xanthefic: (ncis trust & consequences)
xanthefic ([personal profile] xanthefic) wrote2009-10-18 07:10 am
Entry tags:

Fic: Two Masters - 22/22



Two Masters
By Xanthe
Part Twenty-Two

Tony played with his cufflinks. He wasn't sure if he was nervous, or angry, or sad, or what the hell he was feeling. Gibbs was a solid presence by his side, as they walked into the restaurant, but that wasn’t much comfort.

Tony wasn’t sure what he expected of this meeting Gibbs had arranged. He and his father weren’t estranged - he still saw the man every so often. Once a year usually – Thanksgiving or Christmas. That was mainly because his father’s third wife had a soft spot for him and talked him into it. He and his father exchanged small talk and, if Tony was in a mood for a fight, he’d start one just for the sake of it. He knew it was childish, and he’d never really known what he was trying to achieve by it. It was just something he did. This meeting would be different. It would be honest if nothing else – and DiNozzo men preferred avoidance to honesty any day, so they’d both be out of their comfort zone. It wasn’t a happy prospect.

They were early, and his father hadn’t arrived yet, so they waited at the bar.

“I’ll have a whisky,” Tony growled.

“Two mineral waters,” Gibbs told the barman.

Tony glared at him. “It’s not like you have a great track record where liquor is concerned,” he snapped. “Amount of times you've mainlined bourbon while working on that boat of yours.”

Gibbs turned and gave him the death glare.

"Wish you'd let me wear my collar," Tony muttered, pulling at his shirt. He didn’t like the feel of his neck without the comforting reassurance of the collar. They'd had an argument about it before they left the house, but Gibbs had insisted that Tony wear the key on the thong instead of the collar, just in case the collar showed. Gibbs didn't want any distractions from whatever the hell it was he expected Tony and his father to talk about.

"If I'm gonna go through with this, then I'd at least like to know it's because I'm your collared sub and haven't got a damn choice," Tony added petulantly.

"There's always a choice, Tony," Gibbs told him blandly. "You can safe word your way out of this if you want."

Tony glared at him. "Yeah. Right. You know I won’t do that. Bastard."

"Guilty as charged." Gibbs glanced at his watch. "It's early. Your dad won't show for another half an hour. With me," he ordered.

“Where are we going?”

Gibbs didn’t answer, so Tony had no choice but to follow his dom into the restaurant's men's room, wondering what the hell Gibbs had planned. The men’s room was empty. Gibbs shoved him into a stall and locked the door behind them.

"Suck me," he said.

"WHAT?"

"You heard. Do it." Gibbs put his hands on Tony's shoulders and pushed him down. Tony checked the floor but it was spotless, so he went down onto his knees.

"I can't believe you're making me do this NOW," he grumbled.

"You might not be wearing my collar, but you're still my damn sub, and I want you to suck me. So do it," Gibbs ordered.

Tony glared up at his dom in mute rebellion, but then gave in and opened Gibbs's fly.

"It isn't normal for anyone to be this horny," Tony complained, as Gibbs's semi-erect cock sprang out. "You already fucked me this morning and now…unmph…"

Gibbs took hold of Tony’s head and slid his cock into his mouth, effectively shutting him up. Tony continued glaring at him, but that wasn't easy when he was having his mouth so comprehensively fucked. In the end he surrendered, and started to relax at the familiar sensation of taking his dom's big, smooth cock in his mouth. He closed his eyes and sucked down, enjoying the way Gibbs was exercising his authority. He had no idea why he found it such a turn on, but he did.

He forgot about the imminent meeting with his father, forgot about everything except the feel of his dom's large cock sliding between his lips. It seemed to soothe him, and before long he'd zoned out to the rhythmic thrusts of Gibbs’s hips against his face. Gibbs took his time, and when he finally came Tony enjoyed the taste of his warm come. He swallowed it down and then cleaned up Gibbs's cock with little laps of his tongue. Then he tucked Gibbs’s cock back into his pants and zipped him up.

Gibbs looked down on him, one hand stroking his hair. "Better now?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Mmmm," Tony said softly. "Yeah. Sorry about earlier. I was…"

"I know." Gibbs pulled him to his feet and took Tony’s chin firmly between his fingers, making him look at him. "But you'll do fine. I want you to know that I’m damn proud of ya, Tony."

Tony rested his head on his dom's shoulder, feeling that warm, happy sensation he always got whenever Gibbs praised him. Fuck his father! This man here had given him more than his father ever had. Gibbs loved him for who he was, including all his failings. He’d filled up all those aching holes in Tony’s soul and made him feel at peace with himself.

"Love you, Boss," Tony muttered.

"I know. Now let's get out there and do this, Tony."

They walked back into the restaurant a few minutes later, side by side, moving completely in synch with each other. Tony glanced around – and his heart skipped a beat. There, coming towards him, was a familiar figure. He took a deep breath and stepped forwards.

It was time to finally face this.

~*~

Gibbs watched as DiNozzo set eyes on his son. He saw the way the older man flinched at the sight of the bruises on Tony’s face – he guessed they were all too vivid reminders of why he was here.

He was surprised when Tony’s father kissed him on both cheeks. Somehow, he’d imagined a formal handshake would be more his style, but it was clear there was some degree of familiarity and affection here, however strained.

“Dad. Good journey?” Tony asked, making small talk as they were ushered to their table.

“Fine, fine. But you…son…Gibbs told me you’d been hurt, but it looks bad. That job of yours…”

“Yeah, I know…if only I’d taken that office job you offered me then I wouldn’t get shot, beaten up, and infected with the plague on a regular basis, huh?” Tony managed a faint grin. “Didn’t get the bruises because of work though, Dad.”

“Then how did you get them?” DiNozzo looked like he didn’t really want to know but had to ask anyhow.

“I was an idiot.” Tony grinned, glancing at Gibbs. Gibbs gave a wry grunt.

“When Gibbs told me you’d been hurt, I wasn’t sure what to expect. How did it happen?”

“I was chasing demons,” Tony replied bluntly. “From the past. I got hurt. I think that was kind of the point.”

Gibbs was proud of him for taking the bull by the horns so early in the conversation. DiNozzo reached for his napkin, and Gibbs noticed that his hand was trembling.

“So that’s why we’re here,” DiNozzo said quietly. “That’s why you told Gibbs…”

“About our dirty laundry? Yeah. That’s why. The boss here is a master at interrogations. I couldn’t hold out for long.” Tony glanced at Gibbs who gave him a rueful grin in return.

DiNozzo cleared his throat. “We never talked about what happened after your mom died, Tony.”

“No, Dad. We never did.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Then DiNozzo's gaze flickered towards Gibbs; he seemed flustered by Gibbs's presence.

“You want me here for this, Tony?” Gibbs asked. “I could go sit by the bar if you want some privacy.”

“No. I want you to stay,” Tony told him firmly.

Gibbs nodded and sat back in his chair. He didn’t intend to say anything unless necessary. He was just here as a support for Tony. He didn't give a damn what Tony's father wanted.

“I’ve been rehearsing this speech for the entire journey, but now I’m here…” DiNozzo’s eyes glittered. “And seeing you…like that…” he gestured towards Tony’s bruised face. “I forget what I was going to say." He hesitated, looking completely out of his depth. Gibbs guessed he wasn't used to baring his soul or apologising to anyone. "I can only tell you of a father’s deep shame and remorse,” he continued, in a hoarse but sincere tone of voice.

Tony was playing with his napkin, folding it into squares. He wasn’t even looking at his father. He looked pale and tense – Gibbs couldn’t begin to guess what he was feeling.

“I could blame the drink,” his father continued. “But that would be the easy way out, and I want to prove to your boss that I'm not the coward he thinks I am. I take responsibility for my actions, Tony. You didn’t deserve what I did to you during those terrible months after... You weren’t to blame. It wasn’t your fault.”

Tony looked up for the first time. “Mom…”

“You weren’t to blame,” DiNozzo repeated. “It was an accident.”

“If I hadn’t got myself expelled just to get your attention, if I hadn’t argued with her in the car, if…”

DiNozzo sighed. “We all have our ‘what ifs’, Tony. Do you think I don’t? I used to ask myself why *I* didn't go and collect you from school that day. And what if we hadn’t both neglected you while you were at boarding school? We could have visited more…written more…But it’s too late. We are who we are, and we made the mistakes we made.” DiNozzo gave a fatalistic little shrug. “There’s more…something I’m not sure you know…I don’t know if Gibbs told you.”

Tony frowned. “Told me what?”

