Awakenings - very aptly titled! Actually that's one of your strong writing talents - the pacing ... how you slowly unfold the process of change in characters and also how plot events seem to naturally match pace or evolve along with it!
John's introspection at the start is brilliant. I always feel that Sheppard on the show (in Season 1 - I haven't seen Season 2) is a bit slack and sloppy about his attention to things and people, as ranking military officer - sure he's been thrust into it prematurely, but even so I'd like to admire and respect him a little more than I do. I do really hope he gets the chances in the show that you are lavishing on him here!
"and also…I love him. I don't want to squash him." This conversation reminded me of that wonderful speech in Subterfuge Part IV- Saunder's concession 'speech' to Fox in Saunder's bedroom where he makes observations on the nature of their relationship ... a very long leash indeed ... in a state of slavery so benign ... ah! that really is one of the finest speeches you've ever written!! Fond memories sigh!
Lovely tender moment with the General's observations about Rodney's loneliness! That whole conversation is well done with the General turning John's opinions about face each time as well as later with the issue of guilt over Arcturus. Very smoothly done. But I'm glad you had them agree on "You can pretty much tell everything he's thinking by looking in his eyes ..." That's so true of Rodney, especially in highly charged emotional moments.
I'm pleased you had Kolya killed off by the General! Love Protective!/Vengeful!John, and that 'Rodney McKay is not to be messed with!' He's such a dark persona, Robert Davi. He was great in Die Hard Part 1! A real arse/ass!LOL!
The lab lights off! scene works well. Realistic, since too much concern at this stage would be unbelievable and John's curiosity, concern and attraction is only in its infant stages (and of course I've read the fall out of the mission now, so I know he really blew it about protecting Rodney). Ooh! and Rodney's retaliation was so totally "I know where to put the knife"! I think it reflects an understanding of Rodney's razor sharp intelligence. He's such a complex character isn't he? No, he doesn't have great social skills and sometimes he seems so clueless about people but I think he understands sometimes, a lot more than he lets on. I think he is acquainted with grief (his own personal ones) and his rudeness is a protective barrier he erects to distance himself. Your writing really reflects those distinctions. And the fact that this stab sends him scuttling off to the General and his husband's room only reinforces how much John is playing catch up at actually being effective in his role as CMO. Touche!
Loved "Eyes front and centre, Colonel," One military man to another! A warning in language John will grasp immediately! And it's delicately balanced during the interaction with the General and Rodney afterwards ... with those fantasies of a naked, 'pressing' (loved that phrase!) Rodney running through his mind!
to know the human heart. ... I think you perceive it well.
Awakenings feedback
John's introspection at the start is brilliant. I always feel that Sheppard on the show (in Season 1 - I haven't seen Season 2) is a bit slack and sloppy about his attention to things and people, as ranking military officer - sure he's been thrust into it prematurely, but even so I'd like to admire and respect him a little more than I do. I do really hope he gets the chances in the show that you are lavishing on him here!
"and also…I love him. I don't want to squash him."
This conversation reminded me of that wonderful speech in Subterfuge Part IV- Saunder's concession 'speech' to Fox in Saunder's bedroom where he makes observations on the nature of their relationship ... a very long leash indeed ... in a state of slavery so benign ... ah! that really is one of the finest speeches you've ever written!! Fond memories sigh!
Lovely tender moment with the General's observations about Rodney's loneliness! That whole conversation is well done with the General turning John's opinions about face each time as well as later with the issue of guilt over Arcturus. Very smoothly done. But I'm glad you had them agree on "You can pretty much tell everything he's thinking by looking in his eyes ..." That's so true of Rodney, especially in highly charged emotional moments.
I'm pleased you had Kolya killed off by the General! Love Protective!/Vengeful!John, and that 'Rodney McKay is not to be messed with!' He's such a dark persona, Robert Davi. He was great in Die Hard Part 1! A real arse/ass!LOL!
The lab lights off! scene works well. Realistic, since too much concern at this stage would be unbelievable and John's curiosity, concern and attraction is only in its infant stages (and of course I've read the fall out of the mission now, so I know he really blew it about protecting Rodney). Ooh! and Rodney's retaliation was so totally "I know where to put the knife"! I think it reflects an understanding of Rodney's razor sharp intelligence. He's such a complex character isn't he? No, he doesn't have great social skills and sometimes he seems so clueless about people but I think he understands sometimes, a lot more than he lets on. I think he is acquainted with grief (his own personal ones) and his rudeness is a protective barrier he erects to distance himself. Your writing really reflects those distinctions. And the fact that this stab sends him scuttling off to the General and his husband's room only reinforces how much John is playing catch up at actually being effective in his role as CMO. Touche!
Loved "Eyes front and centre, Colonel," One military man to another! A warning in language John will grasp immediately! And it's delicately balanced during the interaction with the General and Rodney afterwards ... with those fantasies of a naked, 'pressing' (loved that phrase!) Rodney running through his mind!
to know the human heart. ... I think you perceive it well.