xanthefic | Fic: Soul Deep

Leroy was at the station early to meet Shannon, and he spent an hour pacing up and down the platform. When her train finally arrived, he saw her cloud of red hair floating out of an open window, and her leaning out, waving at him frantically.

His inclination was always to be shy and even less talkative than ever when he first saw her again after even a brief time apart, but she, as usual, wasn’t having any of it. Her daemon, a small but feisty kestrel called Pell, flew around in circles above Tessa’s head, teasing her, until Leroy protested, saying Pell was making them both dizzy. Shannon laughed at him and pulled him down for a kiss, even though he hated doing private stuff like that in public, where people could see.

“Idiot. It’s been a week – that's five whole days since I saw you last. There’s no way I’m not going to kiss you and kiss you!” she told him when he protested. Then she nestled in beside him as they walked back to the store. He carried her suitcase in one hand and put his free arm around her, and it felt like he was whole again.

His father made a fuss of Shannon as usual, but all Leroy wanted to do was get her out into the woods so they could talk and make love. He grabbed a blanket and the basket containing the picnic he’d packed earlier, and then he took hold of her hand and wrenched her away from where she was exchanging pleasantries with his dad.

It was a beautiful day and his knee didn’t hurt as much when he was with her.

“How is it? Is it getting better?” she asked as they walked towards the creek. “It seems better. You’re not limping as much.”

“Because you’re here.” He grinned at her.

“I only ever see you walking on it when I’m here,” she pointed out logically. “And it’s definitely better this weekend than last.”

“I’ve been exercising more. Trying to keep up with Tony has helped.”

“Who's Tony?” she asked as they spread the green and red checked blanket out and sat down on it.

He explained as they ate, and she listened to him, smiling as he talked.

“What?” he asked as he finished. She was giving him a look similar to the one his dad had given him when he’d first told him about Tony.

“Well, firstly, I've never heard you talk for that long before!” She poked his side, and he gave a grudging little laugh. “And secondly, I was just thinking what a good dad you’d make.”

“Oh shit.” He looked over at her. “There’s nothing you want to tell me, is there?”

Now it was her turn to laugh. “Nothing like that, no! I’m just saying – one day. After we’re married.”

“Definitely.” He wanted kids as much as he knew she did. One day. Just not now. “And I don’t exactly view Tony as a son! He’s more like the kid brother I never had. Or a friend.” He frowned as he said that.

“That surprises you, doesn’t it?” Shannon rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand.

“Well yeah. I mean he’s a lot younger than me and…” He shrugged.

“And?” she prompted gently.

“And you know what I’m like. I’ve never exactly been good at making friends. I never know what to say to people. But with Tony it’s easy – for a start he does enough talking for two. And he’s kind of funny. He makes me laugh.”

“I’d like to meet this Tony kid."

“Well you won’t – I told his dad I wasn’t available for babysitting duties this weekend. I want it to be just you and me. We have a lot of catching up to do.” He moved towards her, his eyes fixed on her lips.

“Do we? I wonder what kind of catching up you can mean?” she giggled – and then she closed the distance and kissed him passionately as their lips met.

Pell flew over to Tessa and began gently stroking her with his beak, and Tessa dipped her head to gently nudge him with her nose in return.

Leroy pushed Shannon down onto the blanket and slid on top of her, caressing her through her blouse. He opened a few buttons and nuzzled her breasts through her bra with his mouth. Then he pushed up her skirt, and she moaned as he slipped his fingers into her panties. She opened her legs, pulling him down against her warm, soft body…and then she screamed.

“What the hell…?” Leroy pulled back, startled.

“There’s a kid over there…watching us…” she said, looking shaken. She smoothed her skirt back down, and Leroy turned around angrily – and then sighed as a cockatiel flew over and hovered uncertainly above Tessa’s head.

“Tony – why the hell are you spying on us?”

Tony emerged from behind a tree. “I wasn’t spying!” he said defensively. “I was playing boats in the stream and then you guys came along so I hid.”

“And spied on us!” Leroy growled.

Tony bit on his lip. “I like seeing what people are doing, that's all. My dad says I’m nosy, but my mom said I was just naturally curious. Is that your girl? She’s pretty. Hi, I’m Tony.” He said it all in one continuous stream, not pausing for breath.

“So you’re Tony!” Shannon sat up, buttoning her blouse quickly. She held out her hand, and Tony took it. “Nice to meet you, Tony.”

“And you. Leroy talks about you all the time. He’s got it bad.” Tony stuck out his tongue at Leroy and then hopped out of head-slapping range. Shanti rose up high into the air and flapped her wings around. Pell joined her there, and he and Shanti did a little dance in midair.

“You’re such a little show off,” Leroy muttered.

Tony just grinned at him, and Shanti kept dancing until she lost her bearings and crashed to the ground in a heap of squawking feathers and wounded dignity.