“The car hadn’t been serviced in a long time – we were struggling financially. It was easier to put it off until another day. The brakes weren’t in good working order…”

“Wait.” Tony put up his hand. “Are you telling me…Mom died because of faulty brakes?” He looked at Gibbs for confirmation.

“It was in the police report.” Gibbs shrugged. “Might not have caused the accident, but it was probably contributory.”

“All these years, you let me believe it was my damn fault, and it turns out it was the fucking brakes?” Tony’s voice had become raised, and he stared at his father in angry confusion.

“I didn’t know you blamed yourself until Gibbs told me,” his father replied. “I didn’t want to reopen old wounds by bringing it all up.”

“Then Gibbs is right – you are a fucking coward, Dad,” Tony said bitterly. “Christ…all these years…” He ran his hands through his hair.

“I didn’t know!” his father said vehemently. “Your mom took care of all those things while I ran the business. She took care of the household bills, the car…”

“So now it’s Mom’s fucking fault?” Tony demanded incredulously.

“No.” Gibbs cut through the emotional intensity of the conversation. “It was an accident, Tony. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“You bullied me, Dad,” Tony said, his face white. “You bullied me, and I fucking let you because I was so damn scared of losing you too…” Tony broke off. “All my life, all I wanted was for you to give a shit about me…for you to give one fucking sign that you love me…”

“I did. I do,” his father said hoarsely. “We might not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I do love you, Tony. You’re my son.”

“Yeah. Well.” Tony looked nonplussed. He glanced at Gibbs. “Then why does it mean more to me when *he* says he’s proud of me, than it ever would if you did, Dad? Not that you ever have.”

DiNozzo looked as if someone had stabbed a knife in his gut. Gibbs winced; that had to have hurt.

“I didn’t come here to talk about your life, Tony, or the choices you’ve made. I came here to apologise for that one thing…that one thing I did that was inexcusable. I understand your anger, but I won’t apologise for anything else. I did my best for you even when you were behaving like a spoilt brat. You never gave an inch. You were so damn stubborn.”

“Yeah, well, I guess in that, at least, I take after my father,” Tony replied with a sardonic grin.

“You think I should have given you a free pass because of what happened after your mom died?” his father demanded. “You think I should have stood by and let you party your life away and fritter my money down the drain just because of that?”

“No, but some support for my chosen career would have been nice,” Tony said bitterly.

“I was never convinced you wanted to be a cop for any other reason than the guns and the car chases. I blame it on those stupid police shows you used to watch. That one about the private eye that you were so obsessed with - what was it called?”

“Magnum,” Tony said, and then he glanced at Gibbs with a tight little grin. “Yeah. Magnum. I think that’s the right word for now.”

“Your call," Gibbs said. "Whatever you decide, I'm with you, Tony."

Tony threw his napkin onto the table and got up. “I think we’re done here, Dad.”

“Tony!” DiNozzo got to his feet too. Gibbs watched as the man struggled – visibly – with his pride. DiNozzo stood there, looking at Tony, and then, suddenly, his expression changed as his gaze lingered on the many multi-coloured bruises on Tony’s face.

Gibbs remembered asking him if he’d be able to see the child he’d once hurt so badly, and not the grown-up son who had disappointed him so much. Now, for the first time, he thought that DiNozzo was doing just that.

DiNozzo reached out, blindly, and put his shaking hands on either side of Tony’s face. Tony didn’t move.

“I'm sorry, son,” DiNozzo said in a choked voice. He gently stroked the bruise by Tony’s left eye with his thumb. “I am so, so sorry.”

Something in Tony seemed to break. He gave a nod, his eyes glistening. Then he leaned forward and pressed a kiss on each of his father’s cheeks, Italian style.

“I’ll call,” he said hoarsely. “Give me a few weeks, but I’ll call. I promise.”

His father didn’t seem to have any words left, and neither, Gibbs suspected, did Tony. Gibbs put a hand on Tony’s shoulder and steered his sub towards the door. As he left, he glanced over his shoulder, saw Tony’s father watching them, and gave him a nod of acknowledgement. The man had done what he'd promised he'd do, and for that, at least, Gibbs gave him some respect. There were no magic wands, but this, maybe, was as good as it got.

It was a start.

~*~

Tony strode out into the parking lot, Gibbs beside him, hand still on his shoulder.

"How ya doing, Tony?"

Tony turned to face him. He put his arms on his hips and gazed around the parking lot.

"How am I doing? I have no idea. I'm angry, and sad, and fucking furious, and kind of okay too…and...Christ, my father freaking well apologised! You have no idea what that means. He's like you – he never, ever apologises. For anything. Not to me anyway!"

Gibbs leaned against the car, watching him.

"It didn't fix anything. I'm not sure it changed anything, but maybe it moved something that was stuck. I dunno. It got it out there – this silent *thing* between us. This thing that happened that we never, ever talk about. Y'know, sometimes I even used to wonder if it DID actually happen the way I remembered it. Maybe I was delusional. The fact that he never mentioned it, and I never dared…"

Tony turned around wildly. All the tension of the past few hours had broken, leaving him with a wild surge of excess energy.

"Christ, I wanna run, or fuck, or *do* something," he growled. Then, without warning, he slammed the palm of his hand onto the side of the car, so hard it made it rock. "The brakes? The fucking brakes?" he asked incredulously. "After all these years of thinking…and him letting me think…and the damn brakes didn't work properly? Shit!" He hit the car again. Gibbs just watched him, impassively.

Tony stood there, his chest heaving, looking at the ground. "He said he loved me."

"Yeah. He did."

"And I didn't *feel* anything." Tony looked up. "Why didn't I feel anything, Gibbs?"

"Too many other things to feel?" Gibbs suggested. "It'll take some time for this to all settle down in your head, Tony. Maybe you won't know how you feel about it for awhile. But at least it's done. At least you faced it – both of you."

"I guess." Tony hugged his arms around his body. "And you have no idea what a miracle that is. We're DiNozzo men – avoidance is our speciality."

"Not any more," Gibbs grunted. "C'mon – I'm starving, and we didn't eat anything back there. Let's go get some food."

"Pizza?" Tony raised a hopeful eyebrow. Gibbs grinned.

They bought take out and took it home with them. Tony talked the entire way back in the car and continued talking as they sat down on the couch with the pizza.

He felt strangely light-headed, as if some great weight had been lifted from him. He didn't want to think about the meeting with his father in too much detail right now, because Gibbs was right, it'd take a while for it all to sink in.

"Dad was right about one thing - I did want to be a cop because of Magnum," he said as he chewed on a slice of pepperoni pizza. "Well…he was partly right." He grinned. "The car chases, the guns, the hot women – they were definitely a big part of the appeal. But you wanna know the biggest one?"

"Uh-huh."

"Tom Selleck." Tony grinned. "I might not have admitted to myself that I was bisexual until I met you, but, man, that was one hot guy. Not many guys can carry off a moustache like that, either…uh, present company excepted, Boss, although I really prefer you without it, but…" He paused. "What was I talking about?"

"Damned if I know," Gibbs grunted. "I'm just letting you ramble on. I figure you'll run out of steam sometime soon."

"Perhaps I should grow a moustache," Tony mused, barely listening to him.

"No," Gibbs said firmly.

"Or a beard…I'd like to look different, like someone else."

"Still be you."

"Yeah…but sometimes, I wonder what it'd be like to be free of all the shit in my brain for awhile. To pretend to be someone else...Like when we go undercover, y'know? I love going undercover – well, except that crazy, mixed-up shit with Jeanne. But the regular stuff – the one-off things – those are cool. You should let me go undercover more often, Boss. I'm good at it."

"I know." Gibbs took another slice of pizza. He gave Tony a thoughtful look. "But I have a better idea."

"You do?" Tony looked up.

"Oh yeah. I didn't have anything planned for the rest of the day – wasn't sure how you'd feel after that meeting. But you have some excess energy to burn and after the few days you've had you could do with some R&R."

“What did you have in mind?" Tony asked, intrigued.

"Well, as you're lookin' and feeling better – I think it's time to play."

"Playing sounds good. It is our sex vacation after all," Tony agreed with a lascivious grin. "Did you have a certain game in mind, Jethro?"

Gibbs grinned. "Oh yeah. You ready for this though, Tony? 'Cause I play to win..."

~*~

Several hours later, Gibbs walked into the bar and looked around. He'd given Tony his head – told him he could be whoever he wanted, but to do it properly, as if he was going undercover; name, clothes, back story – all of it.

Then he'd left him to it. The only stipulation was that Tony be in this particular gay bar tonight, at 8 p.m. Gibbs couldn't see him, so he figured he'd got here first. He went over to the bar and ordered a drink, glancing around to make sure he hadn't missed his sub.

