Fic: Soul Deep - 3/12

[xanthefic]

Leroy pushed his plate away.

"You not hungry, son?" Jackson asked.

"No. I mean yes…but no." Tessa’s agitation was getting even worse, and he knew he couldn’t ignore it anymore. It was making him feel physically ill in the pit of his stomach. "I think…I have to go do something."

"Do what?" Jackson was watching him, perplexed. Meldra went over to Tessa and gently pressed her feathers against Tessa's fur, but Tessa moved away.

He didn't hear the sound out loud, but the scream reverberated around his head all the same. "Jethro!"

"I have to go!"

Leroy wasn't sure where he was going exactly, but he had run out of the house and was halfway down the street before he realized he was on his way to the motel.

"Tony is in trouble," Tessa told him.

"Yes, I know."

He ignored the pain in his knee, ignored the rain pouring down from above, and ran as fast as he could.

He could hear angry sounds emanating from the motel room as he got close, and he threw himself the last few steps and crashed through the partly open door. Then he stopped, shocked by what he found there.

Tony was lying on the floor, completely comatose, while a drunken DiNozzo held Shanti down with his bare hands and slapped her over and over again.

Leroy didn't say a word. He threw himself at DiNozzo, yanked him away from Shanti, and delivered one solid upper cut to the man's jaw. That was all it took. DiNozzo went out like a light, falling down on the bed, dead to the world. Nala keeled over immediately beside him.

Leroy went over to Tony and crouched down beside him. There wasn't a mark on the boy – his father hadn't touched him; he'd terrorized his daemon instead.

"Tony?" Leroy gently stroked Tony's hair away from his forehead, but the child didn't move. "Hey…Tony…I need you to wake up," he said softly. He'd heard of people being traumatized when their daemons were attacked, and he knew how serious it could be.

Still Tony didn't move. Leroy glanced over at where Shanti was lying on the floor by the far wall, still in puppy form, eyes closed, unmoving.

Tessa went over to her and licked her face, but she didn't stir. Tessa sat back on her haunches and gave Leroy a despondent look.

"I can't wake her. We must try something else."

"What?" Leroy was at a loss as to what to do.

"You must try to reach Shanti."

Leroy took a deep breath and nodded. He went over to where Shanti was lying and knelt down beside her.

"Shanti," he said softly, gazing down at the little puppy. "I have to get Tony to safety, so I need you to wake up."

She whimpered, but still she didn't move or open her eyes. Leroy glanced at Tessa, and she nodded. "Do it."

"Hush, Shanti…you're okay. You're okay now." Leroy reached out a trembling hand towards the daemon. He had only ever touched Pell before, and once, many years ago, when he was a child, he'd touched Meldra.

It should have felt strange, but it didn't. The minute his fingers came into contact with her soft, golden fur, he felt as if everything was going to be okay. She felt silky soft beneath him, and warm, and somehow familiar, as if he'd known her his entire life.

"Does she mind?" he asked Tessa. "I don't want to make things worse."

The wolf shook her head. "She trusts you. You are not trying to harm her, and she is pack," Tessa reminded him. "She does not mind."

"Shanti," he said, still gently stroking the daemon.

Touching her filled his mind with thoughts of Tony. He saw a black cat – and the name 'Keddon' came instantly to his mind. The cat was the daemon of a woman with long blonde hair and bright green eyes. Then he saw himself, as Tony saw him…dark hair, blue eyes, a pronounced limp…and safe. Images of home, family, and kindness filled his mind…and then there was Shannon. He saw her red hair and pale skin…and he felt himself shiver with foreboding. Beneath his fingers, Shanti began to shake.

"Sssh…come back to us, Shanti," he said, unable to make sense of all the images and emotions swirling through his mind. It all felt so vivid and overwhelming. It was a glimpse into Tony's soul, and it was so intimate he felt as if he was intruding. Yet he needed Shanti to recover if he was going to stand any chance of reaching Tony and hauling him back to consciousness.

"Shanti, it's okay, you're safe. I promise. You'll always be safe with me."

She was shaking more violently now, and he saw Tony's father looming over her, grabbing her by the neck, and throwing her against the wall. His own fury rose up inside him, and he wanted to go over to the unconscious man and punch him all over again.

"That will not help," Tessa told him calmly. "Stay here, with Shanti. She and Tony need you."

Leroy nodded and kept gently talking to the stricken daemon, stroking and calming her, urging her to wake up.

