xanthefic: (ncis gibbs tony handsome)
[personal profile] xanthefic
Title: Boats
Author: Xanthe
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Slash
Category: Out-take scene from Aliyah
Wordcount: 2,300-ish
Status: Complete
Spoilers: Aliyah
Summary: Gibbs explains his choice to Tony. And they talk about boats. Possibly.



Boats
By Xanthe

Gibbs sawed at the wood steadily, methodically, taking no particular satisfaction in the task. It was time. In fact, he had known the time was brewing for awhile now; he’d just been waiting for his gut to tell him when. He never liked it, but it had to be done.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Gibbs glanced up to see Tony standing at the top of the stairs. He had at least changed out of the suit he’d been wearing these past few days. Now he was dressed in a pair of old grey sweatpants and an equally old looking black tee shirt. Gibbs guessed that getting dressed in anything wasn’t easy with a broken arm, and Tony had clearly opted for comfort over style. He looked younger dressed like that – more like he’d looked when Gibbs had first met him. His hair was still damp from the shower he must have recently taken, making it look darker and more messy than usual.

“This is how you get rid of them?” Tony asked, coming slowly down the stairs, walking like an old man. He looked tired, and his eyes were haunted. Gibbs wasn’t surprised. It had been a long few days, and Tony had taken the worst of it. Besides, it was late, and that gruelling flight home from Tel Aviv had to have taken its toll on Tony, injured as he was.

Tony reached the bottom of the stairs, a confused, almost belligerent look on his face.

“This is what you do? After all that hard work? You just break them up into little pieces?”

Gibbs shrugged. “When I’m done with them - yes. That’s exactly what I do.”

Tony ran his good hand along what was left of the broken-up boat and surveyed the sacks full of chopped wood stacked neatly to one side.

“But you love these boats,” he said quietly. “You spend months building them. Years sometimes.”

Gibbs shrugged again and returned to his sawing.

“You can put all that effort into building something, into lovingly creating it from scratch out of raw lumps of wood, and then just take a saw to it, cut it up into little pieces, and throw it out with the trash?” Tony asked, and his voice held a world of hurt in it.

“Nope.” Gibbs threw a piece of wood into a nearby sack and then turned back to start sawing a fresh piece.

“Sure as hell looks that way,” Tony growled.

Gibbs stopped in mid-saw and fixed him with a glare. “I don’t throw it out. I take all the sacks of wood out into the back yard, and I burn them.”

“Oh, that’s fine then! That makes it all okay!”

Gibbs sighed and stood up. He put the saw down.

“When the job’s done, it’s done.” He gave another shrug. “This boat was as good as I could make her. There was nowhere else to go with her.”

“Except out on the water,” Tony pointed out. “You could, you know, actually sail one of the damn things!”

“I don’t build ‘em to sail ‘em.” Gibbs shrugged. “You know that. No way to get them out of here in one piece for a start.”

Tony leaned against the wall. “Then why…?”

“Because I like the process, Tony! It’s about the journey, not the end result.”

“So it doesn’t matter how good they are? They all get burned in the end?” Tony gazed at the remains of the boat, and then looked up to glare at Gibbs.

Gibbs glared right back at him. “Yeah. Even the best ones get burned in the end, DiNozzo.”

Tony pushed himself away from the wall with his good arm and came towards him. “Even the ones you spent the most time with? Even the ones you spent the longest bashing and sanding into shape, so they’re all shiny and polished and perfect?”

He was close now, so close that Gibbs could smell the scent of his shower gel. His green eyes were asking a different question entirely.

“Even the ones you loved working on the best?” Tony asked softly, in a broken kind of voice.

Gibbs turned away and grabbed one of the sacks. “Here,” he said, handing it to Tony. “As long as you’re here you might as well make yourself useful.” He nodded his head to the pile of chopped up wood.

“I’ve got a broken arm,” Tony pointed out. Gibbs shrugged.

“So use your other one.”

Tony sighed and started collecting the wood, one-handed, and putting it into the sack. Gibbs picked up his saw and started breaking up the last part of the boat.

“Boat I loved most was never one of the shiny, polished, perfect ones,” he said as he worked.

Tony stuffed a handful of wood into the sack and wiped a sawdust covered hand over his forehead.