There was a sound over by the door, and Gibbs glanced up, looked away - and then looked back again, his jaw hanging open.

He almost laughed out loud. Only Tony…

His sub – his beautiful, wilful, strong, independent, irritating, stubborn, complicated, fucked up, funny, sexy, infuriating sub – was standing there, dressed in full service dress whites. Every detail of his enlisted sailor's jumper whites was correct, from the bell-bottom pants to the tar flap collar, black silk neckerchief, and the Dixie cup hat.

Gibbs was used to seeing every variety of naval uniform during the course of his job, but nothing prepared him for the sight of his sub in this particular outfit. The white looked good on Tony, but there was something so inherently sexual about the way he moved that made him look like a caricature of a sailor. Gibbs suspected that if Tony walked onto an actual ship looking like that, he'd either be thrown overboard or find himself ensconced as the Captain's cabin boy pretty damn quick.

Gibbs sat back in his chair and watched everyone else in the bar watching Tony as he walked confidently across to the bar and ordered a drink. Tony was too tall, too broad, and too good-looking to go unnoticed in a gay bar wearing that outfit. Gibbs fought back a possessive growl as the denizens of the bar gaped at him.

Tony gazed around the room, looking nonchalant, although he was obviously totally aware of the effect he was having on everyone. His gaze fell on Gibbs, lingered there for a second, moved on…then came back in an obvious double take. Gibbs gave a little grin – Tony wasn't the only one who'd dressed up tonight.

The barman brought Tony's drink, and Gibbs moved fast. He walked over to where Tony was perched on a bar stool and opened his wallet, revealing the huge wad of cash he'd brought with him this evening.

"This one's on me," he said, sliding the money across the bar.

Tony looked him up and down as if he'd only just seen him. "No thanks. I buy my own drinks," he said in a cool, dismissive tone.

Gibbs fought down an urge to slap him. Trust Tony to make this difficult. Of course his sub would insist on playing him. Gibbs didn't mind – he knew how to handle Tony, and he wanted this to be a good evening for them both. They needed some fun after all they'd been through lately.

"Not in my bar," he said.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "You own this bar?"

"Hell, I own half the city," Gibbs told him, leaving his wallet open so that Tony could see the cash inside.

"And the people in it?" Tony asked.

"If they're for sale." Gibbs looked him up and down. "You for sale, kid?" Two could play at this game.

"Kid?" Tony glared at him in outrage, almost breaking character.

Gibbs bit back a laugh and shrugged. "Ya look like a little boy lost in that uniform, sonny." He leaned in and spoke directly into Tony's ear. "Like a kid playing dress up."

"Some people find the uniform sexy," Tony replied icily.

Gibbs grinned. “Oh you look good in it, kid. Bet you look even better out of it."

Tony leaned back on the bar. He picked up his bottle of beer and sucked on the rim suggestively, looking at Gibbs the entire time, a sexy gleam in his eyes. Gibbs bit down a groan as the gesture went straight to his cock.

"Oh I do." Tony put his head back and drank from the bottle, his adam's apple bobbing enticingly. His throat was exposed against the crisp white uniform, and Gibbs wanted nothing more than to suck on it. Damn Tony for turning up here looking like *that* and then playing hard to get. He'd make him pay for it later, but for now, he had to admit that it was turning him on beyond belief.

"And how much does it cost to get you out of it?" Gibbs asked.

The barman shot him a look of disbelief, rolling his eyes silently, and then went to serve another customer.

"What makes you think I'm for sale?" Tony challenged.

Gibbs gave him a predatory grin. "Everyone's for sale – if the price is right." He flicked through the contents of his wallet ostentatiously.

He saw Tony's eyes glitter in excitement as he watched the gesture. He knew Tony was remembering that time in the elevator, what felt like a lifetime ago, when he'd confessed his rent boy fantasy to Gibbs. Gibbs wanted to give him that fantasy, and he wanted it to be good –Tony deserved it.

"I'm expensive," Tony told him.

"But worth every dime," Gibbs replied, looking Tony up and down like he was mentally undressing him. He saw the bulge in Tony's pants get a little more prominent and knew this was turning his sub on. "Kid like you…I figure you know some pretty good tricks."

Tony was looking at him like he wanted to tear Gibbs out of the fancy, expensive suit he was wearing and do the deed on the bar-room floor.

"You figure right," Tony murmured throatily. He pressed the cold beer bottle against his throat, leaving behind little droplets that Gibbs wanted to lick away.

"You got a name?" Gibbs asked.

"Gus," Tony replied, a cheeky look in his eyes. Gibbs could have throttled him – he was daring Gibbs to break character by using the name he'd chosen in a previous undercover op. Gibbs bit back his bark of laughter and gave him a hard stare.

"Gus? Suits you," he said.

Tony narrowed his eyes, clearly disappointed that he'd failed to trip Gibbs with his choice of name. But Gibbs was a veteran of many an undercover op, and he knew exactly how to play them. True, he'd never been on one this sexually charged, but there was no way he was letting Tony win this game. It only ended one way as far as Gibbs was concerned. If anyone broke character tonight, it wasn't going to be Gibbs.

"You?" Tony asked.

"Shane," Gibbs told him.

Gibbs could see Tony struggling not to burst out laughing on the spot.

"S…hane?" he queried, jaw twitching furiously. "Like in the movie? Alan Ladd?"

"Yup. My folks loved that movie – they went to see it on their first date," Gibbs said smoothly. He'd prepared for this well – but he'd had no idea it'd be *this* much fun.

"Shane. Okay – could have been worse, I guess," Tony said, nodding thoughtfully. "Your folks could have called you Leroy. Or Jethro. Or something like that."

Oh, he was just asking for trouble. Gibbs moved fast; he grabbed the bottle out of Tony's hand and slammed it down on the bar, pushing Tony's legs apart at the same time. Then he moved in close, his groin pressing against Tony's. He could feel the heat of his sub's arousal through the cool fabric of his uniform.

"Enough small talk. We've already established that you're for sale – name your price and let's get on with this, Gus."

"Easy there, Shane." Tony put a hand on his shoulder, but Gibbs refused to be pushed back.

"You want some up front? That it?" Gibbs took a couple of crisp fifties from his wallet. He waved them under Tony's nose, then folded them, and slid them provocatively down the front of Tony's pants. Tony gulped. "That enough of a down payment on your no doubt very expensive services?" Gibbs asked dangerously.

"Uh…yeah," Tony said feebly. "That'll do for starters."

"Then let's go." Gibbs drew back, replacing his wallet in his jacket pocket.

"Where?" Tony asked.

Gibbs grinned. "Your place."

He didn't want them doing this back at his house – it was too familiar. He wanted somewhere they'd never made love before – and Tony's apartment was the ideal venue. Tony seemed to think so too, as his eyes lit up at the prospect.

"I'll follow you there," Gibbs said, striding out of the bar.

He had a raging erection all the way there. Just the thought of Tony in that white uniform, *teasing* him that way in the bar…

He got out of his car in the parking lot and followed Tony up some stairs, his eyes fixed on Tony's ass in those tight white pants. God, he couldn't wait to get his hands on his sub and *peel* him out of that uniform.

Tony let them into the apartment, and Gibbs slammed the door shut behind them and immediately got hold of Tony and shoved him against the nearest wall, nearly knocking off his hat in the process.

He pressed his hands against that crisp white uniform, enjoying the heat of Tony's skin through the cool fabric. He kissed Tony hard, keeping him pinned up against the wall. When finally he released him, Tony was gazing at him in shock.

"You charge extra for kissing?" Gibbs smirked, getting out his wallet. "Here." He stuffed another fifty down Tony's pants. "Now…let me see what my money's bought me." He sat down on the couch, legs wide open, and released his aching cock from the tight confines of his suit pants. "C'mere, Gus."

Tony came towards him, grinning at the sight of Gibbs's massive erection.

"Not bad," he said. "Seen bigger though."

"The hell you have," Gibbs snorted.

Tony laughed. "Okay. You got me. Nobody's bigger than that. So, Shane, what kind of things do you like?"

"Come here, and you'll find out."

Gibbs beckoned him close, and, when he was within reach, he grabbed hold of Tony's wrist and pulled him between his open legs. He undid Tony's uniform pants and pulled them down, releasing Tony's own impressive erection. Like him, Tony wasn't wearing any underwear.

"I want you to ride me, sailor," Gibbs told him gruffly, his voice thick with lust. He pulled a tube of lubricant out of his pocket and spread some on his own fingers, then handed the tube to Tony. "Lube yourself. I want to watch."