"I'll keep you safe. I'm here…it's me, Leroy," he told her.

"Jethro," Tessa said. He glanced up at her. "That is who you are to her. To him." She glanced over at Tony.

Leroy didn't understand that, but he was acting on instinct now. "It's Jethro," he whispered to Shanti. "Your friend, Jethro. Come back to us, Shanti."

He saw Tony screaming his name and then falling down comatose, while his father continued to beat up on his daemon.

"I'm here. I came. I'm here," he told her. "It's me, Shanti. It's Jethro. I heard. I came."

Shanti's shaking slowly began to subside, and then she made a whimpering sound in the back of her throat and her eyes opened. She lay there, on her side, looking up at him from scared eyes.

"Hush…it's okay now, Shanti. It's okay, little one." He gently stroked her muzzle, and she feebly flicked her tongue over his fingers.

"He said I was bad. That I had to be controlled," Shanti whispered.

"You're fine just as you are," Leroy told her firmly. "Nobody should control you."

She nodded uncertainly and licked his hand again. Leroy smiled down on her. "Can you stand?"

She gave a little whine, but she managed to sit up, with Tessa's help. Then Tessa nudged her onto her paws, and she stood, swaying unsteadily.

Leroy glanced over at Tony. The boy's eyes were open, and he was gazing at him blankly. Leroy saw the pile of vomit beside the bed and on the child's clothes, and he fought down another wave of blind fury.

"Tony comes first," Tessa told him, calming the rising red mist of his temper.

"I know," he replied shortly.

Leroy went over to the boy and crouched down beside him. He reached out a hand and stroked Tony's hair, the way he'd just stroked Shanti.

"Can you walk, Tony?" he asked quietly.

Tony didn't say a word. He looked completely out of it, like a boxer who'd been knocked around the head once too often.

"Okay. I'm going to carry you. I'm taking you home with me. Understand?"

Tony looked around blearily, and his gaze came to rest on his unconscious father. His eyes widened in panic.

"It's okay – he's out cold. He won't wake up for awhile. You're safe now," Leroy told him. "Can you put your arms around my neck?"

Tony nodded mutely and reached his arms up. He clung on to Leroy's neck, and Leroy strained to lift him. Tony wasn't very heavy, but Leroy's injured knee nearly gave way as he stood.

"It will hold," Tessa told him.

"It has to," Leroy replied, as he began limping towards the door with Tony in his arms. Tessa picked up Shanti, holding her gently in her jaws, and followed on behind.

The walk up Main Street in the pouring rain with Tony in his arms seemed to take forever. Leroy could feel the sweat running down his face as his injured leg protested, but he continued on, holding the child tight against his chest, trying to protect him from the worst of the rain.

Jackson was waiting for them on the porch, Meldra clucking anxiously by his side, peering through the storm for sight of them. Leroy staggered the last few steps towards the store, and Jackson ran out into the street.

For once, Jackson didn't make a big fuss. He was often like this in a crisis. He'd tell Leroy off for something small and stupid, like being late home, and go on and on about it for hours, but when something big happened he was solid as a rock. He took one look at Leroy's face, and then at the almost comatose Tony in his arms, and his mouth settled into a grim line.

He moved forward to take Tony, but Leroy gestured him away with an impatient flick of his head. His knee hurt like hell, but he wasn't going to surrender Tony to anyone, not even his own father.

"Hurry then. We need to get you both dried off. And the child needs a bed," Jackson said, running back to the store and holding the door open.

Jackson didn't ask what had happened. Instead, he busied himself lighting the fire in the hearth, putting a pan of milk to warm on the stove, and running upstairs to fetch towels.

Leroy placed Tony on the rug in front of the fire and began stripping off the boy's sodden, vomit-stained clothes. He took the towel his father gave him and dried the child, and then dressed him in one of his own tee shirts that Jackson had given him. It was big enough to come down almost to Tony's knees. Finally, he wrapped Tony in a blanket and sat him down in front of the fire, placing one arm around him.

Jackson brought them both warm milk, and Leroy was relieved to see Tony at least rousing enough to sip it. Beside them, Shanti was stretched out in front of the fire, her damp fur steaming a little, while Tessa washed her gently but thoroughly with her tongue, from the top of her puppy head to the tip of her tail.

Tony's skin was paper white and almost translucent. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he looked exhausted. Leroy kept one arm around him, holding the boy close, warming him with his own body in addition to the heat of the fire.