“What are you doing here, Tony?” Leroy asked impatiently. “I told your dad I couldn’t look after you this weekend.”

“I don’t need looking after. I’m not a kid,” Tony said defiantly, despite all evidence to the contrary. Shanti turned into a growling little bear – a shape Leroy hadn’t seen her take before.

“Where’s your dad?” Leroy demanded.

“Working.” Tony gathered the bear in his arms, and she changed into a puppy again.

“On a Saturday?”

“What’s that got to do with anything? The food I eat and my clothes and stuff don’t come out of thin air. He has to damn well work for them.”

Leroy gazed at him, perplexed. “You sound like you’re parroting someone else.” And he could guess who.

Shanti predictably turned into a brightly-coloured parrot and flew over and tugged on one of Tessa’s ears, keeping one eye fixed nervously on Pell the entire time.

Shannon gazed at Shanti and Tessa curiously. Pell soared down from where he was perched on a nearby tree branch, sat on Shannon’s shoulder, and whispered something in her ear. She nodded thoughtfully.

“I’ve never seen Tessa so comfortable with another daemon touching her,” she said. “I mean, apart from Pell. She’s not even that comfortable when Meldra touches her.”

“Tony’s a kid – I like kids,” Leroy muttered.

“I know – but I’ve never seen Tessa let her guard down like this before. I like Tony.” She gazed at the boy approvingly.

“Can I spend the day with you then?” Tony asked cheekily.

“Yes.”

“No.”

Shannon spoke at the same time as him. Leroy glared at her and jerked his head meaningfully at the blanket.

She just laughed at him. “Later – you can sneak into my room tonight,” she said with a wink.

“My dad will hear. You’re a screamer,” he reminded her in a whisper.

“Your dad knows anyway! And he doesn’t mind. He’s got that weird thing about ‘young folks doing what comes naturally’," she reminded him.

Leroy groaned. “Don't. It’s so damn embarrassing.”

“Can I spend the day with you then?” Tony asked.

Leroy knew when he was outnumbered. “Okay,” he agreed reluctantly.

Shanti promptly turned into a puppy and chased her own tail around and around excitedly until she got so dizzy she fell over. Leroy sighed.

Tony joined them on the blanket and immediately stole some of the left-over picnic.

Leroy wondered if his father ever thought to leave him any food – or at least any money for food. For all that DiNozzo liked to flash his money around, Leroy had a suspicion that was just for show; he doubted that Tony saw much of it. It seemed to be very important to DiNozzo that people think him wealthy – which made Leroy suspect that he wasn’t anywhere near as well off as he made out.

Of course, it could also be that the father simply wasn’t used to keeping track of his son’s needs – even those as fundamental as company, supervision, and food. The man looked like he had other things on his mind; this business deal of his certainly seemed to be preoccupying him.

“What kind of a business deal is your father working on, Tony?” Leroy asked curiously.

Tony glanced up, stuffing a sandwich into his mouth at the same time. “I don’t know," he said between mouthfuls. "He's meeting with the man who owns the mine. He said stuff about ‘capital’ and ‘investment’.”

“Right.” Leroy nodded slowly. It sounded as if Tony’s father wanted Frank Winslow to invest his capital in some scheme or other. If so, Leroy suspected he’d be disappointed; Winslow was a hard-nosed businessman and unless the deal DiNozzo was offering was very good indeed, Leroy doubted he’d be interested.

"Does your dad always bring you on his business trips?" Shannon asked curiously.

Tony flushed an interesting shade of bright red, and Shanti turned into a porcupine and curled up into a ball, covering her face. It was so funny that Leroy actually laughed out loud.

"No," Tony admitted. "Only…he can't find anyone to leave me with back home…because…uh…well, I can be kinda…naughty." He gave a charming smile but his eyes were bright with a combination of mischief and guilt. "Babysitters don't stick around long. It was okay when mom was alive 'cause she looked after me when he was away on business, but now…" He trailed off, and Shanti turned into a little field mouse and crept onto his lap. He stroked her gently.

"I was sorry to hear about your mom," Shannon said softly. "Jethro told me she died a few months ago."

"Who's Jethro?" Tony frowned.

Shannon smiled. "It's Leroy's second name. I like to use it as kind of a pet name for him. I think it suits him better than Leroy."

Tony gave a broad grin and turned to Leroy. "Can I call you Jethro?" he asked.

"No," Leroy replied automatically.

"It's just for me and him," Shannon said.

"Like a secret?" Tony looked intrigued. "I have a secret." Then he bit on his lip, looking annoyed with himself, and Shanti, still in mouse form, nipped his finger with her teeth.

"What kind of a secret?" Leroy asked, looking at the boy searchingly.

"Nothing. Mom said to keep it secret, so…it's my secret – mine, and Mom's, and Shanti's."