“Boat I loved most was the first one I made. She was…quirky. She didn’t sit right – listed to one side and was uneven in places, but…I loved that boat. She gave me such a hard time, and every time I fixed one thing that was wrong with her it just threw up another – but she was fun, you know. She was a challenge. She made me laugh.”

“Boats can make you laugh?” Tony queried doubtfully. Gibbs grinned.

“Oh yeah.”

“What happened to her? You burn her too?” Tony asked. There was a little sheen of sweat on his forehead, to which a smattering of sawdust had attached itself.

“Nope.” Gibbs shook his head.

Tony grabbed another piece of wood and somehow managed to bash his broken arm with it. He gave a little growl of pain, dropped the wood on the floor, and cradled his sore arm.

“Jesus!” he cursed, grimacing.

“Sit.” Gibbs gestured with his head at the stairs.

Tony went and sat on the second to bottom step, still cradling his arm. He rested his head against the banister, dislodging some sawdust from his hair in the process. Gibbs resumed sawing, aware of Tony’s eyes on him the whole time.

“You didn’t even try and get Ziva to change her mind,” Tony said eventually. Gibbs glanced over at him. “You just let her walk away without a fight.”

“That what you think happened?” Gibbs asked.

“There was no time for anything else. One minute she was coming with us – hell she even had her bag with her - and next she was staying behind. I’m not blaming you. We lost her because of me, and my screw up.” Tony shrugged. “And you were fine with her leaving because…well, I guess it was just her time for the woodpile, huh?” He glanced at the sacks of neatly piled wood.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. Tony stared at him some more.

“You pissed with me for losing her?” He asked at last. “No, don’t answer that. I know you are. I fucked this whole thing up, and now Ziva’s gone. I lost her for you – for all of us.”

“Wasn’t you that lost her.” Gibbs shrugged.

“Oh for God’s sake, Gibbs!” Tony exploded. “We all know it was. I killed the man she was in love with, and she was never going to come back to NCIS after that.”

“She gave me a choice, Tony!” Gibbs snapped, throwing down his saw again. He walked over to where Tony was sitting and stood in front of him, hands on hips.

“A choice?” Tony frowned. “What kind of a choice?”

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow. Tony gazed at him, startled.

“Me or her? She made you choose between us? Christ, Gibbs, that’s so fucked up. I’m sorry you were put in that position.” Tony shook his head and then realisation crept into his eyes. “You chose me?” He sounded so surprised that Gibbs wanted to shake him. “I mean…you didn’t even need to think about it?” Tony frowned. Then he looked up at Gibbs. “Why? I mean, I get that we’ve worked together a long time, but I screwed up – and that happens a lot, and it pisses you off - and she’s…well, I know you and she are close, and she isn’t anywhere near as irritating as I am, and you never had to headslap her anywhere near as often to get her to shape up.” He made a face and dropped his gaze.

Gibbs sighed. “You’re right. She was all polished up and shiny and Mossad-trained when I first got her. You, on the other hand…” he grinned. “You’re all my own work. Of course I damn well chose you, DiNozzo! Why the hell does that surprise you?” He leaned forward, put a finger under Tony’s chin, and tipped up his face to make him look at him. “Listen to me. You didn’t screw up on this one. I told you to watch Rivkin, and you did. You followed up new intel that led to him. You tried to bring him in, and he resisted arrest. You shot him in self-defence. Then you took one for the team, just like you always do, Tony – maybe a little too often.”

“I should have followed protocol. I should have taken back up when I went to Ziva’s apartment.”

Gibbs nodded. “Yes - you damn well should! And Ziva should have told us what the hell was going on, and Eli David should have kept his agent the hell out of our back yard. You might have messed up a little on protocol, but you weren’t the one deceiving me, or forcing ultimatums on me. You’re a pain in the ass, DiNozzo, but you’re also the finest damn agent I ever worked with.”

“Really?” Tony’s eyes gleamed with a kind of puzzled pleasure at hearing those words.

Not for the first time, Gibbs wanted to get his hands on whoever had screwed with Tony’s view of himself, way back when he was just a kid, and left him so clear on all his faults and so fuzzy on all his good points.

“Really.”

Tony grinned that stupid big goofy grin of his. “Could you maybe write that down, or tape it or something? Or just, you know, say it when McGee is standing nearby…”

Gibbs slapped the back of his head.

“Just joking, Boss. So that’s why you chose me?”

“No.” Gibbs shook his head.

“It isn’t?” Tony frowned.

“No.”