Leroy had no idea what was going to happen next. He did, however, possess the ability to live in the here and now, and just deal with the crisis at hand.

"You need to get some rest, Tony," he said, watching as Tony's eyelids drooped. Now was not a good time to have a discussion with the boy about what had just happened. Tony made a visible effort to open his eyes, and Leroy smiled down at him. "I'm going to take you up to my room and put you in my bed. Nobody will harm you there. Understood?"

Tony nodded sleepily, and Leroy levered himself up, ignoring the stabbing pain in his now thoroughly protesting knee.

"Do you want me to carry him?" his father asked, hovering anxiously close by.

Leroy shook his head, feeling an overwhelming surge of protectiveness that he couldn't explain.

He picked up the child again, and Tessa nudged Shanti onto her feet, and they made their weary way up the stairs.

His father had placed a hot water bottle in the bed to warm it. Leroy slid Tony between the sheets, and Tessa helped Shanti onto the bed. The puppy crawled into the safety of Tony's arms and settled against his chest.

Leroy turned on the lamp on the nightstand; he didn't want the child waking in the night and freaking out because he was in a strange room. He was about to tiptoe out of the room when Tony spoke for the first time.

"I knew you would come," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Keddon told me to call you. I knew you would hear."

"Keddon?" Leroy turned back with a frown.

"My mother's daemon."

"Your mother…? Your mother's dead, Tony," Leroy said gently, sitting on the bed beside the boy and smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

Tony blinked, looking confused. "Yes," he said softly. "But he told me to call for you, and I did, and you came."

Leroy couldn't make any sense of that, so he just smiled and smoothed the boy's hair some more until he thought Tony was asleep. He got up to go, but Tony reached out a hand and touched his arm, his green eyes beseeching.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to get changed out of these wet clothes, and then I'll be back. Okay?" Leroy told him.

Tony nodded, his eyelids drooping again, and he was asleep before Leroy even reached the door.

Jackson was waiting for him outside with a clean pair of shorts and a tee shirt.

"Do you know what happened?" he asked as Leroy quietly undressed and towelled his damp skin and hair.

"When I got there, his father was stinking drunk and…" Leroy paused, fighting his own emotions. "He had hold of Shanti. He was slapping her around. Tony was almost comatose on the floor. He'd thrown up a few times.

Jackson looked stunned. "He was attacking the child's daemon? The child's own father was beating up on his daemon?"

Leroy gave a taut nod and then retched as the full force of the memory struck him; it was obscene.

"The poor child. No wonder he looked like a drowned rat when you brought him home. But, Leroy…how did you know it was happening? The way you took off – it was as if you could feel that the boy was in trouble."

"I could, somehow. Tessa felt it too." He thought about what Tony had said about calling him – he'd definitely heard the child's voice, screaming his name in his head, but he didn't have an explanation for it. "Tessa says…" he paused, trying to find an explanation that made more sense.
"Tessa says it's because Tony is pack," he said, at last, ducking his head in embarrassment because he had never talked to his father about pack before.

Jackson nodded thoughtfully. "I think I understand, son. See, your daemon is a wolf, so you think in terms of pack, but mine's a bird, and we have flock." Leroy looked up, startled. "I've never talked to you about this before, son, because it's a private thing, between a person and their daemon, but when I look at you I see flock. And I know you don't like me clucking over you, but I can't help it; it's in my nature. And it seems to me that maybe pack isn't so different to flock – you just express it a little differently." Jackson gave a little chuckle. "Listen, Leroy – we might have had our ups and downs, but I want you know that I'm proud of you, son."

Leroy felt himself flushing, and he ducked his head again.

"You always got into such a lot of fights as a kid, and it worried me that you never brought any friends home. I guess you're just not as sociable as me." Jackson shook his head, chuckling to himself. "But I always knew you had a good heart in there, even if others never saw it. I'm proud of how you helped Tony. You're a good boy, Leroy, even if you never want anyone to know."

Leroy rolled his eyes, but he felt warm inside all the same. No matter how different they were, and how many arguments they had, he loved his father and had always wanted him to be proud of him.

He got changed into the clean, dry clothes his father had brought him and then stood up again.

"I'm going to sleep in there with him. I need to…watch over him," he said, not understanding the compulsion but going with it all the same.

"I understand, son." Jackson nodded, patting his arm. "Good night. Sleep well."

Leroy let himself quietly back into the room, Tessa at his side, and then paused in shock.