He clammed up then, and Leroy knew they wouldn't get anything more from him. Tony, it seemed, would happily talk about anything under the sun but when he had a real secret to keep nothing would induce him to talk about it.

They spent a pleasant afternoon in the woods, and then they walked back towards Main Street. Leroy had one hand on Tony's shoulder and was holding Shannon's hand with the other, and he was aware of feeling strangely at peace with himself.

Tony ran over to a nearby tree, and Shannon joined him to peer at the markings on the trunk.

Content, Leroy thought as he watched them.

Tessa looked up at him. "Because you have pack," she said. He looked at her questioningly. "Being a lone wolf is fine, but you need a pack to be truly happy," she explained. "Now you have one." He looked at the two people standing over by the tree in surprise. He had a mate, and…what was Tony to him? Not a cub, or a litter mate, but something nearly as important. "Your second. Always by your side," Tessa said.

Leroy liked that idea. One of the attractions of being a Marine had been acquiring an instant pack, but this was different. This felt more personal somehow and more special. He felt connected to Shannon and Tony in a way that went much deeper.

"But Tony will be leaving soon," he said to Tessa.

She gave a dismissive flick of her head. "So? He will always be pack."

Tony and Shannon returned to the trail and they continued on. They had just reached the edge of the woods when Tessa stiffened, growling softly.

A few seconds later, Chuck Winslow came into view with his coyote daemon trotting along beside him. Chuck was a tall, gangling youth about Leroy's age. He was Frank Winslow's son, and he seemed to think that because his father owned half the town that meant he did too – and the people in it. He and Leroy had been enemies for as long as Leroy could remember.

"Hey, Leroy – you out skulking around in the woods again?" Chuck shouted, an ugly sneer on his face.

"Free country. I can walk where the hell I like, Chuck," Leroy said, gripping Shannon's hand firmly, and tightening his grasp on Tony's shoulder. He was aware of Tony looking up at him with a question in his eyes, and Shanti turning into that little brown bear he'd seen earlier.

Pell came and perched on Shannon's shoulder, looking his usual fierce self.

Leroy could see the irritation in Chuck's eyes as he looked at Shannon. Chuck Winslow got a lot of dates because of who he was, but he didn't seem to be able to hang on to any of the girls he went out with. Shannon had once turned him down, and Chuck had never forgotten that. No Stillwater girl ever turned him down – but Shannon wasn't from Stillwater, and nobody told her what to do – or who to date.

Chuck's coyote daemon slunk over to Tessa and sat down right in front of her – too close – deliberately getting in her space.

"People have been talking about the amount of time you've been spending all alone with that kid," Chuck said. "Do you like hanging out with little kids, Gibbs? Or is he the only person in town who'll be your friend?"

"I'm not little," Tony said fiercely, and Shanti gave a low growl. It made Leroy smile – of course Tony wouldn't take a comment like that without protesting.

"I've been looking after Tony while his father does business with your father," Leroy said calmly.

"That what you been doing? Or maybe you bring the kid into the woods for some other reason?" Chuck said, his mouth twisting upwards in a nasty little smile.

Shannon gripped his hand more tightly. "Leave it, Jethro," she said quietly.

Chuck glanced at her dismissively. "I see your whore is back in town, Gibbs."

"What did you call her?" Leroy felt a familiar red mist rising inside. His father had always chided him about his temper, but that never stopped him getting into fights – and he'd had more fights with Chuck Winslow over the years than anyone else in town.

"Well, I figure she has to be a whore as no girl would sleep with you without getting paid," Chuck said with a leering grin. "Did you have a threesome?" he asked. "You, your whore, and the kid? All alone out in the woods with nobody to see?"

Leroy swung his fist without even thinking and landed a hard blow on Chuck's jaw that sent him flying. At the same time, Tessa descended upon the coyote and sank her teeth into her, making Chuck's daemon scream loudly. Tessa released her and stood back, watching closely, ready to attack again.

Chuck got to his feet. "That the best you can do, cripple?" he taunted. He came at him with all his force and managed to land a punch on Leroy's cheek that sent him toppling over on his injured leg. Leroy growled under his breath – there was no way Chuck Winslow could take him in a fair fight when he was fit, but he wasn't.

He tried to get up – too fast – and his wounded knee protested, sending a sharp stabbing pain through his entire leg. Chuck loomed over him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, his fist raised high in the air, and Leroy was suddenly aware that this was one fight he wasn't going to win.

He cursed himself for being such an idiot; Chuck had probably been waiting for the right time to strike ever since he'd come home to recuperate. They had plenty of old scores to settle, and Chuck knew he stood a chance of getting even with him because of his leg injury. He'd probably picked today on purpose to show him up in front of his girl.

Chuck's fist came down, and Leroy fell sideways from the force of the second blow. He shook his head in confusion, bracing himself for more – but instead all hell broke loose.