He sat back and slid the lube over his cock, coating it completely. He played with his cock, watching intently as Tony slid slippery fingers into his own ass. When Tony was done, Gibbs took hold of his arm and pulled him towards him.

"You want me to undress?" Tony asked.

"Hell no! I paid for a sailor, and that's who I wanna fuck. Now get your ass on my cock, Gus."

He pulled Tony onto his lap, adjusting him so that he was poised over his cock. They'd never done this position before, and Gibbs was incredibly aroused by it; he could see Tony was too. Tony lowered himself onto Gibbs's cock, guiding its tip into his hole. Gibbs put his hands on Tony's hips and tugged him down – hard. Tony gave a squeak as Gibbs entered him, pulling Tony down so that he was fully sheathed in one smooth move. It felt sublime. Gibbs blinked at the intensity of the sensation.

He gave a groan as Tony moved his hips sinfully, sliding up and down on Gibbs's cock. Gibbs ran his hands over Tony's uniformed body, inhaling the scent of starch combined with the heady smell of Tony's arousal.

"Ride me," he panted. "That's it, Gus…ride me…make it good…"

He sat back and watched as Tony did just that, moving up and down on his lap, riding his cock hard, milking him for all that he was worth. Tony was still wearing the Dixie cup hat, and although his pants had been discarded, the rest of his uniform was intact, from the black silk neckerchief down to the shiny leather shoes.

He looked so incredibly sexy in that uniform, as he rocked up and down on Gibbs's hard cock. Gibbs couldn't hold on – he came with an explosive shout, shooting up into Tony's warm body. Tony sank down on him one last time and came to rest there, with Gibbs's softening cock still inside his ass. The hat finally fell off as Tony rested his forehead against his dom's, both of them panting hard.

"Shit that was good," Tony moaned. "The angle…we have to do this again, Boss."

Gibbs gave a little shout of victory. "You broke character first, Tony, so I win."

"Damn it!"

"Those were the rules," Gibbs said smugly.

"What is it with you and rules anyway?" Tony gathered up the wad of notes Gibbs had given him and handed them back to him. "There you go. Your winnings. And I worked so hard for them too." He gave a mournful little sigh.

"If we'd actually been undercover, that slip-up could have got you killed, Tony," Gibbs told him cheerfully.

"Hate to point it out to you, Boss, but we never go on undercover missions that require us to have hot sex. Anyway, you already pretty much did kill me in case you hadn’t noticed. Shane!" he snorted. "What the hell…?"

"Gus?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

Tony laughed. "I thought you'd enjoy that." He slowly rose up from Gibbs's lap. "Did you like the uniform?" he asked, gesturing to the service dress whites.

"Oh yeah. Hell yeah." Gibbs nodded appreciatively.

"And you wore the suit I bought for you!" Tony fingered the sleek fabric appreciatively. "And the navy blue shirt – looks damn sexy, Boss."

"Thought the clothes went with the wealthy businessman persona." Gibbs grinned.

"You look all shiny and scrubbed up. Even your hair looks different." Tony ran his fingers through it suspiciously. "Gel, right? You're wearing gel?"

"Yeah."

"So…" Tony glanced down at his still proudly erect cock. "Do I get to come tonight, or does the winner really take it all?"

"Oh, I think I can afford to be generous." Gibbs opened his legs wide, pulled Tony so that he was standing between them, and enveloped his cock in his mouth with one smooth motion of his head. Tony gave a startled shout and gripped onto his shoulders.

Gibbs deep-throated him expertly for a short amount of time – which was all it took before Tony came explosively, moaning and whimpering in pleasure, his body convulsing. Gibbs swallowed his come and then released him, and Tony threw himself down on the couch beside his dom.

"Wow, who'd have thought, a few months ago, that I'd end up having such amazing sex on this couch with you," he muttered wearily, leaning against his dom's shoulder.

"Miss the place? Wanna spend the night here?" Gibbs asked.

Tony looked around the room. "Nah," he said softly. "I'd like to go home, Jethro."

Home. There was something about the way he said it that made Gibbs feel warm inside. Tony clearly didn't view this place as his home any more.

They'd come a long way these past couple of months, and there had been times, God knows, when Gibbs had wondered if they'd make it this far. Now, he couldn't imagine his life without Tony in it – and he knew that Tony felt the same way. Gibbs leaned over and kissed his sub's mouth.

"Sure, Tony. Let's go home."

~*~

Tony stood on the landing at Murray's Bar, gazing down at the heaving throng of people below. He could hardly believe that it had only been a couple of months since he'd first stood here, wondering what the hell he was doing – and what the hell he wanted. So much had happened since then, and his life had changed beyond all recognition.

He fingered the collar around his neck. Now he was owned. He belonged to someone – no, not just *someone*. He belonged to Gibbs; that made all the difference.

This place was where it had all begun – and yet it might so easily not have happened. He went cold as he thought of what might have been if Brad Yates hadn't conveniently died, and if he hadn't, just as conveniently, had that private members' card in his wallet for Tony to find.

"Thank you, Commander Yates!" Tony made a little salute into the air. He liked to think that the ghost of the dead commander was smiling down on him. The guy had been a dom after all, and Tony liked to think he had a soft spot for subs like himself.

But if he'd bottled out that night – if he hadn't come here, used the card to get in, and if Hammer hadn't called Walter…Tony shivered. It didn't bear thinking about.

"Hey – Tony!" He saw Walter bounding up the stairs towards him, and then he was pulled into a warm bear hug.

"Happy Birthday!" Tony pressed a little box into Walter's hand. "Dad," Tony added with a grin. Walter cuffed the back of his head affectionately.

"Jethro not with you?" Walter asked, looking around.

"Nah. You know him – he hates these scene things," Tony said with a shrug. "There's something weird about a guy that prefers sanding down a lump of wood to a good party, but you know what he's like."

"Yeah. He's an anti-social bastard," Walter agreed. "And I wouldn't change him for the world."

"Me neither." Tony grinned.

Walter opened the present Tony had given him and looked at the beautiful gold cuff links nestled inside with genuine pleasure.

"Thank you, Tony. They're exquisite."

"They're from both of us," Tony pointed out.

"Yeah – but you chose them, right?" Walter raised an amused eyebrow.

"Hell yeah! Like I'd let Gibbs loose in a store by himself!"

Tony looked Walter up and down. The big man was wearing an outfit very similar to the one he'd worn for that pirate theme night. Tony glanced down at his own more conservative outfit of jeans and his favourite clubbing shirt. The soft black collar around his neck was the only remotely kinky thing he was wearing.

"I'm not dressed right for this," he said mournfully, looking down at the people below, who all seemed to be clad in a variety of rubber, leather, or fantasy outfits.

"You look fine. It's my party – there's no dress code. Jethro wouldn't let you out in anything more revealing, huh?" Walter grinned.

"Nah," Tony sighed. "I don't mind. I'm not really that comfortable being on display for anyone but him. Makes me feel weird."

"You're a sensualist – not an exhibitionist," Walter told him, patting his arm. "I gotta go mingle. Fox is around somewhere – go find him – he'll want to catch up with you."

"Sure. Okay." Tony nodded. "Hey Walter?" Walter turned back. "Uh…" Tony flushed. "I…uh, just wanted to say thanks. For taking me under your wing. For helping get me and Gibbs together. I know Gibbs was your friend first – but you've been a good friend to me too."

Walter came back over to him and put his hands on Tony's shoulders. "Well you're a good kid, Tony. I could see that the minute I first met you. Fucked up as all hell, but you've got a good heart. I liked you then, and I like you even more now. And don't thank me – seeing you here now, looking so damn happy – that's all the thanks I need, son."

He kissed Tony's cheek affectionately and then disappeared back down the stairs and into the throng below.

Tony stayed where he was, leaning on the rail, gazing down into the bar.

He remembered standing down below, in a pair of too-tight leather pants, his stomach flipping in fear and excited anticipation as he took his place at the whipping post. He remembered that dom, whose name he'd forgotten, taking up position behind him…that had been all kinds of wrong. Thank God Gibbs had shown up when he did. He remembered the smooth caress of Gibbs's whip on his back – and how he'd known, even back then, that he was now in the hands of a master. His master. The only master he'd ever acknowledge or submit to. The only master he'd ever wanted. It might not be the name he called Gibbs, but it was what Gibbs was to him, in his heart.

That whipping had been amazing. He'd never known that something like that could be so nuanced. Gibbs knew just how to stoke his endorphins, gradually building the pace so that Tony was hardly aware of it hurting – it just felt so intensely *good*. He hoped he could experience that feeling again, but Gibbs hadn’t so much as slapped his ass for nearly a week now.