There, sitting on the bed beside Tony, was a large lioness, with fierce, golden eyes. She wasn't full-grown, but she was far larger than a child's daemon usually was.

"Shanti?" Leroy whispered incredulously. She bared her teeth at him, and Tony turned, whimpering, halfway between asleep and awake, eyes open and looking a little wild. "Shanti – it's me, Leroy," he said, edging cautiously towards her.

"Jethro," Tessa corrected. "Shanti – it's Jethro."

Shanti blinked in acknowledgement and relaxed. She looked massive and regal sitting there, beside Tony, watching over him.

"You're his secret," Leroy guessed. "The one he couldn't talk about. You're the secret shape of his daemon that he doesn't want anyone to see."

Shanti nodded solemnly. "I was wrong," she said, in a much lower, deeper voice than he'd ever heard from her before. "He told me to stay hidden, because he feared his father's temper. I shouldn't have listened. If we had allowed his father to see me like this more often, then maybe tonight wouldn't have happened."

"You…" Leroy remembered the fight the previous day. "You're what scared Chuck Winslow away. I heard this massive roar, but I couldn't see anything, and then when I could you'd changed back."

Shanti's lip curled up in disdain. "He was hurting you. You are our friend. Tony would not stand by and let a friend be hurt."

"But he stood by and let himself be hurt this evening," Leroy said. "You could have changed – you could have challenged his father, stood up to him…in this form, I think he'd have thought twice about attacking you."

"Tony made a promise to his mother. He's been trying very hard to keep it," Shanti said quietly.

"A daemon's shape isn't in a child's control!" Leroy protested.

Tony stirred uneasily, whimpering again, and Shanti gave a low, warning roar. "It isn't easy, but I can do it. Besides, Tony made a promise to his mother, so we kept it."

Leroy got the impression that Tony had loved his mother very much, and he felt sorry for the child all over again for his loss. He knew how it felt.

"Why this particular shape?" he asked. "Why do you only hide the lion?"

Shanti shook her big head, growling softly to herself. "I was in this form one day, and his father found me particularly annoying. There was a big argument." Shanti's golden eyes sparked angrily. "After that, his mother thought it wise that I keep this form hidden, in order to keep the peace. His father doesn't like impudence and when I am in this form I am a challenge. I…roar." She gave an embarrassed little smile. "I answer back. I am..."

"Strong," Leroy finished. "And threatening. And…beautiful." He couldn't help it – she really was.

"Thank you," she said, with a low, rumbling chuckle. She gave a yawn and then rested her head on her large paws. They were too big for her body, as if she still had some growing to do, just like Tony.

This then, was a representation of his true self that Tony had tried so hard to keep hidden, out of a misguided attempt not to antagonize his father. Leroy suddenly understood, on some level, why he had been so drawn to Tony and felt such an immediate sense of connection with the boy; he might have the playfulness of a puppy, the teasing mischief of a cockatiel, and the flitting mind of a butterfly – but he also had the heart and courage of a lion.

"I'm not sure Tony needs us, with you watching over him," Leroy said. "I can go sleep downstairs…"

"No. He wants you here. He has never had a true friend before," she said solemnly.

Leroy gave a little laugh at that. "Yeah, well, neither have I. I mean, I've got my girl, but that's different." He couldn’t explain it, but he felt sure that Shanti somehow knew what he meant; his friendship with Tony went deep – soul deep. He’d touched Tony’s daemon with his bare hands but instead of making the situation worse, or causing Tony to feel sick, it had been healing, restorative and peaceful.

He slid into the bed beside Tony, and Tessa took up position beside Shanti. They looked beautiful together, the wolf and the lioness, lying side by side.

Leroy looked at the child beside him, slumbering uneasily in the lamplight. Tony looked so young and vulnerable, and yet he had this big, proud, brave daemon beside him. It was hard to reconcile the two.

Leroy reached out and smoothed Tony's damp, tousled hair, and the child relaxed at his touch, just as he had the day he’d first met him. He became more at ease and his breathing deepened.

What would happen to him, this strange little boy who had somehow wormed his way into his heart? Leroy couldn't take care of him, and the child's father would no doubt come looking for him tomorrow.

"Sleep. We will watch over you," Tessa told him calmly. "And the morning will take care of itself."

~*~

Tony woke to find himself snuggled up against Shanti's solid, reassuring form.

"Hey," he whispered, stroking her sleek golden fur. "You okay?"