It all took place so quickly, and the trail was so dusty, that Leroy wasn't even sure what happened. Chuck was standing over him, kicking him in the ribs, and Leroy was trying hard to get up again but his knee just wasn't co-operating.

Shannon had gone the deadly kind of silent she always went when she was furious – she was bashing Chuck over the head with her fists while Tony was throwing himself at Chuck repeatedly, yelling at him to stop. Chuck was just shoving the child out of the way every time he got near, easily swiping him aside like he was a puppy.

Leroy saw Pell dive-bomb the coyote daemon with his usual deadly accuracy, pecking away at her, but still Chuck's assault on him didn't let up any. Beside him, Tessa was lying on the ground, desperately trying to get up while the coyote snarled and snapped at her.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a massive, angry roar ripped through the air, deafening him and drowning out everything else.

The coyote gave a shriek of terror and when the dust cleared Leroy saw her slinking off with her tail between her legs, with Chuck limping along behind her, rubbing his bruised jaw. He paused only to glance back in their direction with an expression of bemused hatred on his face, as if he wasn't quite sure what had happened. He looked furious that his plan to take Leroy down once and for all hadn't worked.

Leroy looked up to see Tony standing over him, protecting him, arms still outstretched, fists at the ready. Shannon was standing beside the child, red hair full of dirt, looking just as fiercely protective. Pell was flying directly overhead, patrolling the skies above them, and Shanti was a little brown bear, hackles raised, brown eyes defiant and determined.

Tessa picked herself up from the dust and sat down beside him. She looked a little frayed around the edges but fine apart from that.

"It's like I said," she murmured. "Pack."

Leroy accepted Shannon's hand to help him up and leaned heavily on Tony's shoulder as his knee almost gave way beneath him. He looked down on the pair of them.

"Yes," he said to Tessa. "Pack."

~*~

When Tony woke up the following day he was still feeling restless and angry inside. Shanti was a brown bear beside him which was unusual – it wasn't one of her normal shapes.

"I'm angry," she said, in a little growl of a voice.

"I know. Me too." He remembered that man the previous day, taunting and mocking them and then punching Leroy into the dust. Tony had been overcome by his emotions back then – and that protective rage was still coursing through his veins.

"Because it can't get out," Shanti told him, her fur bristling.

"It did get out, and you saw what happened."

"It wouldn't be like that if I could be that way more often. It's just because it's all locked up and hidden away."

"We'll go home soon and then everything can go back to the way it was."

She stared at him from big, brown eyes. "But I don't want to go home," she said, turning into a puppy again. "I want to stay here, with Jethro." She snuggled up next to him.

"Jethro?" He raised an eyebrow.

"That's what Shannon calls him. She's right, it suits him better – and it's what I want to call him too."

"I know." He hugged her close, feeling unhappy. He was angry about the fight yesterday, and he wanted to go home so Shanti could relax and be herself, but at the same time he wanted to stay here, close to Jethro.

"Even if we did stay, Jethro won't be here much longer," he told Shanti sensibly. "When his leg gets better he'll go back to the Marines. He'll still see Shannon because she's his girl, but I'm not…I'm not part of his life," he said miserably. He'd felt so lonely since his mother died, but being with Jethro had changed that, and he'd started to feel happy again in the past week.

Shanti licked his nose, and they clung onto each other. There didn't seem to be any answer to it, and Tony felt upset and confused. His mood didn't improve when his father told him to get dressed in his best clothes.

"We're going to lunch with Frank Winslow," he said when Tony mulishly asked an insolent "why?"

"Why?" Tony asked again, feeling out of sorts and irritable.

His father glared at him. "Because I'm doing business with him, but he's a hard nut to crack. So I'm taking him out to lunch today to show him what a decent, honest, family man I am – that's why you're coming too. And wipe that look off your face! You're going to be polite and not show me up. Keep your damn daemon under control; I don't want her showing off and making a scene. Got it?"

"Got it," Tony said sullenly.

He hated dressing up in his suit and wearing a tie to go to the restaurant on Main Street. His father kept a firm hand on his shoulder as he steered him across the road, and Tony glanced miserably in the direction of the woods. He would far rather spend the day there with Jethro and Shannon than sitting in a stuffy restaurant with his father's boring business acquaintance.

Shanti ambled along beside him in her brown bear shape, representing just how grouchy he felt about this. His father took no notice of his sullen mood though, and Nala even nipped Shanti's flank when she was too slow, making her yelp.

They were shown to their table in the restaurant, and Tony froze. There, sitting at the table, was the man from yesterday – Chuck. His face was bruised, and his lip had been split in the fight, but there was no mistaking the coyote daemon beside him. The coyote bared her teeth at Shanti, and Shanti gave a little growl and puffed up her fur angrily.

Chuck was sitting next to a much older man, who Tony guessed had to be his father – the man his own father had been doing business with all week.