"Hey – penny for them," a voice said, and he jumped, startled, to see Mulder standing next to him.

"Oh. Hey. I was just thinking that I miss being spanked.”

Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Gibbs doesn’t spank you? Seriously? 'Cause if ever a man looked like he handed out regular spankings, it's him."

"Yeah, well, I think he got freaked out by my punishment issues, and I don't blame him. He doesn't want me screwed up any more than I already am."

"You told him that you like being spanked though, right?" Mulder rested his elbows on the rail.

"Yeah. I think so. It's a hard thing to explain. I mean, sometimes I love it, and sometimes I hate it – but even when I'm hating it, I always love that he's doing it. I love submitting to him, even when it's really hard – maybe especially when it's really hard. Is that weird?"

"Nah. I totally get it." Mulder grinned at him. "Don’t worry about it. Gibbs will start spanking you again soon."

"How d'you know that?" Tony glanced at him sideways.

"Because he owns the most exasperating sub in the entire world." Mulder winked. "No way he'll be able to resist turning you over his knee again sometime soon, Tony!"

"Gee, thanks!"

"You're welcome." Mulder patted his arm. "C'mon, let's go down and mingle."

The party was in full swing when they got down there. Tony ordered a coke as he was driving. He talked easily to the complete strangers Mulder introduced him to – he wasn't shy and never had a problem talking to people.

“This is a good friend of mine – Ian,” Mulder said, introducing him to a guy with an open, friendly face. “His partner, Perry, is here somewhere. And you already know Elliott.” He waved his hand at an older man, dressed with impeccable elegance. He was the tailor Tony had met on their shopping expedition. Tony also recognised Elliott’s much younger assistant, Donald, who was busy bustling around after Elliott, getting him drinks and generally hovering. Tony had known instantly that they were a couple.

“Yeah, Elliott is my dealer for expensive Italian shoes.” Tony grinned. Elliott made a little moue with his mouth but smiled indulgently at Tony. As well he should considering how much Tony had spent at his establishment earlier in the week.

There was a sudden lull in the conversation, a collective intake of breath, and Tony looked up to see what was going on. His gaze went to the landing above, where someone was standing, unmoving, surveying the scene below. Someone wearing a pair of tight black leather pants that seemed to stretch forever along a pair of long, slim legs. Someone with the kind of dominant energy that made everyone's heads turn, just for a second, creating the momentary hush in the room. Someone wearing a deep purple shirt…

"Oh. My. God." Tony put down his coke on a nearby table, left the little group of people he was talking to, and ran across the room. People turned back to their conversations as Tony sprinted up the stairs towards his dom, taking them two at a time. When he got there, he dropped to his knees in front of Gibbs and bestowed a little kiss on each of his dom's shiny boots. Then he looked up, with a grin.

"Idiot." Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Well, I told you that subby boys would fall to their knees and kiss your boots if you ever wore those pants!" Tony told him with an appreciative leer. "You came, Boss! And wearing…" Tony waved an impressed hand at Gibbs's outfit. "In the pants! And the shirt!"

"I drew the line at that ridiculous harness thing you bought to go with the pants. The shirt’s okay though - I'd never wear it to work, but here?" Gibbs glanced down at the crowd of people below, in all their many and varied outfits. "Here, it seems to blend in."

Tony got to his feet. "But you hate parties – and dressing up and the whole fetish scene thing."

"Yeah. I do. But I figure…my sub's had to do some things he hasn't liked much, either, lately – so the least I could do was show up here. It's not such a big deal. And I wanted you to know that I can bend sometimes too, Tony."

"Thank you, Jethro." Tony kissed his dom on the lips.

Gibbs removed something from his pocket, and Tony gave a grin of pure delight as his dom clipped a leash to the ‘D’ ring on the front of his collar.

“Now, this is *literally* a short leash,” Gibbs told him, wrapping his fist firmly in the leather strap and pulling.

Now Tony felt he was dressed appropriately for the event. He got a distinct glow of subby pleasure at being on the end of his dom’s leash for all to see. He liked the feeling of belonging. Gibbs owned him – visibly - and he was pretty sure that most of the other subs in the room were envying him right now. Gibbs looked so incredibly hot in those pants and that shirt, and Tony was the sub who got to wear his collar and leash.

"Gunny! You’re actually admitting to being another year older? Just how old are you anyway, old man?" Gibbs asked with a sly grin as Walter came over to him.

"Never too old to warm your ass with my belt, Private Gibbs." Walter grinned in reply, enveloping Gibbs in a hug.

"Hey, Tony – come and meet Elaine and her sub David," Mulder said, tugging on his arm.
Gibbs nodded his permission and allowed the leash to drop so Tony could go mingle while he talked to Walter.

Tony turned to see a buxom woman with dark golden hair and twinkling blue eyes. There was a tall, dark, lanky man on her arm, who clearly worshipped his mistress.

"So, this is the new submissive that Walter and Fox have been mentoring," Elaine said, looking Tony up and down. "I’m delighted to finally meet the sub who has been causing so much havoc for the past couple of months – or at least that’s what I’ve heard!"

Tony flushed. "I'm not *that* bad," he told her, taking her offered hand with a bashful grin. She was one of those effortlessly sexy women, with a glint of mischief in her eyes. He liked her immediately.

“Don’t believe him. He really is,” Mulder said.

“You can talk,” she snorted. “You should have known Fox back when Walter first enslaved him,” she confided to Tony. “The trouble he got into! I’m amazed Walter didn’t just set him free and boot him out of the door.”

“Oh really?” Tony grinned at Mulder. “And he just told me *I’m* the most exasperating sub in the world! Tell me more, Elaine!”

All Walter's friends were easy to talk to, and Tony felt at home here. He mingled freely, chatting to groups of people, enjoying the party.

Later in the evening, a familiar looking whipping post was brought out and a few people started to play.

“Bring back memories?” Fox asked, as Tony leaned against the wall, watching.

“Yeah. Best night of my life. The night Gibbs first took me as his sub,” Tony replied with a smile. “And you told me you envied me the journey, and I can see what you meant now. It’s been kind of a rollercoaster, but I’m so damn glad I got on the ride in the first place. Is Walter gonna take you flying tonight?” He nodded his head at the whipping post.

Mulder shook his head. “Nah. It’s his birthday, not mine! He’s got too many people to talk to tonight. But…maybe tomorrow.” He grinned. “At home. In the playroom.” He leaned in close and gave Tony one of his disconcerting looks. “It’s over, isn’t it?” he said. “Whatever was going on – the phone calls, the weird shit in your head, the guilt, the avoidance…you’ve got it all figured it out now, haven’t you?”

Tony thought about that for a moment. His relationship with his father would be different going forward – hopefully better, but he didn’t know that for sure.

His relationship with Gibbs was another matter – Tony was much more optimistic about that. That was rock solid and always would be. He was certain of that. They’d been through so much together and come out the other side.

And his relationship with himself? Well, that was evolving. He’d been stuck in a holding pattern of guilt and atonement for a very long time, but he thought he was finally learning to let some of that go.

“All figured out? No. But I’m getting there,” he replied. “You were right.”

“Right about what exactly?” Fox asked.

“Pretty much everything you said to me. That Gibbs would strip me bare and lay me open. That I wouldn’t be able to hide from him – although God knows, I tried. That I wanted to be punished – and that it doesn’t work that way. And that I wanted to belong to someone,” he added softly.

“Yeah, well, I went through it all myself once, Tony.” Fox gave a rueful little smile. “But I guess nobody can really ever tell you – you have to figure it out for yourself.”

Tony looked across the room, past the whipping post, to where Gibbs was talking to Walter. They were laughing at something and that made Tony smile. Gibbs wasn’t a man who laughed easily or often, and it was good to watch him enjoying himself here and letting go a little.

“Nice to see our two masters having fun,” Fox said, as if guessing his thoughts.”Gibbs actually looks like he’s having a good time. You’ll have to persuade him to get out more often.”

“Yeah. I will. I can be very persuasive when I try.” Tony grinned.

Gibbs looked up and caught Tony looking at him. There was something fierce, loving and proudly possessive in his eyes as he gazed at his sub. It wasn’t an expression Tony had ever seen on his dom’s face when he looked at anyone else. He remembered once envying Fox the expression of love in Walter's eyes, and now the person he'd loved so devotedly for eight years was looking at him the same way. Tony didn’t think he could be any happier.

He glanced at the whipping post with a raised eyebrow. Gibbs shook his head. Tony sighed.

“He won’t go for it, huh?” Fox asked.