She bent her big lion's head down to nuzzle him gently. "I am fine."

"He was…" Tony felt his stomach clench as he remembered her being thrown against the wall, and kicked, and slapped, and how he'd been unable to reach her. "I'm sorry…I'm so, so sorry…it was my fault he hurt you."

"Hush. You'll throw up again and that stank," she told him, with a familiar gleam of mischief in her eyes. "Also, you’re in Jethro's bed, and I don't think he'd like it."

"Oh hell." Tony sat up suddenly. "Jethro…he mustn't see you like this."

"He already did." She blinked solemnly. "Last night. He slept in here – to watch over you. He got up about half an hour ago. I let him stay because you were tossing and turning; you are calmer when he’s near."

"You also let him stay 'cause you like snuggling up to Tessa," Tony pointed out with a knowing grin. "You've got some weird Tessa-crush going on. You think she's the best daemon in the whole world."

"She is very cool," Shanti agreed, her lion mouth curving up in a semblance of a grin.

"So he saw you…looking like this?" Tony wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

"Your mother wouldn't mind, Tony," Shanti told him softly. "She would understand."

There was a knock at the door before he had a chance to reply to that. Shanti changed into a puppy just as Jackson opened the door and poked his head around it.

“You awake, son? How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Mr. Gibbs.”

“Hey, it’s Jack – or Jackson if we’re being really formal. Don’t know how many times I have to tell you that, Tony!” Jackson gave him a big smile, and Meldra strutted into the room and fluttered up onto the bed. She went over to Shanti and examined her closely.

Jackson chuckled. "We heard that Shanti is good at undercover operations!"

"Undercover opera…" Tony caught on and laughed. "Like on the TV? Like being a cop?" he exclaimed.

"Or a spy," Jackson said, coming into the room. "Guess she's still in hiding, yes? That's a shame – I'd liked to have seen that lion. Damndest thing, a child being able to control his daemon's shape like that."

"I can't control any of her other shapes," Tony told him, as Shanti turned into a butterfly and perched on Meldra's head to illustrate the point. "I just don't like her taking that one when anyone can see her. It's…private."

"Well, you shouldn't have to keep any part of yourself disguised, Tony." Jackson's lips thinned into a straight line of disapproval. "Now, I've brought you your clothes. All washed, dried and ironed overnight by yours truly!" He placed the clothes on the bed. "Get dressed and come downstairs – I have pancakes and bacon cooking – and then we'll see what's to be done about this whole situation."

Tony wasn't sure he liked the sound of that, but from the look in Jackson's eyes it was unavoidable. Jackson shut the door, and Tony dutifully got dressed. Then he went down the stairs with Shanti in puppy form running along at his heels.

"Here's our little secret agent!" Jackson said as he took his place at the dining table.

Leroy was already sitting there, looking even more brooding than usual. His blue eyes flashed at Jackson's words, and he looked at Tony and then, searchingly, at Shanti, who immediately became self-conscious and fell over her own paws. She planted her rump firmly on the carpet and then placed her paws over her eyes to avoid that penetrating gaze. Tony didn’t blame her – Leroy had the most unsettling stare of anyone he'd ever met.

Jackson handed him a plate of delicious smelling food, and Tony was suddenly aware how ravenous he was after throwing up so much the previous night.

"So," Jackson said, sitting back in his chair with Meldra perched on his lap. "I'm going to go take a walk down to the motel in a bit and have a chat with your father, Tony."

Tony glanced up, his mouth full of bacon, feeling panicked.

"What I say to him depends a lot on what you say to me right now," Jackson said.

"What you say to him?" Leroy flared. "Damn it, Dad – the man attacked his own son's daemon! A child's daemon! You have no idea how many times I woke up in the night and wanted to go down to that motel room and take that hyena of his in my hands and wring her neck to show him how it damn well feels!"

"Yes, well, we all know about your temper, Leroy," his father said calmly.

"You see, this –*this* – is what I find so annoying about you!" Leroy flared. "This is a simple case of right or wrong, and you find some way to sit on both sides of the fence."

Jackson sighed. "Not all of us see the world in such stark shades of black and white as you, son."

Leroy flared up again immediately. "That man shouldn't be allowed to have a kid! Nobody should be allowed to beat up on their kid's daemon like that! It's abuse, plain and simple. And Tony's been neglected since he got here! If I hadn't found him roaming around in the woods on his own that first day then who knows what the hell might have happened to him!"