Frank Winslow got up and shook his father's hand heartily. They made boring adult conversation that Tony ignored; he was too busy glaring at Chuck. His father motioned to him to sit down, and, reluctantly, he took his seat. Shanti sat down next to him, and Nala sank down beside her.

"Now, you'll have to excuse Chuck's appearance," Frank said. "There's a bad kid in town – thought we'd got rid of him, but he's come back. Always causes fights wherever he goes. Chuck tried to reason with him but this kid talks with his fists. He's a bad lot."

Was he talking about Jethro? Tony gazed at the man in astonishment, and Shanti sat up, her ears flicking angrily.

"That wasn't the way it was," Tony said, unable to stop himself.

His father turned to glare at him, and Nala bit Shanti's ear – hard. Tony fought back a yelp, but he was too angry to be subdued.

"Is that so, young Tony?" Frank Winslow had a cold look in his eyes.

Tony knew he was supposed to shut up. He knew he was supposed to be polite and nice and make everyone like him so his father's business deal went down well, but he couldn't do it.

"Yes it is," he said firmly.

"The kid doesn't know what he's talking about," Chuck said smoothly. His coyote daemon opened her mouth and actually laughed in Shanti's face. Shanti stood up on her hind legs and snapped her jaws at her. Tony's father glared at Shanti and gave Tony a nudge under the table, but Tony was too angry to pay any attention to him.

"I do! I was there!" he said defiantly.

Shanti gave a loud growl, and Nala immediately shoved Shanti's face onto the floor and held her paw over Shanti's muzzle. Tony fought for breath, feeling stifled.

"Leroy Gibbs has been trouble since the minute he was born," Frank Winslow said, leaning back in his chair. His possum daemon went over and sat down next to his son's coyote, and they both glared at Shanti. "I've known him all my life, and he's a bad'un."

"I'm sure he is. I got a bad vibe off the kid the minute I met him," Tony's father said, much to Tony's astonishment. "Now, shall we take a look at the menu?" he added, in a clear attempt to move the conversation on.

Tony bit down hard on his lip and tried to look at the menu. Opposite him, Chuck gave him a nasty grin that just made things worse. Tony really did try and sit there and not say anything, but in the end the words just came tumbling out.

"Leroy isn't bad. He's been nicer to me than anyone else in this town, and Chuck started it!"

"That's enough." His father got up, grabbed hold of his neck, yanked him to his feet, and propelled him out of the restaurant. Nala followed, with Shanti held loosely in her jaws. "What the hell do you think you're playing at?" his father hissed, shaking him. "I told you to play nice with these people. Who the hell cares what they think of your new friend? It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me!"

His father shook him again. "Don't be an idiot. You just go along with people like this. You make them think they're the big 'I am' even when you think they're idiots. You wear a big smile, say what they want to hear, and charm the socks off them."

"I don't want to," Tony said sullenly.

He felt his father's temper rising and braced himself for the slap – that never came. His father released him, visibly regaining control of his temper, and Nala dropped Shanti to the floor. "I don't have time for this. We'll deal with it later. Now, if you can't behave then I don't damn well want you going back in there. You'll screw up this entire deal for me. So fuck off and leave me to repair the damage you've done."

His father shoved him onto the sidewalk and then turned and stalked back into the restaurant without looking back.

Tony stared after him uncertainly. On the one hand, he was glad he didn't have to spend a few hours being polite to people he hated. On the other, he knew his father wouldn't let this drop and there would be hell to pay later.

That was later though. Now was now, and Tony possessed the ability to keep the two entirely separate in his head.

"We have the day free! We can go and find Jethro and Shannon!" Shanti said happily, circling him excitedly in puppy form.

Tony made his way to the woods, with Shanti running along beside him, tail held high in the air. He walked towards their usual spot…and then paused as he got close.

Shannon was sitting on a blanket, with Tessa beside her. Shannon looked very relaxed and happy and her hair was all mussed up – but that wasn't what caught Tony's attention. He was transfixed by the sight of her *stroking Tessa's fur with her bare hand*. Leroy was kneeling beside her, with Pell perched on his bare hand, and he was gently touching Pell's head, making Pell croon in delight.

Tony stopped dead in his tracks, feeling scared. You didn't touch another person's daemon. It was a huge taboo. He'd only experienced it a couple of times but it had made him feel physically sick. He put out his hand, and Shanti turned into a mouse and climbed up his arm and into his shirt, trembling at the memory of when she'd been touched. Daemons could touch each other, and people could touch each other, and you could touch your own daemon – but you didn't touch anyone else's.

Tony didn't know what to do. As he watched Leroy gently stroking Pell's wings, he felt another emotion; envy. Leroy looked so happy, and Pell was making those little crooning sounds. Tessa was lying on her side, panting happily – she didn't look distressed by Shannon gently combing her fingers through her fur. On the contrary; she looked relaxed and completely content.

