The ramping up of tension in this first part is very, very well done. You can really see how off-kilter Tony is and how disturbing the others are finding him - it's kind of like some of his worse moments in the show (er, the Good Wife's Club, anyone? Ew!), only not! Very cleverly done.
I think I came very close to crying when I realized that the character's insights about Justin responding a little too well to Gibbs' authority applied just as much to Tony.
ETA: Oh! And I love the way you turned Tony's canonical fussiness about his appearance into a more obvious marker of his nervousness. That's inspired. Because it almost kind of is, in canon, so you only expand on it a little ... sorry, this is not very eloquent of me, I've been up all night. But I had to point it out!
no subject
I think I came very close to crying when I realized that the character's insights about Justin responding a little too well to Gibbs' authority applied just as much to Tony.
ETA: Oh! And I love the way you turned Tony's canonical fussiness about his appearance into a more obvious marker of his nervousness. That's inspired. Because it almost kind of is, in canon, so you only expand on it a little ... sorry, this is not very eloquent of me, I've been up all night. But I had to point it out!