tee shirt! It's so great sharing the day to day posting experience with you guys - it feels like we're a little club with people reading and commenting on others' comments. The level of insights here has blown me away -such thoughtful discussions and comments!

And I'm glad there's some understanding now that Gibbs is being raped everytime he has to fuck in the pits. I didn't want to make a big deal of it as it all comes up later in the fic. But both participants are being raped by the men making them do this. Gibbs is as much a victim as the losing fighter.

YES - squee to that ST ep! I discussed this with a friend recently! And yes yes yes to the balance. That's what this story is all about :-). Wow - you guys are really good at *getting* this stuff!

And thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I love discussing the story with you. Even more so at the end when I won't have to zip my lips to stop myself spoiling what's coming up! LOL! Then we can have a PROPER talk about it! LOL! I keep wanting to bounce up and down and go "YES - and remember that bit..." but then have to stop myself because I haven't posted that bit yet *g*.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tibbslover.livejournal.com
I don't like it. I don't like the sound of that. It's like Walid is trying to get so far in Gibbs' head that he loses his fight.

It's unnerving. And now I have tot wait until tomorrow to read the fourth chapter.

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
That's precisely what Walid is trying to do! Question is whether he succeeds...

on Jun. 8th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] katekintail.livejournal.com
Okay, so I'm an idiot. I read the first section up to the break of part 7 during then I read all of part 9 after the break. I was going to comment that a week went by REALLY fast, then I realized my mistake. Wow. Reading it in order makes the whole part about the stolen oil make a whole lot more sense *facepalm* But that's okay. Embarrassment over. More to read during my lunch break!

Gibbs looks down, struggling as unexpected emotions surface, making a lump rise in his throat.
“Gibbs, you didn’t think we’d forgotten about you, did you?”

Breaks my heart, this! Awwww, Gibbs! *hugs*

Gibbs takes hold of his pillow and buries his teeth in it, stifling the scream of helpless, frustrated rage.
And, once again, breaks my heart. Having to look out for Tony and deal with all these additional complications and risks... and I thought Gibbs was screwed up before; he's going to be paranoid now.

Tony realizes that the poor bastard is trying to jerk off – quietly, so as not to wake him. He can only guess how humiliating this must be for Gibbs. He’s such a proud, private man; this must be its own special kind of torture for him.
This is so hot and nightmarish all at once. Guh. I think it's my favorite part of the whole thing so far *G* I loved the intimacy and tenderness on top of the urgency/need and bringing trust back into things. Tony uses it to help Gibbs get a little closer to tame!Gibbs. I like that Tony is realistic about it, though. He knows Gibbs is connecting to him because Tony is a connection to his old life. What a horrible place, that fucks you up physically and emotionally, no safety or privacy... building some sort of connection with someone seems like the only thing you can do to have something of your own... but it comes at a price, as Sam found out.

“They haven’t broken him, Tony,” Hurrell tells him. “Trust me – I’ve seen men they’ve broken, and they’re useless. Gibbs isn’t like that....”
It's a different kind of broken. It's a conversion. Gibbs knows too well what he has to do to survive and he plays the game because he's practically made for the game.

Why did Tony do that, especially after he fucked him in the pit? How can Tony not hate him, at least on some level, right now?
Because he loves you, ya big doofus! And he cares about you more than he cares about himself. Silly Gibbs boy.

Gibbs rolls his eyes. Tony knows his pizza order all too well from various late nights at the office working cases over the years. “Lucky guess,” he says, deadpan, and Tony bursts out laughing.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! You couldn't see me, but I totally did fist pumps in the air during these scenes where Gibbs smiles and even laughs and Tony is like television to the masses in there :-)

And just when I thought there were all the villains I could take in this story, in walks Ellis, hurting Tony, firing Gibbs up.

“If it was so damn tough, and you could have done so damn well without me, sunning yourself in Rota, looking at all the pretty girls in bikinis on the beach; why the hell stay in DC with this ‘damn difficult bastard’?”
“Why the hell do you think?”
“I don’t know!” Gibbs yells, exasperated.

Once again, all together now: "BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!" Someone needs to slap the back of HIS head methinks.

I loved the massage- the intimacy of getting to know Gibbs' body, even though the guy's been walking around naked. You make the differences very recognizable.

I love how Tony defused and addressed the situation with Greg & Matt in part 9 (and the mix of Greg & toppy!Gibbs in part 8).

I'm sooooo worried about Tony. I don't care what you say in comments or what you've proved time and time again in your fics about happy endings. I STILL thought they might be killed in the arena for not giving the crowd what they wanted... and I still fear for Tony's life now. No matter how reassuring that voice of logic in the back of my mind is, your writing is convincing enough to make me worry about Tony and, just as importantly, worry about Gibbs not being in the right headspace when heading off to the fights. It didn't work well for Sam last week and if they're all separatated, it's going to make rescue much harder. And that stupid Walid playing more games. Oohhh I hate him!

on Jun. 8th, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
On noes for skipping part 8! You must have been wondering what was going on!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you quoted me bits from the fic and commented on them! I love it when people do that *g*.

Love that you found that bit hot and nightmarish at the same time - I love creating those kind of conflicting emotions :-). And I totally understand what you mean!

Squee to doing fist pumps! Tony is just making Gibbs's life so much brighter by being so very TONY. Which he kind of does on the show too :-).

ROFL to slapping Gibbs on the back of the head - oh yeah! Big time! Poor baby! But he's getting there!

So glad you mentioned toppy!Gibbs because I loved him wanting to go tear Ellis's head off with his bare hands. That's MY Gibbs *g*.

And aw, you still don't trust me *ggg*. But I DO love that my writing is so convincing that it keeps you worrying - of course there IS a lot to worry about right now!

Thank you again for brilliant feedback!
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