Leroy brought Pell up to his face and gently kissed the kestrel's head, and Tony was aware that he'd intruded on a very intimate scene. He'd never seen his father touch his mother's daemon, and now that the shock was wearing off he felt a sense of longing.

He must have made a sound – maybe a sigh – because Leroy suddenly looked up. Pell flew up into the sky, and Tessa moved back to his side, out of Shannon's reach.

"Sorry. It's just me." Tony edged towards them, suddenly feeling shy. He'd never been shy with them before, but what he'd just seen had changed their easy friendship.

"It's okay, Tony," Shannon said gently, beckoning him over. He went slowly and sat down on the edge of the blanket, with Shanti pressed close against his heart. Shannon glanced up at Leroy, with a worried expression.

Leroy knelt down on the blanket beside Tony. "Did you see something that scared you?" he asked.

Tony shrugged and hugged Shanti tighter. She stuck her nose out of his shirt and then pulled it back quickly out of sight.

"It's okay. I'm not going to touch her," Leroy told him with a surprised little laugh.

Tony looked up, feeling confused. That wasn't the problem. He didn't mind the idea of Leroy touching Shanti – and that was what was confusing him.

"I saw you touching Pell!" he blurted. "People shouldn't touch other people's daemons with their bare hands! It isn't nice!"

Leroy nodded thoughtfully and sat back on his knees. "It's true that usually when someone touches your daemon it makes you feel like you’re going to throw up, or pass out, or both at the same time. But sometimes…not often, but it can happen, that when you love someone, and…um…trust them…then it feels…good…um…natural…to touch their daemon."

He was clearly floundering, and he looked at Shannon for help.

"Did your mom ever touch your daemon – when you were sick maybe?" she asked.

Tony frowned, trying to remember. "Once, I think she did. I had a fever, and she was trying to wake me."

It wasn't common even for parents to touch their child's daemon with their bare hands. It just wasn't something you *did*. Even for a parent, it could be considered abusive to touch a child's daemon; it was such an intimate act. Tony remembered when a kid at school had grabbed Shanti's head, and how he had howled and almost passed out from the sensation. The kid had been expelled – that's how serious it was to touch another person's daemon with bare hands. Sometimes accidents happened, and someone rubbed up against your daemon by mistake and apologized to you profusely. But usually that was just a split second of nausea that quickly passed.

Shanti poked her head out from his shirt again and looked around cautiously.

"You'll understand when you get older," Shannon said, smiling.

"You mean it's a sex thing?" Tony said scornfully. "I know all about sex stuff. I watch a lot of TV, and once I saw my mom and dad doing it."

Leroy made a snorting sound in the back of his throat, and Shannon laughed out loud. Shanti crawled out of his shirt and sat down beside him in puppy form.

"It's not a sex thing, Tony," Leroy told him firmly. "It's not physical and it goes much deeper than that. It's soul deep. It's like touching another person, *knowing* another person right down to their soul. A lot of people never feel that way about someone else, so they go through their lives never touching another person's daemon. Most people don't like having their daemons touched at all, even by those they love most. But if you can find someone you're connected to, on some level beyond words and bodies…it's just…" He broke off and glanced at Shannon. "The most incredible feeling," he finished.

Shannon got up and went to kneel beside him. "I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one go, Jethro, and it was beautiful. Thank you." She kissed him gently on the mouth, and Pell landed on Tessa and smoothed her fur with his beak.

"Yuck!" Tony made a face, and Shanti turned into a porcupine and hid her eyes with her paws. Shannon and Leroy both laughed.

"You look kind of over-dressed for a day in the woods, Tony," Leroy said, glancing at his stiff grey suit.

Tony shrugged, remembering the scene at the restaurant, and Shanti turned into a bear beside him and gave a little growl. "Dad wanted me to go to lunch with the guy he's doing business with – but when we got there that Chuck person was there, and…well, I kind of got angry," he explained.

"Angry about what?" Leroy asked.

Tony flushed. "They said bad things about you. So I got angry," he said sullenly.

Leroy looked at him for a moment and then gave a big, wide smile – Tony had never seen him smile quite like that, and he was fascinated.

"Thanks for standing up to them, Tony, but I hope you didn't get in any trouble."

"No." Tony crossed his fingers behind his back.

"Not yet anyway," Shanti murmured in an undertone, and he knew she was afraid of what kind of a mood Nala would be in when they went back to the motel later.

"The suit is very nice. Makes you look grown up and handsome," Shannon said, and Tony grinned and got up and pranced around a bit, milking it for all he was worth. Beside him, Shanti turned into a peacock, spread out her glorious display of feathers, and began strutting around proudly.

Shannon laughed out loud. “You do know it’s only the peacock that has all that bright plumage, not the peahen, right?” she asked.