"You'll have a hard time proving that to the authorities, son," Jackson said. “And what do you suggest we do? You can’t just steal away the man’s child – they have a law against that – it’s called kidnapping.”

"Maybe Tony has a relative he can stay with – an uncle or aunt," Leroy suggested. "But he can't go back and live with that bastard. Who knows what will happen if I'm not around to look out for him? He was lucky this time. Last night could have ended differently."

Tony felt a wave of anxiety at all this talk of him living with someone else. "I love my dad," he said quietly.

Leroy and Jackson both turned to look at him.

"He was drunk last night. When he's drunk he gets mean," Tony told them.

"When he's sober he can be pretty mean too – his daemon is always bullying Shanti," Leroy pointed out.

"It's not always like this; only when he's doing business. When he's made a good business deal he can be a lot of fun. He takes me places, does stuff with me."

"Are you saying you want to stay with him?" Leroy demanded incredulously.

Tony doubted that many people would argue with Leroy Jethro Gibbs when he looked like this, but he had to. He took his courage in his hands.

"Yes," he said firmly. Beside him, he was aware of Shanti changing. He put a hand on her head and stroked her soft lion fur. "He's my dad," he said helplessly.

Leroy looked furious. Shanti bared her teeth at Tessa.

"My mom's dead. There's just the two of us. Him and me," Tony said in barely more than a whisper. "It might not be easy between us, but I love him. I can't lose him too."

That seemed to hit home. Leroy glanced at Jackson, and Tessa gently nudged Meldra with her nose.

"Can you understand that?" Tony asked Leroy beseechingly. Leroy looked away, his hands curled into tight fists.

Jackson got up and patted Tony's shoulder. "Oh yes, he can understand that, son," he said softly. Jackson reached for his coat and put it on, then turned to go. "I'll go talk to your dad, Tony. We'll make this right, I promise you."

~*~

Leroy watched his father go, feeling too angry to speak. Then he felt something warm nudging his leg, and he looked down to see Shanti, still in lion form, gently licking Tessa's paw beseechingly with her big, pink tongue.

Leroy sighed and felt his anger dissipating. "Okay, Tony," he said quietly. "I'll let you do this – but on one condition."

Tony's green eyes were round and scared, but he nodded.

"You once made a promise to your mom – now I need you to make a promise to me," Leroy told him fiercely.

Tony's eyes widened even more, and he nodded again.

"I mean it – you have to promise me this," Leroy insisted.

"I do. Whatever you want – I'll promise."

Leroy almost smiled despite himself; Tony trusted him enough to commit to a promise without even knowing what it was.

"You have to let Shanti take her lion form whenever she wants," Leroy said.

Tony shook his head, mutely.

"Look, I know about the promise you made to your mom, but that was a long time ago," Leroy told him urgently. "Things have changed now, and your mom wouldn't want you to keep that promise after what just happened. I know that."

"How do you know?" Tony asked, in a very small voice.

"Because I know she loved you very much and wanted to keep you safe."

"How will Shanti being a lion keep me safe?" Tony asked. "You don't know my dad, or how he can get when he thinks I'm answering back. Shanti's got this roar and…"

"Oh, I've heard Shanti's roar. It frightened Chuck Winslow away, remember? And it stopped me getting my ass totally kicked into the bargain." He gave a self-deprecating little grin. "But the thing is, Tony, I think your father needs to see that side of Shanti too. He's been bullying her for far too long. And when you stand up to bullies, they usually back down."

Tony bit on his lip uncertainly.

"I won't let you go back to your father unless I'm sure he won't hurt you again, the way he did last night," Leroy said firmly. He knew that he had no such authority over Tony's life, but he doubted that Tony knew that. Besides, Tony was pack – he felt that the boy's life was somehow under his protection, and he had a suspicion that Tony felt that way too.

"Let Shanti be whatever she wants to be?" Tony said in a scared voice.

“Yes. Shanti – is that what you want?” Leroy asked.

Shanti nodded. “I told Tony that I don’t like it when he makes me hide. It feels…itchy.”

“There see, and what’s rule number one?” Leroy asked Tony.

“Always listen to your daemon,” Tony said, and Shanti nuzzled his hand with her big head.

"That's right. Promise her, Tony. Promise her that she can be who she is, and that you won't hide her again."

Tony nodded. "I promise," he said solemnly. "I'm sorry, Shanti. I promise I'll never ask you to hide again."