“Then why?”

Gibbs clasped Tony’s face in his hands, leaned down, and kissed him on the mouth. Tony floundered for a moment, but Gibbs didn’t think for a second that he’d misjudged this. He was right. Tony gave a sudden sigh and melted into the kiss, and then his good hand came to rest on Gibbs’s hip. Gibbs held his face tight and continued kissing him for a long time, until he was sure there couldn’t possibly be any more doubt in Tony’s mind. Then he released him.

“That’s why. Clear now?”

Tony gazed up at him from stunned eyes, his mouth still slightly open. Gibbs reached out and knocked some of the sawdust out of his hair.

“Clear,” Tony murmured.

“Good.” Gibbs turned back to the remains of the boat. “How’s your arm?” he threw over his shoulder as he tidied up.

“Uh…still hurts, but between Ziva throwing me around, and her father squeezing it, and that God-awful flight home, and Abby hugging me, and me bashing myself with bits of wood that’s hardly surprising…uh…why?”

Gibbs finished filling up the last sack and threw it on top of the others. Then he turned back to Tony with one raised eyebrow. Tony’s eyes glimmered.

“Oh! Right! The arm is fine! Doesn’t hurt at all! I might need some help getting undressed though.” He shot Gibbs a lascivious wink. “That a problem?”

Gibbs gave him a predatory grin in return. “Oh, I don’t think so.”

Gibbs glanced around the room with a sense of satisfaction at the newly emptied space. It was time to start again – build something fresh.

“Why now?” Tony asked.

“My gut told me it was time.”

“I wasn’t talking about the boat.”

“Neither was I.”

Gibbs returned to the stairs, and Tony got to his feet eagerly as he approached. His broken arm threw him off-balance, and Gibbs put out a hand to steady him. Gibbs held Tony up with one hand and pulled him in for a kiss with the other. Tony’s mouth opened easily the second their lips touched, and Gibbs slid his tongue inside and explored purposefully. Tony melted against him again, and Gibbs felt a quiet sense of satisfaction in his gut. He kissed Tony for a long time, taking care of Tony’s injured arm where it was nestled between their bodies.

“I never answered your question,” Gibbs said, when he finally came up for air.

“What question?” Tony frowned, nuzzling a little trail along his neck that made Gibbs’s cock harden in anticipation.

“The one about my first boat. The one I loved best.” Gibbs moved his hand down and cupped Tony’s ass firmly. “I didn’t build her in here. I built her out in the garage. When she was done, I took her down to the marina. I go and take her out and sail in her every so often.”

“I thought you said she was kind of quirky?” Tony said, with a little frown. Gibbs grinned.

“Oh yeah! She is. Still lists to one side, and I’m always fixing her up when she goes wrong, but I love that boat. All the others – they’re just for the pleasure of the building. That one – she might not be perfect, and she may be messed up every which way, but she’s for keeps.”

He leaned forward, captured Tony’s mouth with his own, and kissed him again. Then he pulled back a little way so that he could look into those gleaming green eyes.

“Just like you.”

The End

Friendly feedback adored!

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on May. 21st, 2009 07:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ladyholder.livejournal.com
This was very nice. I also like that he is sailing at least one of the boats that he built!

~L

on May. 21st, 2009 09:40 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Yeah - I figure he's sekritly doing that and nobody knows *g*

on May. 21st, 2009 07:57 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ferneberga.livejournal.com
AW!!Like the boat euphemism

on May. 21st, 2009 09:41 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Tony IS like a boat to Gibbs *g*

on May. 21st, 2009 08:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lil-jei.livejournal.com
Very good. I had just finished a rough draft of my next fic and was almost ready for bed but I just had to refresh my lj page and wham bam here came such a wonderfully good fic....My insomnia thanks you lol. I have much love for the boat metaphor, I think it captures Gibbs feelings for Tony and even the rest of the team hence the shiny perfect Ziva idea. I thought your Tony (and Gibbs)was very much in character and so bittersweet that it was heartwrenching to read his thoughts and feelings. Loved it.

on May. 21st, 2009 09:41 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm fond of boat type fics I must say for some reason *g*.

on May. 21st, 2009 09:34 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] puck23.livejournal.com
I so get that it's the destination and not the journey. People are always laughing and saying I am way to zen about it. (for me it's a garden) but if they knew...

on May. 21st, 2009 09:42 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Heh - see I do *get* it but I'm so impatient I can't live by it *g*.