Shanti just kept on parading around, ignoring the fact that the form she was mimicking wasn’t gender appropriate. It wasn’t one of her daemon forms – she was just having some fun with it, like a child dressing up.

"You are such a show off," Leroy said, rolling his eyes. "Trying to charm the lady, huh?" He nodded in Shannon's direction.

Shanti turned back into a puppy again and sat down abruptly beside him. Tony felt annoyed.

"It wasn't for Shannon," Shanti said sulkily, too quietly for them to hear.

"I know. It was for Leroy," he replied just as quietly.

He wasn't even sure why he wanted to impress Leroy so much; he just knew that he did. He liked Shannon, so that wasn't the problem. It was something else that he didn't really understand.

Tony wanted the day to last forever, if only to delay the moment when he'd have to go back to the motel and face his father. He knew that Leroy wanted the day to last forever too, because he was going to be taking Shannon to the station to catch her train in the evening.

There was something special about that last day they all spent together; something almost magical. Shanti felt it too. The sun shone for most of the afternoon, and later, when there was a sudden rainstorm, Leroy held the blanket over their heads as they ran at his limping pace all the way back to the store.

They left the sodden blanket at the store, airing over a chair in front of the fire. Leroy picked up Shannon's bag, and Tony accompanied them both to the station. He stood by while Leroy and Shannon kissed, and then Shannon turned to him. She looked so pretty with her white skin and long red hair. She pressed a little kiss to his cheek and then smiled.

"It was great meeting you, Tony. Look after Jethro when I'm gone!"

At that moment the sky went dark and it began to rain again. Tony felt a shiver run down his spine, and Shanti gave a little wail. Tony opened his mouth to reply, only to find that his throat had gone completely dry.

"I will," he croaked. "I promise."

She looked surprised by the heartfelt sincerity in his tone and gave a little laugh. "Hey, I'll be back next weekend," she said, tapping him under the chin with her finger.

"Yes. I know." He lowered his head and gazed at Shanti who gazed back at him from troubled brown eyes. Shannon would be back, yes, but somehow he knew that he would never see her again.

He stepped forward and touched her hand. "Bye," he whispered. "I…gotta go now. My dad will be waiting for me." He squeezed her hand tight, for just a brief second, and then turned and ran out of the station.

It was raining hard, and he paused by the station awning because this time he didn't have Leroy with his blanket to keep him dry. It was also nearly dark, and he'd stayed out far later than he should. He watched the rain come crashing down, as lightning streaked across the sky. It showed no signs of letting up so eventually he decided he'd just have to get wet. He began to run, covering his head with his arms, Shanti in puppy form sticking close by his side.

"Hey – Tony!" He heard a voice and turned to see Tessa loping into sight with Leroy behind her. "You okay? You left in a hurry."

"I don't like goodbyes," Tony muttered. "And it's late. I need to get home. Dad…" His father was already in a bad mood with him, and he dreaded how much worse it might be if he'd gone out drinking after lunch.

Leroy stood there, the rain plastering his dark hair to his head, his blue eyes concerned.

"You going to be okay, Tony?" he asked. "With your dad, I mean?"

Leroy always knew the things Tony never said; he could read him better than anyone had ever done, even his mom. Maybe that was why Tony liked him so much.

"Yes. I'll be fine." Tony crossed his fingers behind his back. "Did Shannon's train come?"

"Yes, she's gone. I thought I'd see if I could catch up with you. Is something wrong?" Leroy pressed.

Shanti turned into a mouse and ran up to sit on his shoulder. He didn't have the words to explain it, but something had happened back there with Shannon; something dark and frightening.

"No. Nothing's wrong," Tony replied quickly. "I'll see you."

And then he turned and ran back down the street.

~*~

Leroy watched Tony disappear into the rainy night.

"Something feels wrong," Tessa said quietly.

"I know. It’s like how it feels before a storm, only the storm's already here." Leroy glanced up at the angry black clouds overhead. It was bucketing down, and he was already soaked through.

He limped back to the store, but he couldn't shake the sensation that something bad was going to happen.

His father took one look at him when he got in and began clucking around, throwing a towel over his wet head and scolding him for going out without a coat or umbrella.

"Supper's nearly ready," he said.

Leroy glanced over at the table and saw that three places had been laid.

"I thought young Tony might be joining us," Jackson explained.

"No." Leroy glanced at Tessa who seemed unsettled and agitated. "He said he had to get back to his dad. So it's just us two."

"Makes a change." Jackson tousled his damp hair – something that Leroy really hated. It had been bad enough when he was a kid, but as a twenty year old man it was even more annoying. "Seems like we've had guests at the dinner table a lot this part week – either Shannon, or Tony, or both! Not that I mind! I'm delighted." He rambled on as he walked into the kitchen. "Always wanted you to bring friends home when you were a kid, and you never did. Been nice having young people around to talk to…"

Leroy sat down at the table, his wet shirt sticking to his cold skin. Tessa sat down beside him and then got up again and turned around in a circle. She tried to sit down again but was clearly unable to settle. She gave a little whine and looked up at him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Something feels wrong. I think one of your pack is in trouble."