"Good!" Leroy grinned at the boy. "And let her roar if she wants to. Hell, the louder the better! Tessa – you show her how."

Tessa went over to Shanti, sat in front of her, put her head back, and howled. She howled as if it was night and there was a full moon outside. She howled fit to wake the dead. Shanti sat and watched her, a bemused look on her face, and then, suddenly, she threw back her big head and joined in. Her roar was loud and deep compared to Tessa's higher pitched howling, but the two sounded fantastic together.

Leroy gave a laugh of delight and jumped up and grabbed Tony's hand.

"C'mon – let's join in!" he said, and he threw back his own head and yelled at the top of his lungs. He shouted out his anger about his wounded knee, and his irritation at being back home with his dad instead of out being a Marine, which was all he'd ever wanted to be. He howled about hating Chuck Winslow and the terrifying joy of loving Shannon, and he howled out his fury about what Tony's father had done to him.

Tony looked at him as if he'd gone insane but then his green eyes lit up, and he threw back his own head and joined in. The minute he did, Leroy felt as if they were all joined – all four of them –the two humans and their daemons.

He remembered touching Shanti last night and how that had given him a glimpse into Tony's soul. And in Tony's roar he heard the sound of the child's deep grief at the loss of his mother; he heard his fear of his father – and his enduring love for the man too; and he heard something else, something about belonging, and hero-worship, and Shanti having a crush on Tessa that made him laugh out loud even as he howled up at the ceiling.

The howling and roaring descended into giggling, and Leroy grabbed hold of Tony and threw the boy over his shoulder and ran around the room with him. Shanti turned into a cockatiel and rode around on Tessa's back, squawking at the top of her voice – and that was how they were when Jackson returned to the house with Tony's father.

~*~

Leroy went quiet and placed Tony on the floor. Shanti turned into a puppy, and Tony leaned down, scooped her up, and held her protectively against his chest.

His father had a big bruise on his jaw and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked as if he'd been crying, and Tony had a suspicion that Jackson was responsible for that.

"Tony…son…I'm sorry," his father said in a choked voice. Nala slunk into the room behind them, her tail between her legs. "I did a terrible thing last night. I was drunk, and I feel ashamed of myself."

"Will you do it again?" Tony blurted. "Next time you're drunk?"

His father took a deep breath. He was a proud man, and he looked embarrassed – and also a little irritated – about having to do this in front of Jackson and Leroy Gibbs. "No," he said shortly.

Tony gazed at him uncertainly.

"I really won't. I promise," his father said, taking a step towards him.

Shanti immediately turned into a lion and growled at him, and his father stopped dead in his tracks.

"This is what Shanti wants to look like sometimes. And she likes to roar," Tony said defensively, looking at Leroy for support. Leroy stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder, and Tessa came and sat beside Shanti. “She’s loud. Really loud,” Tony added. “I've been keeping her hidden when she's like this, but I’m not going to do that anymore, Dad.”

Nala came over and sniffed at Shanti inquisitively, and Shanti glared at her. Nala gave a little whine.

"If you ever try and lay a finger on her again, then my bet is that you'll be dealing with *this* Shanti, and not that little puppy from last night," Leroy said coldly.

His father's eyes flashed, and Tony was aware of some subtle shift in power happening between them. He didn't really understand it, but he knew it had happened.

"There won't be a repeat of last night," his father said firmly. "I'll make sure of that."

He gave them that bright smile of his, the one that always made Tony feel happy and uneasy at the same time, and Nala wagged her tail and nudged Shanti playfully with her nose.

"Okay, Tony?" His father held out his hand, and Tony gazed at it. Leroy still had his hand on his shoulder, and he squeezed, as if to make it clear that he'd back any decision Tony wanted to make.

Tony knew what he wanted to do though. He ignored the outstretched hand and threw himself into his father's arms instead. His father picked him up and hugged him tight, and Shanti turned into a puppy and ran excitedly around the room.

Tony saw Leroy turning away, and the look of distrust that Tessa gave to Nala, but he tried not to let it get to him. He loved his father, and his father had promised him he wouldn't hurt him or Shanti again. Everything was going to be fine. He tried to ignore the little voice at the back of his mind, reminding him what his father had said the previous day at the restaurant.

"You just go along with people like this…you wear a big smile, say what they want to hear, and charm the socks off them."

Nala glanced up at him, and there was such a happy, genuine look in her hyena eyes that Tony pushed his doubts away. Everything was going to be fine; he was sure of it.