“Nah – I knew he wouldn’t. He doesn’t like performing for a crowd – and he sure as hell wouldn’t like me taking off my shirt in front of all these people. Also – there’s the whole spanking embargo thing he seems to have going at the moment.”

“Well, I told you my views on that already,” Fox said, with a smug smirk. “Excuse me, Tony – I’m gonna go get another drink.”

"Hey – Tony isn't it?" A tall, dark-haired man approached him as Fox disappeared in the direction of the bar. "Blake," the man said, pointing to himself. "You and I almost had a thing together." He nodded in the direction of the whipping post. Ah – Blake – that was the guy's name.

"No, we really didn't," Tony replied. "But hey – it's good to see you again, Blake."

They made polite small talk for awhile. Tony knew he could never have gone down on his knees for this man here – for any of these men – not even Walter. He belonged to Gibbs and had from the minute he first met the man. Thank God Gibbs had shown up that night! He’d saved them all the trials and tribulations of Tony finding out that he couldn't submit to anyone but him.

A hand slid around his waist. "Is my sub flirting with another dom?" a low, throaty voice purred in his ear. His heart skipped a beat.

"No, I was just…" He turned to glance at Gibbs and saw the amused gleam in his eye. Tony laughed, recognising that Gibbs was giving him an opportunity to play. "Maybe," he admitted, looking at his dom through his eyelashes. "This is Blake – you remember him. He's the guy who was whipping me that night when…"

The gleam in Gibbs's eye hardened into something much more threatening. "Yeah, I remember," he grunted. He grabbed hold of the leash around Tony’s neck and pulled him in close. "He's mine," he snapped, giving Blake the death glare. The poor guy melted away into the crowd instantly.

"Aw – you scared him, Boss!"

"I don't like him. He touched you once," Gibbs growled.

"Well technically, he didn't actually touch me - he flogged me - but…" Tony paused, seeing the expression in Gibbs's eyes. "Yes, Boss," he said quickly.

"I think you need reminding who you belong to," Gibbs whispered in his ear, in a tone that went straight to Tony's cock.

Tony grinned. "I haven't forgotten! I belong to you, Boss."

"Then clearly that's a message I haven't been hitting home often enough lately," Gibbs said, sliding a hand down the back of Tony's pants. He squeezed Tony's ass meaningfully.

"No, Boss," Tony said huskily. "Uh…I mean yes, Boss. Oh, I don't know what the hell I mean," he moaned as Gibbs squeezed again.

"Home," Gibbs ordered.

Tony didn't need telling twice. They said a hasty farewell to Walter and Fox, and then Gibbs wrapped his hand in Tony’s leash and strode towards the stairs. His dom was going so fast that Tony had to trot to keep up.

Gibbs only released him when they got to the parking lot. “See you back home – don’t stop off anywhere on the way,” he commanded.

As if! Tony’s entire body was quivering in anticipation. He couldn’t wait to get back home to find out exactly what his dom wanted to do to him.

Gibbs's car was already in the driveway when he drew up, which wasn't surprising considering the way Gibbs drove. Tony scrambled out of his car, ran into the house, and then paused, frowning. The place was in darkness, so he had no idea if his dom was in the basement, the bedroom, or somewhere else.

In the end, he headed for the living room – and was waylaid by a pair of strong arms the second he stepped inside. His leash was grabbed, and he was pulled sideways and then pushed forcefully against the wall, face first. He went, easily, allowing Gibbs to manhandle him, loving how it felt to surrender to his dom.

"So…" Gibbs placed his hands on either side of Tony's head, his groin pressing against Tony's ass. Tony could feel the promising hardness of his dom's cock through his leather pants. “You need to remember who owns you,” Gibbs growled into his ear.

“Yes, Boss,” Tony agreed happily.

Gibbs nipped the back of his neck, just beneath the collar, then sucked down on his skin, making Tony shiver in anticipation. “I saw the way you were looking at that whipping post earlier. I think it’s been too long since I spanked you, boy,”

Tony’s heart skipped a beat. "If you say so, Boss," he gulped. Oh thank God!

“Oh, I do, Tony. I do.”

Gibbs turned him effortlessly. He hauled Tony over to the couch, unfastened his sub’s jeans, yanked them down to his ankles, and then flipped Tony over his knee.

Tony went with a strangled yelp, surprised by how fast that had happened. He felt cool air on his ass – and cool leather under his thighs. Then Gibbs's arm went around his waist, holding him in place, and he found himself face down and completely helpless over his dom's knee.

Gibbs stroked a hand over Tony's bare ass, and Tony felt himself begin to tingle.

"I've kept you on a long leash for the past few days. Now it's time to reel you in, ready to go back to work next week," Gibbs said, still stroking Tony's ass. "I’m gonna spank this lily-white ass hard, boy. I want you to feel the imprint of my hand when you’re sitting at your desk next week.”

Tony was so aroused by that thought that he could hardly keep still. He didn’t have a choice about that though, as Gibbs had him secured firmly in place. Tony knew from experience that once Gibbs had put him over his knee, there was no escape.

“Who do you belong to, Tony?” Gibbs demanded.

“You, Boss! I belong to you!”

"You sure as hell do. And *this* will help you keep that in mind."

And with that, Gibbs began slapping his ass. He wasn't in a hurry, and he went slowly at first, covering every single inch of Tony's bottom with firm, even slaps. Tony sighed and stretched out his body, relaxing into the spanking, intending to enjoy every single second of it.

This was pleasure, pure and simple. Gibbs knew just how to warm Tony's skin with his hard, flat hand. He knew just how long to concentrate on one spot before it became unbearable, and then he moved on to the next. Tony wriggled sensuously; God, he'd missed this! Gibbs seemed to be totally over his freak-out, if that's what it had been, because he was relentless. He held Tony ruthlessly in place as he lovingly spanked his ass until it was glowing like a beacon and felt warm enough to toast marshmallows on.

Surrendering to Gibbs's will was easy for him, and Tony went happily into his sub space, panting and moaning as his dom spanked him mercilessly for several long minutes.

Then the pace slowed, and Gibbs resumed stroking his sub's now thoroughly hot ass. Tony sighed, floating blissfully on a cloud of endorphins. Gibbs finally released him, and Tony slid off his lap and onto the couch. He nestled against his dom, the way he always did, resting his head in Gibbs's lap. Gibbs's hand came to rest, automatically, on his hair.

"Thank you, Jethro," Tony murmured hazily. "Thought you were never gonna spank me again. Missed it."

"I'll remind you of that next time you try to talk your way out of one." Gibbs grinned, looking down on him.

"Mmmm…maybe next week – when we're back at work? 'Cause you mentioned the back of the van, and over your desk, and Autopsy…and I want to know what it's like to be spanked in all of those places. Or fucked. Or both," Tony said sleepily.

He was okay with going back to work. He'd be fine. They'd be fine. He was sure there would be dramas and crises, but he was equally sure that nothing could shake what they had together. Not after all they’d been through these past few weeks. Gibbs accepted him. He knew everything Tony was and everything he’d ever done, and Tony could be himself around him. He didn’t have to hide any more.

"You look totally hot in these pants." Tony moved his head and sniffed the leather appreciatively. "And that shade of purple is a good colour on you. You should think about wearing that whole outfit to work one day. Abby would love it! You’d scare the probie to death though so maybe not."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. “You’re talking crap now, Tony.”

“Yeah. I know. It was that fantastic spanking. I’m floating...”

Tony snuggled in close, feeling lazy and content. He was a 24/7 sub. He was lying here, with a glowing red ass, wrapped up in his dom’s arms - and that was exactly where he belonged.
And he was loved. He knew that without a shadow of a doubt. It didn’t get any better than this.

"C'mon – let's go up to bed, or you'll fall asleep before I have a chance to fuck you," Gibbs said, carding his fingers through Tony's hair. "And there's no way I'm gonna let a well-spanked ass like that go to waste, trust me."

Tony smiled up at him.

"Oh, I do, Jethro," he murmured peacefully. "I do."

The End

Friendly feedback adored :-)
Thank you so much to all you guys who have been following this story all week (and getting up early or staying up late!). I have loved your witty, enthusiastic and insightful comments. And the very daft ones too *g*. *Hugs to you all*

Re: Fantastic

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-10-26 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! Not for awhile. I'm resting *g*

[identity profile] little-ozzo.livejournal.com 2009-11-07 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Finally, about two weeks after I started trying to put time aside to read this all the way through again, and I finally got it! Yay!