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] puck23.livejournal.com - on May. 21st, 2009 09:53 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com - on May. 21st, 2009 09:57 am (UTC) - Expand

on May. 21st, 2009 09:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] grey853.livejournal.com
Finally Gibbs can say what needs to be said! Tony loves action, but he needs the words, too, something that Gibbs doesn't do that well. He's sort of a not so perfect boat himself in that respect.

Lovely job. Tony is so damaged and I'm not just talking about the bruises and broken arm. He deserves some comfort and I'm glad Gibbs is able to do it. Well done. Thanks.

on May. 21st, 2009 10:50 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you :-). I think Tony does sometimes need words too - and in this case Gibbs gave him both words and actions so he's clear on it. Poor lamb! I agree - he IS damaged and he DOES need comfort and Gibbs SHOULD step up and give it, damn it! LOL! Just a wish fulfilment fic on my part.

on May. 21st, 2009 10:26 am (UTC)
ext_33229: replace fear of the unknown with curiosity (Gibbs <3)
Posted by [identity profile] tuawahine.livejournal.com
That was lovely. :)

on May. 21st, 2009 10:48 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you :-)

on May. 21st, 2009 10:50 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] londonsabre.livejournal.com
Yay for Gibbs, Tony and the quirky boat!

If thats what happened on 'Aliyah', then I'll definitely run off to YouTube and watch it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it doesn't...!

on May. 21st, 2009 10:55 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
This is *exactly* what happens in "Aliyah" - word for word. I just transcribed it...go watch! *g*. Oh, okay, no...but it SHOULD have damnit!

on May. 21st, 2009 11:00 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ruefull.livejournal.com
Awww....how sweet! And of course Tony would think he was just going to be cast aside, poor boy, and that Gibbs would do it. Tony has no true sense of forgiveness for himself, only for others, he just doesn't understand that people see past the rest to the real man, and how good that man is. I'm sorry you're sick, but I'm glad you had time to write this! Um, just asking, you know, poking curiously, about the big bdsmy-fic? * blinks innocently* Didn't know if you needed encouragement, which, as your friend, I'd be so very happy to offer. *smiles innocently now*
*g*
Hope you feel better soon, hon!

on May. 21st, 2009 11:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Poor Tony and his many insecurities. Sigh. I just want someone to LOVE him - to really love him for who he IS and to show him and tell him so because I don't think he's ever had that to be honest. And I want it to be Gibbs who does it obviously *g*.

I do feel a bit better. Writing this made me feel as if I could face the big BDSMy fic again. I've been kind of stuck - weirdly, about the BDSM content. Hopefully try and break through that block today but we'll see.

on May. 21st, 2009 12:16 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] citikitti.livejournal.com
I love them talking about boats. Or not talking about boats, as the case may be. And everything; I loved everything. Which is hardly surprising. :)

And I hope you're feeling better.

on May. 21st, 2009 12:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! I liked them not talking about boats too *g*. And yeah I am - marginally. Sigh. It's taking a long time to shift this one.

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Posted by [identity profile] citikitti.livejournal.com - on May. 21st, 2009 01:05 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com - on May. 21st, 2009 02:46 pm (UTC) - Expand

on May. 21st, 2009 12:18 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] gloria1.livejournal.com
Thank you! Lovely lovely images there.

Do hope you feel better soon!

on May. 21st, 2009 12:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! And I am - a bit. It's slow going though!

on May. 21st, 2009 12:19 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] vycky-lynn.livejournal.com
This was a good fic to read after a stressful meeting with my guidance counsellor

on May. 21st, 2009 12:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
I'm happy to oblige!

on May. 21st, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] pfyre.livejournal.com
oh thank you lord... or is that 'thank you, Xanthe'? *G*

thank you so much for this! I loved it loved it loved it

just wish the damned writers on the show had half the talent and insight into the characters you have

on May. 21st, 2009 01:02 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
I love being thanked! LOL! And thank you for saying nice things *g*.

on May. 21st, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bluespirit-star.livejournal.com
Eeee! This is exactly what this ep needed & is obviously what happened.
I love the way you used the idea of the boats - that's so elegant & perfect.
Thank you! ♥

on May. 21st, 2009 01:02 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! I love doing all that boat stuff *g*.

on May. 21st, 2009 12:38 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] morganslady.livejournal.com
Oh God this was so beautiful.. I loved the analogy between Gibb's boat and the agents.. Just lovely..

on May. 21st, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you!

on May. 21st, 2009 12:50 pm (UTC)
goddess47: Emu! (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] goddess47
Gibbs glared right back at him. “Yeah. Even the best ones get burned in the end, DiNozzo.”