"Let's go home," his father said, putting him down. "Huh, Tony? Let's drive home and make a fresh start. What do you say? You and me together – just the two of us. Yes?"

Tony nodded and held on to his father's hand, chattering away happily, pleased at the idea of going home. Then he realized it would mean leaving Leroy, and he turned back, feeling a wave of sadness.

"I'll go get the car. You say your goodbyes, son," his father told him.

The next few minutes were a haze to Tony. He remembered hugging Jackson tight, all the while looking at Leroy over Jackson's shoulder and wondering why it hurt so much to think he wouldn't ever see him again. He buried his face in Jackson's neck and tried not to think about it.

When Jackson finally put him down, Leroy had disappeared. Tony looked around in panic.

"He's not very good at this kind of thing," Jackson told him gently. "Don't take it personally, Tony."

"I'm not leaving without saying goodbye to him!" Tony ran out of the store and found Leroy stomping off up the road, limping heavily. Tony ran after him, and Shanti, in puppy form, caught up with Tessa and sat down on the sidewalk in front of her, forcing her to a standstill.

Leroy paused and stood there, his back to Tony, every muscle in his body taut, his shoulders shaking.

"Goodbye, Jethro," Tony said softly. "And thank you. I'll never forget you."

Still Leroy didn't turn around. Tessa did though. She limped over to him and sat down in front of him. "We will not forget you. You are pack," she said firmly. Tony wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it sounded important.

Then she leaned forward and licked Tony's hand with her tongue. Tony froze, aware of the great honour being bestowed upon him. You didn't touch another person's daemon – and yet last night Jethro had touched Shanti, and today Tessa was touching him, and both times it felt right.

As Tessa licked him, he had a sudden understanding of what it was like to be Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He felt a wave of loneliness and experienced a pang of fierce, protective love. He saw a woman he didn't know, and her cat daemon – a big ginger tom, not a black cat like Keddon. He knew instinctively that the cat daemon belonged to Leroy's mom, and he was momentarily surprised that their moms’ daemons had shared the same form.

Then he saw himself, and Shannon and Jackson, all gathered close together looking back at him. He realized that he was seeing them as Jethro saw them, as all the people he loved. These were all the people who were under his protection: they were his pack. Now Tony understood what it meant.

"Take care, Tony," Tessa said. She gave him one last lick, and then she turned and followed Leroy up the street.

Tony walked slowly back to the store, feeling strange inside. His father's car was parked outside the store, and Tony said one last goodbye to Jackson and then got in.

The car pulled away, and Tony peered out of the tinted glass window to catch one last glimpse of Jethro as they drove past. Jethro had his collar turned up against the lightly splattering rain, and anyone looking at him would see a moody, limping man with a dark glare on his face. That wasn't what Tony saw though; he had touched Jethro's soul, and he knew the fiercely protective, passionate man within. It hurt to think he'd never see him again.

Tony stayed gazing out of the window until long after Jethro had faded from sight. They left Stillwater and set out on the open road, and then Tony's father looked into the mirror and stared straight at him.

"I can't have you hanging around when I do business, Tony," he said. "It's not working out. I'm going to send you away to boarding school."

Tony heard the words through a haze and slowly came to. "But I thought…you said it was a fresh start – just the two of us."

Nala gave her hyena smile, and his father's words at the restaurant came back to him.

"You wear a big smile and say what they want to hear…"

There was no point in arguing. He turned in his seat, gathered Shanti in his arms, and buried his face in her lion's fur. She licked his face gently, soothing him.

He might have won the battle to be his true self, but somehow he'd lost the fight anyway. Shanti could take this shape whenever she liked, but his father was going to send them away so that he didn't have to see her.

~*~

Leroy walked in the rain for a few hours until his wet clothes and throbbing leg forced him to turn back towards home.

"I have a bad feeling," Tessa said.

"Yeah. I don't think I did the right thing, letting him go."

"You had no choice but to give him back to his father. It was what he wanted."

"It just feels wrong."

"Yes." Tessa nodded. "But you will see him again."

Leroy looked at her sharply. "How do you know that?"

"Because he is pack," she replied simply. "And because you touched each other's souls. You are connected now, and you will see him again, one day. That is what I choose to believe – and you can choose to believe it too."

Leroy placed his hand on her damp fur and gently stroked her head.

"Yes," he said. "One day."

End of Part Three
Part Four
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