I decided to read it on LJ, clicking through parts, rather than on your site, because I think one of my favourite things about this fic and your writing in general is the way that you really build a story up, and structure it incredibly well. Every chapter had an ending, in which maybe a question posed earlier in the fic was answered but another one was posed, leaving me very much on the edge of my seat, eager to keep reading!

And that ability to plot stories so very densely is incredible, I'm completely jealous! ;-) And the thing is, this is so long, and well held together, and that's without a huge amount of decription in your writing style - that's not a criticism, your writing is brisk and crisp and to the point, and nothing gets in the way of me focusing on what's most important: the characters.

Because that stretched the boundaries of my ability to come up with actual constructive feedback, LOL, I'll sum up: ZOMG I LOVED IT! :-D

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I was just thinking, reading this, that people rarely want to talk to me about plotting *g* but it's something that takes up a lot of my thought process when I'm writing a story. With this one, I was really pleased with some aspects of the plotting because Tony didn't just have one big secret - he had three (although they were all linked) and they all needed their own reveal. Also, there's the fact that the plotting was designed to do clever stuff like have Tony be bruised when he turned up to the lunch with his dad - stuff like that takes planning *g*. Other stuff was things like the dossier - which just *came* to me but which was so much fun to work into the fic in various places.

Sorry, I'm rambling. But then, like I said, nobody ever wants to talk to me about plotting so I go a bit giddy when someone mentions it *g*.

And on the subject of descriptive style - I managed to lose about 6000 words of this one - which I've never done before - just by shaving off too much description where I felt it was getting in the way. I hope I got the balance right. Seemed to me I had 3 ways of saying the same thing in there in places so I cut it down to just the one wherever possible *g*.

Thanks again!

[identity profile] little-ozzo.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
The only reason you should possibly apologise for rambling is that it will only encourage me!

I am absolutely fascinated by plotting, in general, mostly because it's such a huge weakness of mine - that and using far too many adjectives that usually mean the same thing! You might not want to give your writing secrets away, which I would completely understand, but if not, I was wondering: do you build your fics up around an idea, or around scenes, if that makes sense? Like, I tend to think of a scene, then think about what context that scene could be in, and then try to vaguely plot around that. I've just had an idea which leaves me to kind of plot it, without any scenes in my head to start with, and I'm pretty flummoxed. Also, do you plan yours out with notes, scene by scene, or do you write it all first and then edit and shift and change things?

LOL, I'm always guilty of using three words that mean the same thing, like petrified, terrified, scared!

I loved the staged out reveal of Tony's secrets, the way they were built up, and I think the dossier one might have been my favourite because I remember reading the scene with Gibbs and Ziva the first time round and literally thinking I couldn't last out until the secret of that was revealed, I was on complete tenterhooks!

Thanks again!

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! Somebody asking me about the process of writing (hardly anyone ever does! LOL!). I love that the dossier thing worked so well for you!

Hmm - scenes or ideas. That's interesting. It can be both. In this one, Nikita wanted Tony being trained, while my angst ridden head wanted Tony being beaten up by his father as a kid. So I connected the two together. And then I threw in a specific *scene* that I'd had in my head for ages - where Tony is in a club being whipped and is blindfolded and Gibbs takes over. So two different ideas and one actual scene came together and formed the basis of the fic.

I think I'm unusual in that I don't write anything down. I might outline a plot bunny but usually that's just to tell a friend what I'm doing - it's not for my own sake in the writing. What I have is an overall sense of what the story is about...but when I write it, a gazillion other things emerge. As they do, I sometimes realise one of them is *really* important (like that dossier) and weave it in or out. That started out as me needing a Gibbs pov at that stage after all the "WAAHHHH!" of them coming home. I wanted him to have a breather but that was a bit boring (Gibbs drinks coffee - so what?!) and then before I knew it there was a dossier involved *g* which was MUCH more interesting. Suddenly, we have a *mystery* - oooh! *g*. And when they go and see Skinner the next day, we see that he's guessed at some part of that mystery too. So having resolved one hook (will Gibbs turn up at the club and take Tony as his sub?), I've immediately created another one (what the hell is in that dossier and what is Tony hiding?) which gives a point to reading on (beyond just the hope of there being kinky sex of course *g*).

I hold two things in my head - the scene I'm currently writing, and the overall plot. And I usually work up scenes in my head. So I'll start out thinking "hmmm...they have a whole week before they have sex - what on earth *happens* in that week?" And I try a few things out in my head. Making connections is the hardest part - getting from a to b. If my brain isn't in gear then it's impossible, and I might as well forget it. I'll often think about it while I'm driving, walking, or taking a shower *g*. It kind of goes - "I need to get to point x - there are three ways to get there..." and I try each of them out and see which one works best.

POV is a big issue - I had to think of AGES whose pov the scene in the basement was from when Gibbs tells the stories about the 2 boys. In the end, it was so obvious I wondered why I'd had to agonise about it, but I went through how it would be if it was Gibbs, or Tony, or it swapped halfway through. Whose head did we need to be in - did we need to see a reaction or did we need to *feel* it?

Sorry you asked now? *gggg*!

[identity profile] little-ozzo.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee, don't encourage me to ask too many - I've only really written one shots before, and have only just finished my longest fic ever (at a fairly unimpressive 16,500 words, LOL, small potatoes to you!) and it's been in a pre-structured, five things format! So hearing about how longer plots get structured is super useful for me.

So, you've got your basic idea, and wanted to mix the idea of Tony's father with the training (worked well, BTW; being a fairly vanilla soul, the emotional slant is what reeled me in and the hot sex was a total bonus, and by the re-read I no longer blushed quite as badly as I did initially and was really enjoying the raunchier parts!), but did you have kind of, like, a start, and a begining, in any more complciated terms than getting the pair of them together with honesty? That thing about hooks totally makes sense, there needs to be questions to keep it going, and I'm guessing that although maybe one hook <could work, it's difficult to sustain a really long story on just one? (Sorry, by the way, there's absolutely no need for you to indulge my confused questions, so thank you for explaining what you did so far!)

LOL, driving is the place I tend to think of most of the scenes I'm planning, but I usually do rush to scribble them down, usually on my phone (once I'm pulled over!) so that I don't forget particular lines that I like or something. That bit about getting from one point to the other is really interesting, though, that's totally cleared that up a little bit in my head about how to kind of narrow down bits of plot, if that makes sense, so thank you! And I need to learn to delete things more, you know, to recognise when something isn't working for the story and is maybe just a scene I thought up that was cute at the time, but isn't necessary in the story.

Ooh, POV, that is something else I am all over the shop with - well, not so much all over the shop as totally boxed in, so far I haven't even attempted getting into Tony's head, I'm completely in Gibbs'. Probably because from watching the show, I feel like I have a fairly decent handle on why Gibbs acts like he does, but with Tony I'm always in two minds about him. He's so deliciously interpretable, and I'm indecisive. But I'm definitely going to attempt him soon - right now, I have no ability to switch between them, I don't think. How do you judge which character's emotions are more important to see in a scene? Is it more just a feel for it, or is that planned fairly carefully? Do you worry about spending too much time in one head and not in the other?

Aren't you sorry you answered? *g*

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee - not at all. I love it!

On the subject of pov - remember when you write Tony in your story he'll be half your creation and half MW's/DB's. You're telling your own story. That might help you get into his mindset - you control him in THIS story after all *g*. (Controlling Tony - always a nice thought *g*).

As for deciding about pov - I just do the sketching it out in my head thing. I think "if it's Gibbs's pov, then we'll discover x y and z. But if it's *Tony's* then I'll have to give away something I'm not prepared to at this stage so let's stick to Gibbs. Also, Gibbs watching Tony's reaction is more interesting than us *being* Tony and feeling it at this point, esp as we can't make total sense of it without knowing the bit I'm not gonna reveal yet". *g*. Yeah, nobody said it wasn't a convoluted process at times!

And the worrying about spending too long in one pov thing - no. I just write until it feels like the natural end of a pov section. Sometimes they're really long! And sometimes I know I need another section from the same character's pov soon after, so I might just insert a small passage from another pov, just to break up the emotional tension before returning to the original character's pov. I just have a feel for the pacing and where the breaks need to be.

I had to invent a couple of Gibbs's povs where there weren't any in 2M on the final edit, because I realised one of Tony's just went on too long and needed breaking up in the middle. This was good as it actually led me to a little thing about Gibbs that I hadn't anticipated happening and started his whole problem with saying the "l" word *g*. Fortuituous! Although sometimes I think it's just the story itself nudging me in the right direction.