"Well it's not Dad. He's fine. So is it Tony, or Shannon?"

He hadn't even realized that he'd named the people he viewed as members of his pack; his pack, under his protection, even when he wasn't physically near them.

"Shannon's train…" he began.

Tessa shook her head. "I do not think it is Shannon."

~*~

The motel room was dark when he got back. Tony didn't have a key, so he knocked on the door. He half hoped his father wasn't back yet – then he could walk back to the warm, welcoming lights of the store, and sit down for one of Jackson Gibbs's home-cooked suppers that always tasted so good.

He heard a crashing noise inside the motel room, and he winced; that didn't sound good. When his father was sober he could be strict and mean, but Tony could handle both those things. It was when his father was drunk that he became truly scary.

A light went on, the door was opened, and he found himself gazing into his father's bloodshot eyes.

"So you've come back at last, have you?" he slurred.

"Yes Dad. Sorry Dad," Tony whispered, sidling into the room with Shanti pressed up against his legs.

"You damn well should be! Because of you, I lost the business deal I was working on!"

His father slammed the door shut behind him, and Tony froze. Because of him? Had he screwed that up for his father just by sticking up for Leroy at lunch? Was that how business deals worked?

"Sorry, Dad," he whispered again, going over to his bed. If he lay down and pretended to be asleep his father might let it drop. He'd no doubt bring it up again in the morning, but Tony wasn't so afraid of him when he was sober.

"You don't fucking understand, do you?" His father suddenly loomed over him. "We needed that deal. Your mom's money is all tied up in trust funds and…" He caught himself. "My business doesn't have any capital, and if I can't find an investor then we stand to lose everything. Do you understand *that*, you little shit?"

Tony shook his head, but that just made things worse. His father reached out, grabbed his arms, and squeezed so tight it made him whimper. Shanti gave a growl and threw herself at Nala, who opened her big jaws, snapped them tight around Shanti's puppy neck, and held her down on the floor.

"No! Please! No!" Tony wheezed, struggling to breathe. "Let Shanti go!"

His father's face broke into a grim, drunken smile. He released his grip on Tony's arms and turned to look at where Nala had Shanti pinned down.

"I told you to keep her under control back there, but you didn't. And if you can't control your daemon, then I'll have to do it for you."

He went over to Shanti and yanked her out of Nala's jaws. Tony screamed as wave after wave of nausea rolled through him. His father was touching his daemon! He was holding Shanti in his hand, by the scruff of her neck, and it made him feel so ill he threw up.

"Doesn't feel good, does it?" his father asked viciously as Tony puked up onto the floor. "Like losing a fucking business deal when you're this close. *This fucking close*!" He shook Shanti violently, and she gave a scream of terror. Tony fell onto the bed, screaming with her.

"Please stop…please…" He clawed at his own throat, trying to breathe, but all he could feel were his father's hands on Shanti, squeezing and shaking.

"You're a brat. I raised a brat. Your daemon is the evidence. I should have done something about it before," his father said ominously. "I should have made you control yourself, but I've been too easy on you. Soft. Like your mom. You're a spoiled brat, Tony."

He turned and hurled Shanti against the wall. She slammed into it and fell to the floor, but the minute she landed Nala was upon her, snarling at her and biting her. Tony fell back onto the bed, writhing in pain. He was dimly aware of his father going over to Shanti and drawing back his leg, and then he landed a kick on her exposed belly, and another, and then another.

Tony gasped for air, doubled over, clutching his stomach. Shanti was screaming, and he was screaming with her, desperate to reach her but in too much pain to move.

His father leaned down and picked her up by the scruff of her neck again, and Tony threw up again, instantly. He writhed in agony, wondering if maybe this was what it felt like to be dying.

His father slapped Shanti around the face, while she called for him, over and over again, but he couldn't get there. He managed to fall off the bed and onto the floor, struggling to reach her. He tried crawling across the room but it all hurt too much.

Then suddenly the room lurched and everything was upside down. He thought he saw his mother's daemon, Keddon, a big black cat, coming towards him.

"Call for help," Keddon urged.

Who could he call? His mom was dead and there was nobody else nearby.

"Call!" Keddon told him urgently. "He will hear."

Tony opened his mouth and screamed: "Jethro!"

~*~

End of Part Two
Part Three
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Posted by

rosebud-26.livejournal.com

Grrrrr! How dare Tony's dad touch his daemon!

Bad, very bad!

Posted by

Xanthe's Story Journal

Fic: Soul Deep - 2/12

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