Oh, poor Gibbs.... I want to snuggle him, but it looks like Tony gets to do that for me....

Very nice!

on May. 21st, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Yes, poor Gibbs! But Tony will snuggle him GOOD for you *g*

on May. 21st, 2009 01:06 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tutncleo.livejournal.com
Thanks for the story. It was lovely. Loved the metaphor. I've been stuck on a story too. Its amazing how changing gears can sometimes help. Good luck on the BDSM one. Hope this broke the jinx!

on May. 21st, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thank you! And yeah - doing this helped me get over my funk with the other one! LOL!

on May. 21st, 2009 01:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] creidh.livejournal.com
Aww, very sweet.

on May. 21st, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thanks ;-)

on May. 21st, 2009 01:31 pm (UTC)
ext_21468: (adinajogibbstony)
Posted by [identity profile] dameange.livejournal.com
oh, {sigh} perfect.

on May. 21st, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Good! Yay!

on May. 21st, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] milliebear.livejournal.com
Cuuuute! Love the boat metaphors. Too fun :)

“Me or her? She made you choose between us? Christ, Gibbs, that’s so fucked up.

I AGREE *sticks tongue out at Ziva and glares* But there was never any doubt whatsoever that Gibbs would choose his boy. So... all is well, I think. *g* And now, they can comfort each other! Perfect. ;) Your fic is a good ending to the season *nods*

Thanks for sharing this adorableness!

on May. 21st, 2009 02:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Heh - thanks! And yeah - Ziva is TEH EVOL now for making Gibbs choose. Poor Tony - imagine how he'll feel if he finds out? *Pets Tony*.

on May. 21st, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] alicejung613.livejournal.com
After long hours of work, I was so exhausted tonight.
But your story made me smile as always.
When I watched season finale, I was so heartbroken, because everyone looked so sad.
In your story, at least Gibbs and Tony have each other and they seem happy together.
It's so sweet that Gibbs sees Tony as his favorite boat, the one for keeps.

I've been busy these days, but I finally read your wonderful fic "Damage" few days ago and I already read twice.
I'll leave feedback chapter by chapter this weekend.
Thanks always for fantastic stories. :)

on May. 21st, 2009 02:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Aw - that's so nice. Thank you! I'm so pleased it was there for you after a long day.

And yay to Damage as well :-). Look forward to it!

on May. 21st, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] moonprincessnat.livejournal.com
Nice. I especially liked Gibbs' analogy of the boats and his agents. Ziva's all polished and perfect, but Tony's quirky and loved. Thanks for sharing. :-)

on May. 21st, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thanks! Glad you liked the boat analogies!

on May. 21st, 2009 02:14 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tdorian.livejournal.com
This was so nice !!! so short....LOL I'm still waiting for another long story wit angst,sex etc...and yes, I have been told that I'm too demanding ! This one was great but I would have loved to follow them afterwards.*wink*Aida

on May. 21st, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
YOu *are* too demanding *g*. And I'm *ill*. this was all i could muster *g*. I am working on the long one - it's currently 40,000 words long so clearly it's gonna be another epic. So just be patient young missy!

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] tdorian.livejournal.com - on May. 21st, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com - on May. 21st, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

on May. 21st, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] djaddict.livejournal.com
Ahhhhh. Very nice!

on May. 21st, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthestories.livejournal.com
Thanks ;-)

on May. 21st, 2009 03:21 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chaoskir.livejournal.com
Still *crossing fingers* that you will feel better soon!

And thank you for this great and sweet and romantic lovely fic. I do love the end and if that is what you will write when you are sick than I will think again about holding my fingers crossed.

No seriously: Now I try to be reassuring: I don't want you to be sick (but still I want to read such great stories). *petsyouwithcrossingfingers*

on May. 21st, 2009 04:34 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com
I am feeling a bit better thank you! Glad you enjoyed the story :-). *liking the petting* *g*

on May. 21st, 2009 04:30 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] meluvstony.livejournal.com
Perfect :)

on May. 21st, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com
Thanks :-)
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