As for the start...that's tricky. With 2M, I started off with the whipping scene and worked back. I realised I wanted to set the whipping scene in a 24/7 crossover, so I thought, how do I work Skinner and Mulder into the whole thing? And then the ideas just leaped into my head, sort of fully formed. Tony is at a bar - Hammer is the barman...he calls Skinner...etc etc. I played with other ideas too - Mulder and Skinner were already at the bar when Tony came in, that kind of thing - but this was the one that worked best.

Sometimes I have the idea for the opening scene, but more often I have the idea for the overall story - I know what it's about and have a vague sense of the scenes within it - but not necessarily the opening one. Sometimes that one can be quite hard! It wasn't in 2M but it sometimes is. I often just have a *sense* of the scope of the thing, and flesh out the individual scenes as I go along. So it might not be more than "it's in a bar" and then I work up the rest in my head. Or "Gibbs is in the basement working on the boat, Tony is tied to the wall, and Gibbs makes Tony say his safe word by telling him his story" and I know what the story is, but I don't know the full details until I write it. For example - I had no idea the brakes on the car were faulty until I wrote the bit with Gibbs confronting Daddy DiNozzo *g*.

And on the subject of thinking things up while driving and writing them down - I've found (and this might be specific to me) that I try NOT to think up the details and dialogue unless I am working on that scene at that moment with my fingers on the keyboard. Because otherwise, when I GET to the scene in question, I spend my time trying to remember my fancy dialogue or copying it in, rather than letting the scene flow naturally. Take that aforementioned Gibbs in the basement scene - I played out the entire thing while taking a bath months ago, saying great bits of dialogue to myself and playing both parts - but then forgot all about it. Didn't write it down - on purpose. Because by the time I got to it, I knew the emotional nuances would have changed and although my broad idea still worked, the specifics *wouldn't*. I never write out of order either because I lose track of the psychology and pacing. So I start at the beginning and write through to the end, no matter *now* enticing that sexy bit three quarters of the way through is *g*. This is just me though - other people might work differently.



[identity profile] little-ozzo.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's all so helpful, seriously, and really good advice. I already do the writing in chronological order, because I know that if I skip ahead to the fun scene, it might seem great when I'm done but it'll distract me from writing the rest and it'll lose all kind of emotional value if I write the rest of the story leading up to it.

I think half of the problem is that I get caught up thinking about lines, too, and it kind of makes me lose focus on the scene I like itself. I'm going to try focusing more on the context, and keeping the lines until later - this means, of course, that I'm going to have to get myself into action and actually sit down and just write it, rather than pondering it dreamily! I have a feeling it'll take a while to train msyelf out of that habit, but I'll definitely try it with the opener of the fic that's nibbling at me now.

That's so interesting about the brakes kind of popping up, because they were the thing in that scene that really decided me on where I stood with Tony's dad! Before that I was totally umming and ahhing and deciding whether I had some compassion for him or not!

I was actually going to be horrendously cheeky, and wonder if you would mind if I stole your Rhode Island NCIS Centre idea for a fic? It's not similar to your (totally ace, by the way, get on that!) plot idea, but I've had a kind of plot idea and it involves Tony going off somewhere else for a while, and Rhode Island - MRCT, not DVU - would be perfect. But it could easily be worked another way with him going to another NCIS centre, I just didn't want you to see it (if I ever actually write it) and think, WTF! ;-) (I'd totally also credit you!) (And if you wanted to check it and make sure it didn't stray too close to plagiarism, that'd be fine too.) (If it comes to anything, which it might not!)

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Glad it was of some help. I enjoyed talking about it far too much *g*.

I don't mind about the Rhodes Island NCIS thing - I loved the idea of it so it'd be nice for it to be realised *somewhere* - we all know it won't ever be the spinoff that I'd like *g*. Credit would be great :-). I might decide to use it myself but I doubt it - and anyway, the more the merrier as it's totally where Tony belongs *ggg*. Well, there and in Gibbs's arms ;-)

[identity profile] fgjkl86.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Love it. Some of the first NCIS fandom stuff I've read, and I'm pretty sure the first of yours I've read. Got through it all in under 24 hours. Quite a trip, heartwrenching and emotional and funny, but absolutely perfect. You write crisply and well, and the words never distract from the story itself as is so common in the bulk of fanfiction. This was also the first lifestyle fic I've read in several years -- so much of it doesn't appeal, but something about the way you spun this tale made it ring true. Thank you!

[identity profile] little-ozzo.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
It was really interesting to hear, too - I was just about to stupidly suggest you should do a DVD commentary on one of your fics, then remembered how long they all are! *g* Although, there's always Hands!

If it gets done, you'll get credited for actually doing the research and coming up with something so ace and plausible - Gibbs' arms will also play a part in the fic, LOL! Thank you!

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-09 08:51 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! I'm never sure about those DVD commentary things - do people really read them? And yeah, the long ones are SO long that I'm *sure* nobody would wade through a comm. Although...I suppose a question and answer session about the process of writing a particular fic - or writing generally might be fun :-). At least it narrows it down to what people might actually be interested in hearing, rather than me rambling on endlessly.

Yay to your fic and Gibbs's arms *g* (And Tony safely ensconsed in them I hope!)





[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-09 08:51 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! I'm delighted you enjoyed it :-)

[identity profile] little-ozzo.livejournal.com 2009-11-09 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
If it's an author I enjoy (er, yes, that would definitely include you!), then I always enjoy commentary - I liked [livejournal.com profile] sequitur_fic's commentary on one of hers, and [livejournal.com profile] rageprufrock did one on my favourite of her SGA fics that I enjoyed too - but then, I am quite greedy that way, LOL, and in no way forcing you!

I always love reading about how people write their fic, but totally understand that a) writing stuff down about writing might actually not be that fun for the writer and b) they might not want to give their process away! But, if it was something you had ever thought about doing, you'd get at least one avid reader! ;-P

But of course! After much ridiculous angsting, obviously, they're so useless at communication!

[identity profile] pyr0-grl.livejournal.com 2009-11-15 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow...I don't usually ship Gibbs/Tony, McGee is my favorite. I don't even remember how I ran across your story, though I read the synopsis and had to read it. :) It was really good. I enjoyed the entire premeis of the story and how you worked canon actions into the story. Walter & Fox were a nice touch, as Original characters they are lovable and forgettable, both necessary qualities. You love them while they're in the scene and forget about them when they aren't. I enjoyed the story, but since I have read the *whole* thing in one sitting I think I'll head to bed. Its late...or rather really really early. Ugh. :)

Thanks for the lovely hours of entertainment!
~P

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-11-17 08:10 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm delighted you enjoyed it even though it's not your favourite pairing :-)

Awesome!

[identity profile] hellesofbelles.livejournal.com 2009-12-17 06:33 am (UTC)(link)
Just wanted to write and say that I love this piece! I have read it like twenty times since you posted it and will probably read it another twenty times before I have memorized it!

Re: Awesome!

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-12-17 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I love that you've read it so many times *ggg*.

[identity profile] margarks.livejournal.com 2009-12-29 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
omg, finally had a chance to read this!! I apologize for not stopping to write comments on every part, but I couldn't stop reading! I even snuck chapters in to read all day at work!

Lovely, as always. I really enjoy how you are able to meld your 'verses together so well. And I SUPER LOVED getting a glimpse of Fox and Walter from 24/7 again!

And it was totally believable, too, to have had them meet in the Corps like that. It was great that Walter took both of them under his wing, so to speak, and I can totally see both of them in those roles so perfectly.

I really enjoyed, too, Abby's bit in the whole thing and how Tony could trust her and her special place in both their lives. Totally canon.

You made me cry at all of Tony's revelations, and as always, had such beautiful love scenes. Not just in the hot factor, but the intensity and the emotion in all of them.

Thanks for writing! Now I totally want to re-read Fox and Walter's story, and then go off and read Coming Home and then Hiding in Plain Sight. All some of my very favoritest fics.

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2009-12-29 12:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! I'm delighted you enjoyed it :-). I had great fun revisiting Fox and Walter - it felt like a nice time to do so, and have them help Gibbs and Tony on *their* path to 24/7 bliss *g*.

[identity profile] jo-lea.livejournal.com 2010-02-11 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, what a fantastic story!

I'll be worthless the rest of the day now ;)
ext_3440: (Default)

[identity profile] tejas.livejournal.com 2010-02-11 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

Oops! This is what I get for hitting a bunch of comments without actually making sure they all relate to the same thing. :-) I thought this was about something else.

Move along, nothing to see here... :-)
Edited 2010-02-11 21:45 (UTC)

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2010-02-11 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Many thanks :-)

[identity profile] xanthelj.livejournal.com 2010-02-11 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL! I figured that :-)

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